For swim (start using that word), it is not just the ridiculous amount I was taking, it was the side affects of delirium, out of body, dreamlike affect, that lead to binge drinking, to shooting meth or shooting heroin all on the same night. But the amnesiac effects overpowered all other substances. Swim went and sought zolpidem first day out of a succesfull detox, which was great due to the high levels of benzos to begin with. I found detox quite a paradox. No contact on the outside world, no cigarettes. And plenty of people just reminiscing about the glory days and glorifying drugs or alcohol. It was kind of like prison. E.g I was a newbie, I dabbled in illegal recreational drugs but was not an addict, in there I found new contacts, hooked up with a great chick who was trying to kick heroin. When we got out I was about to get a cab and she pops round the corner 'fate' maybe, anyway swim ended up shooting heroin for the first time with er in a whirlwind 3 week relationship. Which I have dabbled in since, would never endorse it but love it. No amnesia, no shaking, no arsehole personality or bizzare behaviour. But deadly! I have not been hanging out and my goal is to stay that way.
Anyway swims experience is kind of like weed is a gateway drug for most, zolpidem was for swim. As weed was never a pleasurable drug, paranoia etc. Every brains different.
In all seriousness though substances ruined swims marriage, career, relationships with family and friends, finances. WRONG. I ruined it with selfish behaviour, and pissweak excuses.
Don't get me wrong as we know there are great times. And I can say I have tried every substance interested in. Life is starting to look rosy. As long as the abuse of 1 substance has been substituted for a more dangerous 1!