You...

[doofqueen]

Well after my 1st poem post raz asked me to post up more of my stuff so here is just a little shoirt one

tell me what u think and what u feel when u read it

----------------------------------

You

the light
the stars
the sun is u...
i feel so loud
free to be
with u
with me
with u
now now now
but not tommorow
lost in thoughts
of u....

 

[Raz]

Maybe it's the "u" instead of "you" but I can really see this as an old-school Prince song.

It's got a lot of happiness and vibrancy and energy to it...nice one chicken!

--Raz--

 

[Shoelace]

Short but sweet as!
Love it. Smile material fo sho.

-Peace

 

[doofqueen]

thanks guys i was really estatic when i wrote it (and on acid hehehe) i wrote it in about 2 mins...its exactly what my head thought and when i read it back to myself i realised it was EXACTLY what i meant It's when i realised i had something really special with someone (who i just had a 1st date with the night before) and i thought i was in love and he was 'the one'

 

[doofqueen]

oh also i remember when i read it to him he said "wow i can't believe you just put how i feel about you into words" i thought that was really cool that he actually connected to my poetry and felt the same about me

 

[doofqueen]

old poem - just wanted a fresh perspective if there is any

 

[(Wordy)]

I love this line, and the context it slips into:

i feel so loud

I can definitely see the Prince thing too!

It's when i realised i had something really special with someone (who i just had a 1st date with the night before) and i thought i was in love and he was 'the one'

Wow, talk about poetry springing from intensity, especially considering you were on acid when you wrote it!

when i read it to him he said "wow i can't believe you just put how i feel about you into words" i thought that was really cool that he actually connected to my poetry and felt the same about me

One of the many ways in which poetry can be powerful, but probably the most beautiful way. Believe me, I know exactly how that feels...

 

[doofqueen]

oh thankyou. I love when my poetry is understood and clear cos i sometimes wonder

What prince song are we talking about here by the way?

 

[(Wordy)]

I don't know about Raz, but I'm not really thinking of any Prince song in particular... I think he was just talking about the use of "u" as opposed to "you".
So just a stylistic thing really.

A song like U Got the Look probably gives you the idea.

 

[doofqueen]

thats roxette isnt it? hehe

 

[(Wordy)]

Two different songs. There's the Roxette song (The Look), but Prince did a song with Sheena Easton called U Got the Look. It's on the Sign 'O' The Times double album.

 

[doofqueen]

ahhh i see