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Your First Love

know that feeling after a speed binge when your coming down, and you have no money and your 10 miles from home and its pissing cold rain and your sore and have blisters and your still huge pupils are being hit by headlights and your head is pounding, and then the depression hits?

thats how I feel when I think of my first love and having ran a course of action that means I will likely never speak to her again.
 
My first love is my current love. We're both 20 years old and met probably almost 4 or so years ago now and have been dating for a little over a year of that time. We'd been best friends for all those years, and we'd both had a crush on each other since we first met one another through a mutual friend in high school. He though was dating this (bitchy, may I add) girl all those years (who was his first love), and I ended up dating his best friend for almost 2 years who was a complete fucking loser; I wasted so much time of my life being with him, I regret it completely. But now I'm finally with the one guy I've been waiting 4 years to be with, and I couldn't be happier. Being in love is truly a wonderful experience and I can't see myself being with anyone else but him... my first true love.
 
I was head-over-heels in love with this girl in high school (but she went to a different school). It was incredible, unbelievable, better than heroin. It was so effortless, and easy, and perfect.

Then she broke up with me. I drove to her house, returned her things, and I never spoke to her again.

I spiraled into the darkest, deepest depression. I stopped sleeping, stopped eating, and, feeling suicidal, I was given a short tour of the CIU and psychiatric hospital.

Eventually, some eight months later, I "got over it." I grew a manly-ass beard and womanized for a good couple of years, bitter at all women for one young woman's breaking my heart.

The funny thing is that, six years later, I still haven't spoken to the girl. It's better that way. I would have nothing to say to her; we're worlds apart, I'm sure.
 
I asked my first love out 6 years and 4 days ago lol how times have changed, I guess I'm grateful for the times we had, she put me through a lot of pain when we broke up but I guess it's just part of life.
 
My first husband.
I was 17. I chose him over my family, got disowned, had to leave him after his schizophrenia became out of control, long story skipped, he ended up on AMW and died in prison in 2004.
I can sure pick em. Ha.
 
What's up Pheonix,

I met my first love in eighth grade, we talked a little bit and I ended up walking her home after school that day and met her parents. Things clicked and I asked her out a week later. We stayed together for about two and a half years and then I found out she cheated on me with a coworker. Me being weak stayed with her, she was balling her eyes out and apologizing and I thought it was sincere (I think it was, but for the wrong reasons). We stayed together for another two and half years and within the last six months of the relationship I completely moved on. I was over it and done with her not trusting me even though I had never done anything to make her think I was cheating.

Pros: I learned things I could and could not put up with in a relationship. Realized what I wanted in someone else (someone who's loyal and outspoken, passionate and comfortable about their sexuality, not overly insecure with their body).

Cons: Put myself on hold for the five years. Made mistakes (I guess positive and negative).

All in all, when it's all said and done I don't regret being with her the whole time, but I do regret closing myself off to appease her at certain points in our relationship. Lol, when I look at the relationship after typing this it makes me laugh. It seems so negative, but I did have some great memories. Either way it was all a learning experience.

True love is hard to come by, but when it does you will know,

-djstrip
 
i've dated a few guys here and there before my first really serious relationship. he was a wonderful person. it was a (very) long distance relationship, but most of the time i really thought we would make it till the very end. somewhere in the middle things got messed up because we were in different stages in our lives and put too much expectations on each other andended up letting each other down. then he went travelling and our constant point of contact was lessened tremendously and he met people out there, and i met someone too. by that point we had already drifted so far apart it was unfixable. we are still good friends and it has been five years, but i still think of him and our time together extremely fondly and will be super happy if i ever get to see him again. he admitted to cheating on me before he went travelling, but will you believe it - my memories of our time together and the way our souls bonded was so wonderful that that hardly mattered and didn't change the way i thought about him - except that he was really lost and confused.

all i can say is to give it your best shot - you never know if you never try. don't let people tell you that first loves or long distances don't work out - just because it didn't for them doesn't mean it won't for you. i'm very much a romantic at heart. the trick about long distances is constant communication (i know it's hard for you at this point, but i'm thinking more along the lines of never to let your minds wander off on a tangent before discussing things), and most important of all, never to have too high expectations as that can add pressure. remember that love and dating is all about the experience! my only regret is that i wish i had lived in the moment more and appreciated more about the times i spent with him instead of worrying myself sick about the completely unforseeable future.
 
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