Your most shameful moment on drugs?

[Ganjcat]

Yeh, "just going for a pee". Two hours later the kids are banging on the door, "Dad, have you finished yet?"

all you need is a radio, newspaper and a can of air freshener a window is a bonus

 

[Ganjcat]

Problem for me was one time I found about .1 or .2 of black tar heroin I dropped somehow on my floor once. After that day I was SCOURING my floor for anything. Never found much other than some specs of weed and even then it was just a sickness... madness...I'm glad I don't do that anymore.

That's true insanity. Expecting a different result above all reality.

I don't even have the energy for that stuff anymore carpet surfing maybe if I did stimulants to I would I think it your gonna find something you will find it no need to look know what I mean I remember once I brought half an egg for one of the first time smoked it none stop in my room which is in the attic for 3 days.. It was good stuff for the next 3 days I done nothing but sleep and burn out then started to withdraw I was certain I smoked it anyway another few days to by and I'm pretty uncomfortable now I open my bottom draw and their is a fat pile of the same stuff lying their not even hiden I felt like it was Christmas I just have been really out of it to do that and forget it's not the first time though basically same thing happened at my hostel as above I had to clean my room out I have them the key but they said I had to clean and hoover so I did I then went for a piss and don't ask my why but I looked behind the toilet and found my tobacco tin I didn't get excited because usually I just find fags and weed so I open it up and their is a large amount of heroin Beatles I decided to remove from a foil and store and keep in mind if they didn't give me my key back to clean up I would have no way of accessing the room again I also had fuck all for the last two days and their was at least £20s worth and like the cocky little cunt I am I quickly got out some foil and locked myself in the bathroom for one last smoke I even got interrupted but just kept my cool and said I was having a shit it didn't matter once I smoked it anyway cus I was getting thrown out I probably had such a suit eating grin on me as I walked out the reception some residents who I did not get along with were their to see me off mainly overweight wannabe chavs i just laughed at them got in my free taxi and drove off

 

[TripSitterNZ]

When i took a ecasaty pill that had mdma in it along with meth and some other stuff i was pinging hard and had extreme urge to redose and could not find my other pill so i went outside retracing my steps to my apartment out in the street looking along the side walk and on my hands and knees looking through the bushes with no fucks given that i was in plain view of public and people were looking at me like i was a crack head. I really looked like a crack head though my eyes were insane dilated jaw and wide open jaw gurning like a mad man and i was walking super fast after a hour of no luck i went back inside and sitting there inside my draw was the pill. I was so fucked and on another planet my vision would not stop vibrating that i could not see in it plain sight. I promptly ingested the second pill and almost died was awake for 28 hours with a month comedown. I believe if i found it straight i would of died and that hour was the universe protecting me from a overdose as the drugs cleared my system some more. Not to mention quite a few people that lived next to me also walked by me wired out of mind looking for drugs in the bushes.

In the moment i had no shame and my mission was to find that pill.

 

[AutoTripper]

When i took a ecasaty pill that had mdma in it along with meth and some other stuff i was pinging hard and had extreme urge to redose and could not find my other pill so i went outside retracing my steps to my apartment out in the street looking along the side walk and on my hands and knees looking through the bushes with no fucks given that i was in plain view of public and people were looking at me like i was a crack head. I really looked like a crack head though my eyes were insane dilated jaw and wide open jaw gurning like a mad man and i was walking super fast after a hour of no luck i went back inside and sitting there inside my draw was the pill. I was so fucked and on another planet my vision would not stop vibrating that i could not see in it plain sight. I promptly ingested the second pill and almost died was awake for 28 hours with a month comedown. I believe if i found it straight i would of died and that hour was the universe protecting me from a overdose as the drugs cleared my system some more. Not to mention quite a few people that lived next to me also walked by me wired out of mind looking for drugs in the bushes.

In the moment i had no shame and my mission was to find that pill.

Sounds like that other unknown compound, in combo with the meth and MDMA, caused supreme disinhibition.

One thing to be mindful on all drugs, some more than others.

High dose acid even, really not so much.

Certain benzos though for sure.

Not even Ketamine exactly. You are either K holed and dysfunctiinal, or beautifully comforted and relaxed and still within your higher self.

So tonight, after a deep after LSD depression come down period, I listened to this classy, livebeat oldskool hardcore track earlier from a Dreamscape rave cd pack.

I couldn't find the music share thread in my state, so as one off here it is!

 

[Jabberwocky]

I used to have a very strong sense of shame growing up (catholic thing most likely) and that morning early in my meth career that the dawn saw me bouncing off the walls with a pair of trans hookers in a public housing estate I fully expected my shame to hit suicidal levels when I sobered up. Amazingly the thunderbolt of doom never rang out for me in the weeks that followed. Quite possibly meth cures your Catholicism as well as ruining your teeth and making you psychotic.

 

[AutoTripper]

I used to have a very strong sense of shame growing up (catholic thing most likely) and that morning early in my meth career that the dawn saw me bouncing off the walls with a pair of trans hookers in a public housing estate I fully expected my shame to hit suicidal levels when I sobered up. Amazingly the thunderbolt of doom never rang out for me in the weeks that followed. Quite possibly meth cures your Catholicism as well as ruining your teeth and making you psychotic.

Yeah, bang bang on! The oppressing, guilt installing doctrine of Catholicism is purely evil and so misguided.

My wise, ex hippy 70 year old mum swears catholic is bad. She's still messed up from it. So strongly conditioned, so early on in life, to feel so guilty....to this day she is still denyying herself happiness and freedom.


But, as you describe these things can be shaken.

The right drugs, at the right time, CAN do this very quickly.

This is one perfect example of the mental and emotional healing powers of certain "druuuggs" lol, especially psychedellics, also MDMA used rightly (MDMA is a psychedellic to me, visuals or not.)

 

[kaosisallwesee]

My wise, ex hippy 70 year old mum swears catholic is bad. She's still messed up from it. So strongly conditioned, so early on in life, to feel so guilty....to this day she is still denyying herself happiness and freedom.

I'd argue that most religion is pretty evil and messed up.
My mum was a jehovas witness when I was a kid, so it was pushed onto me and my brother from infancy to our early teens. It was the way they'd use fear to make kids worship god. When I was 5 or 6, I remember being terrified of things like ouija boards and tarot cards because a few of the older people in the congregation, my mother included, told me that they can allow demons to enter your mind which then encourage you to commit murder and rape people. Same goes for saying my prayers before bed, I was tricked into doing it daily without fail because I was scared. We were always told that if I didn't thank god for all the good things in life it would lead to bad things happening and open the door for Satan and his demons. What kind of shit is that to tell a 5 year old? I spent my childhood scared that Satan and his mates were going to find a way to get me, or send someone else they'd possessed to get me.
That's my experience of religion. And if god was real, what's his fucking problem?! He'd be a massive arsehole.

Shameful Moment:
Speaking of being forced to attend "meetings" and religion. The last time I attended one I was 13 or 14 and it was the special memorial service thing for jesus? I think? It happens once a year and it's extra long and dull. I'd been at a friends parents bbq all day. They were the kind of parents that buy you beer and don't mind you smoking the odd joint. I'd drank maybe once before this and ended up drinking 4-5 cans and smoking a joint between myself and two friends. I wasn't expecting to have to go to the "kingdom hall" and spend the evening listening to and old man tell us why we're evil and how we can be less evil but, long story short, I got home and was dragged along. I was twatted, head spinning out, leaning against the wall, unable to stay awake or speak coherently at this point. Apparently, I'd started throwing up on myself half way through the service and when told to go to the toilet by my mum I shouted that I was fine and just didn't feel well/something about dodgy bbq. I did eventually make it to the toilets, where I stayed for the rest of the evening lol. When it came time to leave everyone was really sympathetic and hoped I felt better. As I walked past the main door I caught a glimpse of two guys with a mop cleaning sick off the floor and chairs haha. I managed to get away with the bad stomach line too. I don't remember a whole lot but my brother filled me in the next day. He couldn't believe they all bought it, said it stank of beer and I was falling into peoples chairs while making my way to the toilet. I think deep down my mum knew, as neither me or my bro were made to attend any future meetings/services.

 

[AutoTripper]

I'd argue that most religion is pretty evil and messed up.
My mum was a jehovas witness when I was a kid, so it was pushed onto me and my brother from infancy to our early teens. It was the way they'd use fear to make kids worship god. When I was 5 or 6, I remember being terrified of things like ouija boards and tarot cards because a few of the older people in the congregation, my mother included, told me that they can allow demons to enter your mind which then encourage you to commit murder and rape people. Same goes for saying my prayers before bed, I was tricked into doing it daily without fail because I was scared. We were always told that if I didn't thank god for all the good things in life it would lead to bad things happening and open the door for Satan and his demons. What kind of shit is that to tell a 5 year old? I spent my childhood scared that Satan and his mates were going to find a way to get me, or send someone else they'd possessed to get me.
That's my experience of religion. And if god was real, what's his fucking problem?! He'd be a massive arsehole.

Shameful Moment:
Speaking of being forced to attend "meetings" and religion. The last time I attended one I was 13 or 14 and it was the special memorial service thing for jesus? I think? It happens once a year and it's extra long and dull. I'd been at a friends parents bbq all day. They were the kind of parents that buy you beer and don't mind you smoking the odd joint. I'd drank maybe once before this and ended up drinking 4-5 cans and smoking a joint between myself and two friends. I wasn't expecting to have to go to the "kingdom hall" and spend the evening listening to and old man tell us why we're evil and how we can be less evil but, long story short, I got home and was dragged along. I was twatted, head spinning out, leaning against the wall, unable to stay awake or speak coherently at this point. Apparently, I'd started throwing up on myself half way through the service and when told to go to the toilet by my mum I shouted that I was fine and just didn't feel well/something about dodgy bbq. I did eventually make it to the toilets, where I stayed for the rest of the evening lol. When it came time to leave everyone was really sympathetic and hoped I felt better. As I walked past the main door I caught a glimpse of two guys with a mop cleaning sick off the floor and chairs haha. I managed to get away with the bad stomach line too. I don't remember a whole lot but my brother filled me in the next day. He couldn't believe they all bought it, said it stank of beer and I was falling into peoples chairs while making my way to the toilet. I think deep down my mum knew, as neither me or my bro were made to attend any future meetings/services.

Hi. Just a few comments here. First- I am glad your reply to me was your 663rd post, and not your 666th!!!

Lol, that would have disconcerted me somewhat.

Secondly- I wonder if the ceremony you describe, was the infamous "Midnight Mass"?

My older couzin Matthew, when we stayed with relatives in the countryside at christmas many decades ago, he had to attend Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, like a 2 hour prayer ceremony around midnight. He attended a posh UK Private School in Kimbolton with a strong religious backbone.

He would get home after midnight, I used to sleep on the floor in his room.

One other point. And I'm not disagreeing with anything you have posited above. But I do actually strongly believe in there being a real, actual spiritual world all around us.

In relation to tarot cards etc, I do actually accept that there is a danger of imposters (spirits, demons etc) manipulating and deceiving/misleading us, through channeling etc.

I admit, I too am pretty "pissed"...at "God"! That son of a bitch best have a sufficient explanation for me when I pass from this life, which as far as I am concerned, is Hell, or I will not be happy.

I try hard to keep some sort of faith, hold hope etc, to keep going.

But "He" ain't throwing me much rope.

So instead I sit and perform algebra in my head, trying to fathom out some sort of explanation, rationale, and justification for the immense level of sufferring and pain I personally endure, let alone every other suffering incarnated soul, past present and so on.

But I can't accept that there is no "higher power" as such.

I just don't get the game. Please show me the blueprint God so I can better understand and accept this pain.

 

[kaosisallwesee]

I just don't get the game. Please show me the blueprint God so I can better understand and accept this pain.

This is the main reason I stopped believing in a higher power, I saw no evidence of their existence. The older I got the more I realised how horrible life could be for some people. What God would allow such suffering, leaving innocent children to die in the most horrific ways imaginable?... You wouldn't watch a defenceless child being attacked on the street and do nothing to help, god does that hundreds if not thousands of times a day. If they want people to have faith and believe in their existence I'm going to need more than blind faith and a 1500 year old book thats been rewriten and altered no end of times.

And no, that's Catholicism I think. My dad's side of the family are all Polish and practicing catholics. Every Christmas eve all the men would go to midnight mass, returning in the early hours extremely drunk. So I'm not too sure what went down there really lol.

Jehovas witnesses believe that Christianity is wrong in regards to the time of jesus christs death, and hold their memorial in April. I think it's just called "the memorial of Christ's death". Another difference is that, unlike Catholicism and Christianity I think, not everyone consumes the holy communion (wine and waffers) at this memorial service. Only a select few "elders" get to do it. They believe that there's only space in heaven for 144,000 chosen ones to help god rule over everything when the world is destroyed. Everyone else who is a good jehovas witness gets to go to "paradise" when judgement day comes, which is basically earth but with no death, pain, or suffering, no greed or jealousy, no disease etc... taking us back to the perfect humans we once we're before Adam and Eve munched the forbidden fruit.
That's another issue I have with this model. When "judgement day" arrives will the entire universe bee destroyed? With the millions of galaxy's containing billions and billions of solar systems, life must exist somewhere else. The sheer size of the universe suggests planets that contain life could exists in thousands. Is god taking all of them out too? Did he create them as well? You'd think there'd be some mention of other human type species or even space in general in the bible. Anyway, sorry for going on a bit.

 

[AutoTripper]

This is the main reason I stopped believing in a higher power, I saw no evidence of their existence. The older I got the more I realised how horrible life could be for some people. What God would allow such suffering, leaving innocent children to die in the most horrific ways imaginable?... You wouldn't watch a defenceless child being attacked on the street and do nothing to help, god does that hundreds if not thousands of times a day. If they want people to have faith and believe in their existence I'm going to need more than blind faith and a 1500 year old book thats been rewriten and altered no end of times.

And no, that's Catholicism I think. My dad's side of the family are all Polish and practicing catholics. Every Christmas eve all the men would go to midnight mass, returning in the early hours extremely drunk. So I'm not too sure what went down there really lol.

Jehovas witnesses believe that Christianity is wrong in regards to the time of jesus christs death, and hold their memorial in April. I think it's just called "the memorial of Christ's death". Another difference is that, unlike Catholicism and Christianity I think, not everyone consumes the holy communion (wine and waffers) at this memorial service. Only a select few "elders" get to do it. They believe that there's only space in heaven for 144,000 chosen ones to help god rule over everything when the world is destroyed. Everyone else who is a good jehovas witness gets to go to "paradise" when judgement day comes, which is basically earth but with no death, pain, or suffering, no greed or jealousy, no disease etc... taking us back to the perfect humans we once we're before Adam and Eve munched the forbidden fruit.
That's another issue I have with this model. When "judgement day" arrives will the entire universe bee destroyed? With the millions of galaxy's containing billions and billions of solar systems, life must exist somewhere else. The sheer size of the universe suggests planets that contain life could exists in thousands. Is god taking all of them out too? Did he create them as well? You'd think there'd be some mention of other human type species or even space in general in the bible. Anyway, sorry for going on a bit.

Ahh, sorry, slow me after heavy prolonged LSD use if that absolves me lol...that edplains it. I forgot anout the whole (ridiculous "us and them"?) discrepancy about the birth date and ceremony dates.

I also could cite plenty of Bible quotes, ideologies etc which I cannot fathom sense out of.

I never ruled out the Bible, or certain aspects being true, if not the full original version.

That to me is just keeping my mind as open as I can.

But I don't subscribe to it, or anything in particular. I wish we knew more.

You did not go on by the way mate. I enjoyed reading all of your thoughts and embarassing experience lol! Thanks for sharing and take care.

 

[Ismene2]

Being kicked out of a house party because I was having loud sex in the bathroom with a friend. Apparently I left my underwear and skirt there. I must have gotten taxi practically naked. Ashamed because I blacked out and remember nothing about it and had to be told by multiple people. To this day one of the hosts still looks at me funny and I have no idea what I did other than what I’ve been told but I have an inkling something else happened that my friends didn’t tell me.

Do you suspect he had a crafty look at your monkey?

 

[Ismene2]

I think it's Dawkins who mentioned it but what about that wasp that lays it's eggs in a caterpillar and then the larvae eat their way out through it's arsehole? That's the work of some benevolent power? Sounds like a cunts trick to me.

 

[MsDiz]

Do you suspect he had a crafty look at your monkey?

Actually asked a friend yesterday about this particular incident. Apparently it was not as bad as I remembered. I did put some tights on before leaving the property. Lucky I’m not 23 again eh!

 

[Ganjcat]

you and your mate know the only reason your hanging out with him is to get a daily sorter which most days I do small price to pay compared to what other people have to do for drugs he deleted it now but I remember (edit) a member in his younger days said he knew these rich creeps who would give him half a gram and all he had to do for that half a gram was strip naked and let 10 or more men cum and piss on him and he had to be all horny and pretend to enjoy it fucking shit like that s why I'm quitting I don't think I would ever be that desperate but still I don't get on with the guy but I don't half pity him

 

[MsDiz]

you and your mate know the only reason your hanging out with him is to get a daily sorter which most days I do small price to pay compared to what other people have to do for drugs he deleted it now but I remember (edit) a member in his younger days said he knew these rich creeps who would give him half a gram and all he had to do for that half a gram was strip naked and let 10 or more men cum and piss on him and he had to be all horny and pretend to enjoy it fucking shit like that s why I'm quitting I don't think I would ever be that desperate but still I don't get on with the guy but I don't half pity him

Yeah this is rural Ireland, the worst of it was the guy was married.

 

[Ganjcat]

Yeah this is rural Ireland, the worst of it was the guy was married.

Eh? Whoes married who now?

 

[MsDiz]

Eh? Whoes married who now?

Exactly.

 

[bingey]

prolly when i took bromazepam before injecting dope and my pants kept falling down or so I was told a couple days later

 

[jhjhsdi]

Busting open my smackhead mates sin bin to get his dirty needle out just for 1 hit of K last night is pretty high up there now, now that I'm sober and really thought about it. He used to have hep aswel.

The most worrying thing is, like alot of drug behavior, once you've crossed that line once, it becomes 'the norm' or at least way easier to cross again

 

[Ganjcat]

selling my psp Selling my ps4 selling my laptop selling my computer not being able to go in the shop with my mum because I don't want her to know I'm banned for shoplifting never getting anyone a decent Christmas or birthday present begging for a week or so I've got to many to count and some of them I couldn't even say