Your Weird House Party Stories

[Urbain]

Ill start.

Myself and a few mates went back to a familiar mates flat after a drum and bass night in Edinburgh. All pretty spangled and still going strong, we camped out in the living room chucking back booze and listening to music on the decks.

Before long, we could hear sounds coming from the kitchen.

As we all walked through, low and behold, there was a complete random guy stood at the sink washing the dishes! Stimmed out of his box. We asked him who he was, and why was he doing the dishes, and he replied; he had heard the music from the street, came in, and as he passed the kitchen, he saw the dishes and "wanted to be helpful".

We didn't realise we left the door open.

Needless to say, there was something slightly creepy about that particular bloke, so we politely turned him back toward the door..

 

[ScotchMist]

You let him finish the dishes first though, right?

I'll have me a thinks about the topic..

 

[Don Luigi]

I was at a house party during the meph boom. With us was someone we knew years ago, who had just moved back over from London and escaping a crack habit. Anyway, we were doing lines in the kitchen and we could hear a guy talking about some girl being a skank after giving him chlamydia. It turned out that it was the homecomer's girlfriend and he went beserk. He grabbed a knife and we had to restrain him. He then got pissed off at us and his words were, ''Youse boys aren't my friends, you won't even let me stab him''.

Turns out we weren't his friends. London had changed him a bit! He's passed away now.

 

[Don Luigi]

Haha, nicely done :D

 

[SmokingAces]

Its years ago now. But this guy was having a party never met him before but about 30 people all crammed into this living room. I don't think the guy had taken pills before but someone must have gave him some mandy. It's early in the morning but the guy was so totally skull fucked like something you've rarely ever seen, no longer human basically. On top of that 2 slutty girls playing with each other in the kitchen pilled out of their faces. We must have only been about 16. 6 in the morning guys full on talking to the walls, and HIS DAD WALKS IN, turns out he is high up in the police! Everyone has to leave, thankfully nothing more came of it. House was totally trashed aswell lol.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

At a house party I walked into the kitchen to find 2 guys putting their pubes into a cereal box that they had taken from the host's kitchen cupboard. I have a feeling they weren't overly fond of the guy :D

I've heard many stories of people shitting in weird places at house parties. Not sure if true but friend of a friend said he had took the back of one of those old huge tv's and put his dump in it and then screwed tv back together.

Have walked into many bathrooms to find half naked drunk people sleeping- either on bog, floor or the bath.



Probably the worst though was when I was out drinking with these posh English guys. They were just real arrogant privately educated tossers who seemed to get worse with every drink. Anyway in the early hours of the morning, I'd decided I'd had enough and was going home. So I went looking for the owner of the house, to ask his address for taxi, and walked into his kitchen to find him with his trousers down with his cock in the mouth of a dead pig.
I was glad to get out of there I tell you. I heard they even spit roasted and ate the pig the next day. Dirty bastards.

Yeah right! You'll be telling us he then went on to lead the country next...

 

[Josh]

I was at a house party when I was at uni and one of my lecturers stumbled up to me holding a bag of weed and said "I'm too fucked to roll a joint, can you skin up for me?". Obviously I obliged but by the time I'd finished she was nowhere to be found. We smoked the rest of her weed that night but it was never mentioned again.

 

[deano88]

about 5 years ago was at a good friends flat who regularly had house parties that sometimes would go on for 2 or 3 days and it was about 11am on a saturday we'd been on all sorts, mdma, amt lots of alcohol and some meph so was pretty spangled. one of our mates fucked of out for a sec leaving the door to the flat open then out of nowhere this random short skinny polish geezer came in the living room and said in a very borat style voice "you guys having a paarty yeah!"

we freaked out thinking he was undercover police and started shouting at him saying "nah mate your undercover fuck off you cunt get the fuck out of this flat who you think you are coming in here etc" the guy had a look of terror on his face and said very nervously "i just come to view the flat, i have viewing today" then the mate who fucked off a few minutes earlier came up with a grin on his face saying he'd let him in. turns out our mate had seen this polish guy on the way out and the polish guy told him he's viewing a flat in the block so he told him it was ours for a laugh and told him to go straight on up.

i'm not sure who was more shit up us or the polish dude!

 

[koneko]

Some random wanking and spunking onto the house plants, when confronted he was astonished by our lack of appreciation of his generous fertilisation

I never appreciated people who pished on the sofa or anywhere else either

 

[Sadie]

I need to know who did this! That's hilarious in any situation that isn't your own!!! I was told I once tried to pee in the kitchen ( in my own home, I knew the lay out!!!) Very much not my proudest moment!

 

[SKL]

I was at a house party during the meph boom. With us was someone we knew years ago, who had just moved back over from London and escaping a crack habit. Anyway, we were doing lines in the kitchen and we could hear a guy talking about some girl being a skank after giving him chlamydia. It turned out that it was the homecomer's girlfriend and he went beserk. He grabbed a knife and we had to restrain him. He then got pissed off at us and his words were, ''Youse boys aren't my friends, you won't even let me stab him''.

Turns out we weren't his friends. London had changed him a bit! He's passed away now.

I'm not a European but I came across this thread and reminded me of this, couldn't resist:

Further adventures in drugs, knives, and other people's women.

New Years Eve many years ago. Myself and this chick (some random club shot girl/model type, way out of my league, I'd picked up at some underground warehouse party by basically handing out exotic drugs to random people, yeah I was reckless as fuck but this part of my life was pretty damn fun) are K'd out of our faces, probably on some MDMA and random research chemicals, rolling around on an air mattress making out and then the next thing I know there's a knife plunging into the air mattress and all the air is coming out, so I roll away and try to adopt some kind of defensive posture but as K'd out as I am I'm just swinging my fists more or less at random, luckily my friends are there to restrain the guy, who happens to be the host of the party, and the chick I was making out with was staying with him (apparently, yes, on the couch, not the bed) and basically just leading him on for free rent, well, he didn't take kindly to my intrusion. They pulled him into the bathroom, disarmed him, and made him take some kind of benzo powder and he was soon dozing off, I exited stage left with the girl and we ended the night at some punk rock squat smoking crack with a transvestite on the roof. Memories.

 

[koneko]

I have no idea who it was. I used to live in a communal house with my first husband to be. It was a big ole rambling place where many parties just kinda happened. It attracted all sorts of odd balls off their nut. This was nearly 30 years ago but I still remember that guy and his cock lol...

I can visualise you being stubborn and peeing in the kitchen btw

 

[CfZrx]

high on ecstacy in the late 90s at a party i hallucinated that my 1/8th of weed caught on fire from a candle and the plastic covered each individual nug like little plastic weed McNuggets.

 

[Sadie]

You know me too well Koneko

Stubborn as fuck! Also, an absolute idiot on certain things. This happened to be G at the time. Who the fuck knows where my head was. Probably up my own arse!

 

[koneko]

You know me too well Koneko

Stubborn as fuck! Also, an absolute idiot on certain things. This happened to be G at the time. Who the fuck knows where my head was. Probably up my own arse!

Ack G peeing is totally understandable, I've always found it urgent myself :D I've even pee'd on the man when his amorous attentions (you know what it's like..) got in the way haha, though I think he kinda liked that at the time 8)

Tmi, my apologies.

 

[Sadie]

That's the funniest thing I've heard in ages. Also, one that gives me a visual idea of the situation. I'm not so sure I should have those images in my head, even if they do make me giggle a bit!

 

[koneko]

Him being a dirty bastard and all that one would expect no less 8)

 

[Smiley91]

Eat potpourri(the scented stuff?) whilst k'd and e'd and steaming with a friend spontaneously followed by a worm. Don't ask me why. The same night my pal got his eyebrows shaved and the neighbour ended up with a shit on his car bunnet (he was my friends neighbour and they HATED each other...going to work in the morning to find that, sick lol) I mean I know this isn't that funny but it's the best I've got minus an old hippy lady flashing her fandango at me and chasing me around one time. Wish I had more funny stories to share in general on here but just not in a good way at the moment, cant seem to be the happy-go-lucky person I was before i.e. depressed, hence my desperate attempts to fit in somehow (can't exactly contribute to other forums with info as im not exactly very clue-up myself on drugs/have valuable info to share n been cutting back.) Sorry for rambling to anyone reading and probably bringing a negative tone to a funny thread, some quality stories here haha.

 

[BlindHelperMonkey]

a geek'ish friend in school's rents were fuckin off and so he decided he was going to have a party. unfortunately he

knew about four folk, one of which was me. so knowing i was one of the greatest fucks in the year, he asked me to invite

some people i knew. fair do's.
200+ fucked kids later, in, around & behind every inch of his rents semi-detached,

brothel-esque, detritus-laden impromtu-rave.. a wide-eyed geekish friend grabbed my arm & exclaimed in panic that 'there

are too many people' 'i need everyone out'

to which i, pilled off my nut, school sweetheart in hand, looking round at

the allenveloping chaos underway around us.. asked precisely what he expected me to do about it now

not my fault was it

(tries to sound like an EADD native)

congrats for being an amazing american who would happily pass for an EADD Native!

 

[SKL]

(tries to sound like an EADD native) stop thumbing your mobile while you're gurning on pills m8