you

[starlightgemini]

this poem is really long, but i have a LOT on my mind--yet i still can't make sense of anything. i don't even think i *like* what i've written, but i was just trying, in someway, to at least get some thoughts on paper.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i can't possibly imagine
the thoughts in your head
everytime i think i know who you are
you become someone else
you accuse me of the same
but yet--you take one look at me
and read my mind, heart, and soul
the way i feel is never a secret
i wish i could ask you
what do you see in my eyes tonight?
tell me, please
its the only way i'll ever know
how it is i'm feeling right now
the whirlwind of emotions
that once filled my heart
has somehow escaped
unknown to me
so please tell me,
what lies in my heart now?
lying on the bed with you
i felt a million miles away
and i could look down at us from above
but it was so blurry
all i could see clearly
was the frown on my face
i stared blankly at the tv
i was too afraid to look at you
too afraid to see your face
and to realize all that was missing
the way you looked at me tonight
made me want to run outside
so i couldn't have the chance to realize
that everything is gone
its gone
isn't this when my heart starts to break?
isn't this when i start to cry?
isn't this when i beg you to stay?
maybe i would, if i had any idea
how i want things to be
even though you haven't said goodbye
i saw it in your eyes
i felt it in your touch
i tasted it with my lips
and i stay silent
because i know how you hate
when i let my emotions speak
while you sit there and just listen
and keep all your words inside
or yell at me for letting mine out
i just want to close my eyes
live in the memory of when
i knew i was special to you
in so many ways
and i felt worthwhile, and wanted
i felt like i deserved
to smile
i know you expect me
to say "we need to talk"
and you'll roll your eyes
take in a deep breath
and sit there
silently
as i open my mouth
and forget the words
just like i always do
but not this time
i can't talk about
the emotions i can't understand
and i don't want to
i'll simply wait until
you look at me and see
nothing lies in my heart right now
but now i look at you
and i see in your eyes
that you think i'll always be here
wanting nothing but to be with you
and maybe right now i don't know
what it is i want
but something has got to change
to make you realize
i'm not afraid to walk away from you
but i am afraid to stay
~*~kristen~*~

 

[Shuddr2Think]

but something has got to change
to make you realize
i'm not afraid to walk away from you
but i am afraid to stay
woah. i hate that feeling of not knowing how to deal. you def. get what you are feeling out in this one...its real great...

 

[liquidocean]

I feel you.

 

[Angelight]

lovely.

 

[E-girl]

i almost couldn't even finish this... it broke my heart, because it reminded me too much of my own life

the way you looked at me tonight
made me want to run outside
so i couldn't have the chance to realize
that everything is gone
*wipes a tear away*

even though you haven't said goodbye
i saw it in your eyes
9 months ago justin said to me, while standing on my porch in my pj's with my hair in a bun and tears in my eyes (yes i remember it vividly)...
"I'll come back. I just need to work things out in my life."
and he never did come back.
a couple weeks ago, i had the chance to ask him why... and he said to me, through tears, "I dont know. I fucked up."
i dont think he'll ever know why, or ever tell me... but i guess he just knew in his heart that something wasn't right. maybe we are still meant to be together, just not now.

i just want to close my eyes
live in the memory of when
i knew i was special to you
yeah, me too.
i hope you find the strength to get you through this. we are all here for you sweetie....
*holds out a friendly hand*