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You might be a tweaker if...

Your baby mama wakes up to find you in the living room crouched at the window, naked, with a steak knife in one hand and a bat in the other.

I could cover the peephole with a piece of tape and ruin your whole night.

Your dealer's gf thinks her breast implants contain surveillance equipment.

You kinda like prison for the rest from the pressures of daily life.

When you "party" you sit around all night not saying shit, and shhhh anyone else who tries to.

You live in a roach motel. Or a van.

Your pants sag off your ass, not intentionally.

You stay up all night watching porn playing with yourself and it doesn't get hard, once.

The cops follow you all the way across town but, strangely enough, you don't get pulled over.

Lame.
 
You might be a tweaker if you've started but never finished cutting your neighbor's
grass, with no clear pattern, at 3am, in the winter.

You might be a tweaker if you keep a flashlight with you at all times.
 
I have never used crystal meth and I don't want to but I was reading a true crime book and this woman in it acted like a tweaker when she abused crack here's basically what she did:

Stayed up for a few days abusing a stimulant, thought that every single car that passed by her apt was the police and that they were going to bust her, loaded up all of her drugs and everything into a car, drove very fast to another state, arrived in the other state and thought "oh fuck, the police here know I'm fucked!" and then proceeded to drive back to the state she was from very fast, this attracted the attention of the state police in both states, and they tried pulling her over and she just sped away fast and dumped all of her drugs and everything in the car, so they set up a tack strip at the state border which she just drove around on the highway median, then the state police fired at her car, and she wound up hitting another tack strip and being arrested.
 
You might be a tweaker if you're currently alone at 3:00am spinning a pyrex thinking "Damn didn't you start using adderall 2 years ago for school work?" Now where are you? Shitty looking in the mirror... Fast forward and repeat the same scenario only now you're using needles thinking back to the Pyrex...
 
You might be a tweaker if you drive your lifted pickup truck into a residential street, pull out while hitting your glass pipe, see a random stranger walking along the sidewalk, then get paranoid and think that they're onto you so you pretend to be nice and offer them a ride when you really want to try to rob them, but they refuse and you wonder why as you drive away.

I have never used crystal meth and I don't want to. But I was walking home the other day and I saw some guy do what I posted about, and I did not get in his truck.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
You might be a tweaker if you drive your lifted pickup truck into a residential street, pull out while hitting your glass pipe, see a random stranger walking along the sidewalk, then get paranoid and think that they're onto you so you pretend to be nice and offer them a ride when you really want to try to rob them, but they refuse and you wonder why as you drive away.

I have never used crystal meth and I don't want to. But I was walking home the other day and I saw some guy do what I posted about, and I did not get in his truck.
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Now, Fatty, he's a hell of a guy but he sweats like a dancing mule
He likes to hang out at Checker Gas with the Chets he knew from high school
He sold enough crystal meth to buy a stepside truck
But if you ask me twice I'd say the boy ain't worth a...
 
You might be a tweaker if you do shard, then proceed to draw anime chicks out of different mangas for the following 15 hours, awkwardly hunched over drawing on your lap on folders and cramped on a couch, even though a perfectly fine table sits directly in front of you, about 5 inches away. Then when you finally stop drawing to eat or drink something your neck hurts like a bitch, and remains that way for a few days.

LOL, man I tell ya......
 
battleofevermore said:
if you make lists of lists and go over each letter with your pen twice to ensure perfect hand writing
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Ha!! The only time id write letters to my friends in the pen was when I was tweakin and my hand writing was so PERFECT. Meth would make me write for hours in the smallest most perfect penmanship. I miss those day of the good ol asshole burnin, cougher shots
 
tweex said:
Now, Fatty, he's a hell of a guy but he sweats like a dancing mule
He likes to hang out at Checker Gas with the Chets he knew from high school
He sold enough crystal meth to buy a stepside truck
But if you ask me twice I'd say the boy ain't worth a...
Click to expand...

You might be a tweeker- If sweatiness makes you horny, well darlin' I think you're in luck
Cause all this clever banter
Gives me the urge to.....
Something.

If after 24-48 hours awake you start to see ever elusive wisps of smoke emanating just outside your field of view. You turn to gaze upon them and.... They're gone!
48-72 hours and those "people" start showing up in the apartment. Just out of your field of view! You turn to look and they're gone!
But, they are there. Make no fuckin mistake, you fucking twackheads, they are there. And they want your soul.

Meth is fun.
 
whynaught said:
you might be a tweeker if you hold a cop and your family and children hostage because you're psychotic on meth and plead insanity.
Click to expand...

Can't do that in this state anymore since they have added "abuse of illicit or unauthorized substances" to the drunk clause that prevents defense attorneys from using intoxication with such substances to claim temporary insanity.

You may be a tweeker if:

You shampoo your cat and dog then shampoo your dog 7 more times attempting to make its coat as soft as the cat's.
 
YMBATI...

You have thoroughly reviewed the content of tweaker.org (a website for gay male users) and given serious thought to composing a meaningful contribution to said website - even though you're straight, and a girl.

You feel slightly self-conscious about your excessive activity on Facebook, because there's always that friend who sees you online there at 3am on a Tuesday and somehow knows exactly what you're doing.

You actually like going around with that tweakeriffic friend on her late-night dumpster diving and curb shopping extravaganzas, but resent the way she picks out all the "best stuff" for herself first.
,
You spend hours disassembling jewelry, small electronics, and other defenseless items with your needle-nose pliers, using the resulting junk to construct odd little "art" projects that appear profoundly meaningful to you at the time, while browsing wikiHow articles about furnishing one's apartment entirely with corrugated cardboard or making a pineapple out of spoons.
 
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Your constantly with people you don't like just to smoke their crys

You've had an oil burner in every different color.

You've made a speed bong

You've been up so long you get used to shadow people

You're afraid of cleaning things "too" good for fear of people getting suspicious

You've blown a cloud the size of a minivan
 
You see a spider in your bathroom, and spend 5 minutes freaking out trying to get all the damned spiders off of you.

You get 4 hours of sleep and consider yourself well rested enough to stay up another 2 days.

You're so concerned with hygiene that you fuck up your gums by brushing your teeth too hard (4+ times a day).

Every post you make on BL is edited a half-dozen times, because you want to phrase things perfectly.
 
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