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Your First Love

she phoenix

she phoenix

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
1,039
Location
Aberystwyth
What was your first ever experience of love like? How long did it last, or did you make it work? I am so in love with my boyfriend, my first and hopefully only ever love. Occasionally I worry because looking around me, very few people ever stay with their first loves but then again I'm sure many do. Also, being in a medium-distance relationship is hard for me, and though luckily we aren't thousands of miles away from each other and get to see each other every fortnight or so, it's still very upsetting because we used to live together and see each other every day. He's staying somewhere in the wilds of Wales in a caravan with no internet and terrible phone signal so communication is not as easy as I'd like. So I guess I'm asking for anecdotes on two subjects - your first love and how it went and whether you have ever been in a long (or medium for that matter) distance relationship.
 
I'm yet to experience my first love. Good luck with yours!
 
Excellent question.

My first love was my boyfriend in high school. We were together about two years. We were quite innocent, it was nice. We had the same car at the time, which made for epic hilarity with the parents (who didn't care - we are only children with divorced fathers)

He's now an investment banker in Miami, married (not to me) and with a baby.

We loved each other deeply. We met at a debate tournament. I won. He thought I was cute. I had the same car in the same color, which was also strange. It went from there. I like that it was innocent and I wish him and his wife and child the best. <3
 
Yeah I dated this guy in high school. Dated for almost three years. Met through mutual friends. I ended up breaking up with him for another guy (I still have yet to figure out how I managed to do that considering I am so scared of change) but it was the best decision I ever made :p. I realized that he was actually a terrible boyfriend. I guess he is a decent person, but seriously, terrible boyfriend. Oh, and all of "my friends" ditched me for him and I ended up pretty much friendless (yes, even the friends who met him through me). So glad I'm with my boyfriend now though, I couldn't feel better about how things worked out. A couple of the friends who ditched me have contacted me (over a year later) so see what's going on, so that's kinda cool. I guess they just wanted to "fit in" with the crowd. Whatever. As for the ex, hasn't dated again, although I don't really care.

As for long distance, well right now I only see my boyfriend once every week or two which isn't really "long distance" but still we want to see each other more! lol. We see an end to it (May) so it is okay :p. Only for a few more months! :)
 
You know, I'd like to think that I have, but I'm not sure if I've ever truly experienced true, unconditional love for a companion. I've always been weary of feeling vulnerable [insert typical broken home scenario]. So I've put some guards up over the years that I know shouldn't be there, but it's always hard to break habit.

To diverge from whatever that is, my first love was a beautiful girl out in California that I escaped from monotony to. Very easy-going and free spirit; compassionate and understanding, always seeing the very best in people. When we had the free time, we did some amazing things that I thought I would never do. I really thought that I was going to be with her for a really long time. Our undoing can be contributed to our ultimate differences in how we see the world, my anxiety and often anti-social behavior which led me to really crave the feeling of old friends and family. I left.

I still talk to her fairly frequently and she seems to have found someone that matches her much better than I did. I feel fortunate though, because even though I couldn't love her like I wanted, I know she will always be around to talk to. Definitely one of my favorite people ever.
 
Kevin someone was my first love or at least the first boy I said I love you to. I was in 10th grade. I think we might have been together a year and a half. You would think I would recall his last name.
 
My first love was probably the person I will love the most in my life. I've yet to meet someone I've loved more. We met in middle school and stayed together until the beginning of sophomore year in high school. We were together for 2-3 years. I know that sounds dumb, most people would think kids that "young" don't know what they're doing right? Wrong. One of the best relationships I've ever had. It ended badly because I was too stubborn to take him back. He was very good to me and I was just a stubborn bitch. He was such a good person and extremely good looking too. I think I was just insecure because everyone thought he was too attractive for me, including myself.

After him, I was in a 7 year relationship (until recently) and it's been up and down. I know my most recent ex-boyfriend loves me (in his own way) but I don't think he could ever love me the way the first one did. I've learned a lot from my past relationships, and I'm at the point where I just want to be loved as much as I love. Recently, over the last year I've been talking to an old XBOX friend online. I've never done the online relationship thing so it really worries me, but since the first guy he's been the kindest person to me. I don't deserve him really. Hopefully it works out but who knows what the future holds. I thought my first love would never end but it did, and he will always be the one who got away. I still dream about that one, which really sucks because I can't control it (damn Tempur-Pedic beds and REM sleep).
 
My first love was 11th grade, but he was such a loser. He had a lot when I first met him, but he became more and more into drugs and the last straw was when he stole from his own sister to pawn her TV for weed. He stole 50 hits of acid from me that I purchased and we were going to sell together. He stole from my sister, my mom, and his parents to buy weed. I didn't believe it until it came out about his sister and he and his brother fought on their parent's front lawn over him becoming a total loser.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was in jail or fucked over the wrong guy and is dead now. His name was Eric with a common Spanish last name, so I don't know if I could ever find him to see how he is doing. I'm so glad I didn't get pregnant or move in with him. I made dumb mistakes, but I'm guessing his weed use saved me from being a teen mom, and being poor we couldn't move in together. Thank god.

I ran into him about 5 years after we broke up when I was doing well and was engaged. He never kept a job longer than a week, so thank god when we ran into each other, it was at my work building, but after about a week, he disappeared. He told me what he always told people: he had a ton of money and was living on Miami Beach. God, he was such a loser. lol I'm so glad my teenage stupidity didn't lead to some really bad shit with him.
 
long distance played a huge role in my first love.
i met him when i was 16, he was 19 and in the army...stationed in georgia some where i cant remember now. we met each other through a friend of mine who had also joined. he brought him back on a vacation day and we instantly became full throttle, teenage love festers. writing letters with perfume, him giving me his dog tags to wear around my neck, flowers, etc..
he was discharged and two months later i was in a group home. while there we still wrote letters and had fantasies of what we would do when we were finally able to be with each other, thinking the whole time we were meant to be in some cosmic love universe with candy houses on sugarfritz lane.
at 17 i was emancipated and we moved in together. things were ok for a little while but after the initial exciting love fest subsided and it came down to really knowing the other person...it was terrible. we fought constantly and brought the worst possible characteristics out of each other. turns out talking on the phone and writing letters gave little in the means of getting to know someone. not to mention the complete naive way i went about things as a teenager.
ha we laugh about it now
jesus we were the exact opposite of a happy, healthy relationship
 
lol Slushy, yeah, I've moved in too fast with people too. Thank god I've never given up my place for anyone, because I can just go back to my own place, but shit, you really don't know someone until you share a bedroom. Sheesh.
 
Freshmen year in high school, dated a girl named Ally. I was a year older then her, 15 and 14.

When I was 18 and she was 17, we took a break, and started thinking of college.

We ended up going to the same University, myself one year before her. We stayed together until I was 21 and she was 20. We both had our fair share of college bullshit that contributed to it breaking.

So... we dated for about 6 consecutive years.

To this day, it was one of the most beautiful, dark, and twisted things I have ever involved myself in. I both miss the relationship and thank God everyday I have a much more mellow lady friend in my life right now. I'm happy to say I lived a long-term relationship during a time in a persons life where hormones are both unpredictable and unexplainable... and now that they have stabilized... I'm just kinda swingin' my own game. Funny how that works.


Lysis said:
but I'm guessing his weed use saved me from being a teen mom
Click to expand...

I wish to all things holy that weed was a contraceptive device.
 
Doesn't weed lower sperm count? I know I've read that before, but I can't remember where. I think I always thought that's why I never got pregnant with him, because I was not very good at taking the pill. I was responsible and got it when we started having sex, but I'd skip 2-3 days, have sex with him unprotected and then take it later. I was so lucky nothing happened. He once said to me "We should have a baby." I don't know what he was thinking and although I was a naive teenager, I was at least smart enough not to let it happen.
 
nahh, that's just a rumor... Kinda like those "This is your Brain on Drugs" commercials, or acid burning holes in your head.

There have been studies to show it actually increases sperm count :/ You were just lucky or his swimmers were just not very Darwinian.

My lady friend used to miss her pill about once or twice a month, and we'd continue to have unprotected sex. I'm still babyless, so, I'm going to assume the pill still delivers enough estrogen or whatever hormone even if not taken properly (not that i'd ever advise that for any reason)

Congratulations to you too, for not having a child as a teenager. Lord knows I was close.
 
Yeah, I've had scares too. You don't really think it'll happen to you until the scare is staring you in the face and you have to wait a couple minutes for the test results. lol

Good to know it is just a rumor. He must have had bad swimmers, which is good for me and good for any other girl he dated after me.
 
It's actually a lot harder to get pregnant (statistically for most women) then people think. It's not always a sperm problem. It's just the odds of your egg releasing at EXACTLY the right time is very slim. Those freak stories you hear where women get preggo after their first sexual encounter are exactly that, freak stories.
 
Well damn, dudes. You are making me feel even more lucky. It's been 15ish years since we dated, and I'm just so happy I didn't let anything happen after I grew up. He was such a loser.
 
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