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You might be an alcoholic if..

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tantric said:
A guy I dated would put a full glass full of vodka on his bedstand so he could have it when he woke up. Trying to get him to stop I once took his keys and left - he called a cab to get to the liquor store. Went to a froufrou seafood restaurant and ordered raw oysters - and ate them with straight vodka. That was the night be promised would be the best in my life, a real date. After he passed out in the hotel, I took his credit card, went to malwart and bought a new netbook. When he woke up the next day, I was busily wiping its brain and installing Linux. I showed it to him and told him what I'd done. He said, "Why'd you buy that junk? I don't buy cheap shit". Had to love him a bit for that.

At one point I made him buy me a bottle of Strega (saffron liquor) - I boiled out the alcohol and made some incredible hard candy.
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Did he tell you you could use his card whenever? Sounds like you were taking advantage of the guy from the way you tell it...
 
you might been an alcoholic if

you look like shit and a friend asks "you have too much to drink last night?" then you say no not enough and it isnt a joke

when you wake up with the shakes and cant decide if its lack of alcohol, temazepam, klonopin or a mixture of the 3

if when you first get your drivers license (over 2 years ago) and decide that you should practice driving drunk so youll be good at it once your older, so you have a 12 pack of heineken 5mg of klonopin (this is also around the time i started getting steady benzo scripts still do) go to gamestop, hit a fox and not know until you see the fur on your car the next morning.

your continuing to drink on a benzo taper because alcohol is the only thing that can numb the pain of being alone

your friends tell you not to drink too much at this party cause the girl you like is gonna be there so you decide to have only 2 beers. when you get there you have had 5 drinks within an hour mostly through a beer bong so your already fucked up before she gets there, realize she was leading you on like she does every other guy she talks to. she also snapchats a pic of you to her friend that you were in classes with first semester the friend recognizes you and says what you were doing at that time (morphine,fentanyl) so you get more fucked up because you didnt want her or any co-workers to find out about your past, and drop a shock top that gets on her friend then lose a bag of weed. this was my 4th of July

when you drink powerade and vodka everynight and justify it by saying "well i sweat a shitload at work so this should even out your electrolytes"

when you have mastered the art of knowing what gaba acting drug and how much you'll need that night so you wont be on stand with the shakes in the morning
edit- you might be an alcoholic if your dad asks why your shaking so bad and you just give him the look and he knows cause hes been doing the same minus benzos since before you were born.

half your coffee is spilled before you can go downstairs for your morning cigarette cause you cant hold the cup steady

the moment alcohol touches your lips your plans of "pacing yourself" go right out the window
 
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You grab two beers out of the fridge instead of one cause you know damn well the first one will go too quick, and why get up more than you have to?
 
PerfectDisguise said:
You grab two beers out of the fridge instead of one cause you know damn well the first one will go too quick, and why get up more than you have to?
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and if its cans dont forget to open both at the exact same time. you can drink twice as much w/o people hearing 2 cans crack open.

you might be an alcoholic if you have done the above
 
PerfectDisguise said:
You grab two beers out of the fridge instead of one cause you know damn well the first one will go too quick, and why get up more than you have to?
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good idea! pillman with the extra protip!

and yeah bd that is how i celebrated a two day break. with about a dozen shots, maybe more.
 
You might be an alcoholic if you dance zeimpekiko (a greek dance) naked it your yard while the temperature is zero.
When you can't wait for the meat to be ready and eat it almost raw.

When you rob a guy on the street just because it would be fun (and next day you feel awfull of guilt)
When you text a girl you hardly give a shit about when sober, and feel that you wanna die if she doesn't text back.
When you say anyone around you that you love him, even if you hardly know him.
When, when, when...
 
You're an alcoholic if you've waken up at 5 am in alcohol withdrawal, and poured in your mouth the last drops of beer from all of the 80 empty beer cans in your apartment, desperately trying to get even a tiny bit of alcohol in your body to be able to tolerate the wait until you can go to the store to buy some more beer.
 
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