You know you're drunk when...

[euphoria]

you give a long, drawn out, emotional speech to your neighbor and then start crying. then go home and pass out before your food is done heating in the microwave.

 

[JV]

When you goto your s/o family reunion and get trashed and start showing your tits to his entire famliy "wanna see my boobs??, theyre pretty..no wait theyre HOT!!'
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This happened to me a few weeks when I went to my bf family reunion, I got piss drunk and started walking around showin my tits to everyone...lets just say they will never for get me

you should post your tits randomly on bl when you get drunk like that!

 

[amor fati]

when you throw up in the bathroom, walk across the hall to where a girl is passed out on the bed, pass out next to her then wake up, pee on her and then continue to drink (what i was told)

 

[The_Idler]

were you the girl?

 

[Pshaaw]

When you listen to someone who tells you that the room will stop spinning if you put your foot on the floor..

and there you are.. practically stomping your foot.. and the damn spinning DOES NOT stop!!

 

[Jabberwocky]

When you wake up still in front of your computer with your jeans round your ankles, your cock in your hand and some seriously fucked up porn playing over and over again on the PC.

 

[DarthMom]

....when you piss on your new boyfriends aunts floor after the wedding you traveled 10 hours to see.

and you know your guy really likes you when he cleans it up and stays with you.

 

[Animal Mother]

You know you're drunk when you ADMIT TO MURDERING SOMEBODY.

Not me. Somebody else.

 

[Bella Figura]

feel like you'll amount to nothing in this world where you can barely relate to anyone or feel part of anything.

 

[fizzle]

When you empty your bank account from all the online shopping, buying things that "looked totally cool" at the time...

 

[Hayze]

When you can't remember your password, and it's your name.

When you buy cigarettes and start chainsmoking, even though you don't usually smoke.

You know you were drunk if you walked 4 miles drunk, then those same 4 miles sober 2 days later and you don't remember it taking that long.

When you seem to be magically transported a few miles away and a few miles into the future but have no recollection of actually walking that distance.

When you walk down the street, happen to glance at your watch, and notice it's 1 1/2 hours later than the last time, even though you've walked probably ony 5 blocks.

When you go to CVS because...just because...and you don't need anything.

 

[johanneschimpo]

you know you're drunk:

When you wake up still in front of your computer with your jeans round your ankles, someone else's cock in your hand and some seriously fucked up porn playing over and over again on the PC.

and you might also be gay

 

[Beochslapper]

You try to kick your own door down at 4:00 AM because you can't find the keys you just threw across the neighborhood because you were pissed you didn't get laid. And do this without trying the doorbell or knocking, on the night after you pissed all over the kitchen floor and woke up with sharpie on 90% of your skin. Yes, my roomate is a certified alcoholic.

 

[Insekta]

When you fall in the bathroom and completely kick out the door.

When you get naked and encourage everyone else to.

When you throw up on the ceiling.

When you pee in a public elevator because you can't hold it anymore.

When you go steal your neighbors beers in their garage that they left open because you are out.

When you open the bag of weed (OUTSIDE) and you open it upside down somehow so all the weed falls into the grass.

These have all happened to me many times drunk.

 

[Ximot]

When you vomit into a plastic shopping bag with holes in it and it all drips down onto the floor... when you then proceed to clean it up with an old t-shirt that you spontaneously decide you won't need any more, stuff the whole thing into another plastic bag... and wake up next to all that, on the floor, hours later with a pounding headache and yet more vomit in the sink.

When you wake up ON the bed as opposed to IN the bed, with your shoes still on.

When you wake up in the morning and you have no idea how you got home...

When you wake up in the morning when your cellphone rings and when asked where you are you have to admit that you don't know...

When you wake up and it feels like there's a furry animal living in your mouth and a hoard of elephants trampling inside your head, and you say to yourself: "I'll never drink again!"

Crap drug really, when taken in excess, alcohol is.

 

[Jabberwocky]

johanneschimpo - lol

When you throw up on the ceiling.

Now that I would be proud of. How the fuck do you throw up on a ceiling?

The thing I hate about coming home drunk is making food and then getting into bed to eat it but passing out a second later. You wake up with food smeared all over your face and bed sheets. (do not quote me and change 'food' to 'semen', 'shit', 'blood' or any other substance )

 

[captainballs]

When your expenditures at the bar rapidly rise from $20 to $200 in less than 25 minutes.

 

[ClosetPrep]

...you're laying face down in your friends back yard puking repeating to your friends, "I'm fine just get me to my car I'll be sober once I get behind the wheel."

...you hook up with your best friends recent ex, at a party that you're best friend is at.

...you pass out while holding a bong.

...you lose your pants in your own backyard and don't notice until your friends tell you.

 

[marquee]

When you break your front tooth opening a beer and think it's a "good look".

 

[VerbalTruist]

When you have to pee and you make it to the toilet, but instead because you're so drunk miss and hit your oh say... trashcan/