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(you said)

vurtomatic

vurtomatic

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 14, 2001
Messages
2,927
Location
New York
(you said) I (there was us but now it’s)
just (you, and me)
(you) don’t feel (lead heavy dark closed)
anything and (you said) I don't (I do)
want (you? I thought I did)
to do anything (but we had everything)
(that first time we fell) remotely
physical (touch/stroke/kiss/hold/love [no])
with you (and forever ended
with a sentence).
 
i was going to say the words seem like they are tumbling down, like the end of a relationship, but they are too well placed. I kind of read an anxiety into this, wanting more than there is. You never cease to amaze!
 
I think this one took some real talent to write,, I love i can read it three differnent ways and it all means the same. great post,, this is one of my favorites. :)
 
Astounding work, so well crafted, and as cherub pointed out I read it many times, differnet ways, but it all comes down to the same thing. The emotion, its so charged and reads like thoughts, anxious and rushed thoughts like chaos, like destruction. Definetly one of your best, an awesome example of your talent.
 
This is how i feel at the moment. I wonder how it is possible that two people who have never met can seem to be feeling the same accute emotions at the exact same time?

As always, astounding...
 
^ definitely - the style doesn't detract at all from the words, and enhances them if anything. i love the layers, and like cherub said, how it's following different routes to get to the same place....

i loved it! :)
 
As has been said (but I'm going to say it again in my own way), you've proved in this poem (and elsewhere) that you're able to marry form and feeling... and in most of your work, this seems effortless.

This poem presents as if it's a closely observed stream of thought, a play of emotional spaces, a field of boundaries drawn and crossed.

Well done vurt. :)
 
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