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you kno ur drunk when..

--you go to the doctor and they start telling you your liver is getting fucked...and you go home and drink 18 beers--on a work day.

-when your wife is questioning the 12-18 pack gone each day of beer, so you refill empties with water and stick them back in the fridge, to throw them out next day

--when a 12-pack aint setting you, before going out, so you bring a flask to the bar, since prices at bars/clubs are too high (shit, they are--9 dollars drinks in nyc)...

--when noon is surely late enough on weekends to begin drinking...

--when you return from your 1-hour drive home from work and need to drink 2-3 beers before you can talk to anyone/answer phone

-when you havent went more than a day w/o a drink in at least 7 years, including periods of serious opiate/oid WDs (ugg, tough news when you are this sick, especially this last couple-week phase--the longest in 8 years)
shit--too many to list...damn alcohol...
 
-you have the uncontrollable urge to sing.

- people forcibly restrain you from singing after the 5 rendition of "bye bye miss american pie".


- your speech is so slurred people in the bar start asking if you are from holland ( irish btw so ?).

- you go in to work at 8.30 am and your hangover arrives at 1 pm
 
more... lol

originally posted by StAy HiGh
Theres a "you kno ur a junkie and u kno ur a stoner when" threads so I figured I would make a "you know ur drunk when..." thread since I am a little drunk at the moment....

*The alcohol dosen't taste bad anymore
* You forgot what and how much you drank and don't really care
* You hope that you remember everything that happened in the morning
* You feel like dancing
* You feel like talking to everyone
* You would kill for a cig
*People who you normally wouldn't get with don't seem as bad anymore
* Walking is a bitch
*You pray you don't have a hangover in the morning

I'm goin 2 bed goodnight... add more if u think of anything

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*When you wake up the next morning and can't even look at any alcohol without feeling sick but then you feel like drinking again the next day (or that night ;) )
*You ask the same question 100 times before you remember the anserw
* You end up at random houses but don't remember how you got there and whose house it is
* You don't remember how or when you got home and hope your parents didn't realize you were drunk
* You forget what a "bad idea" is
*You wake up the next morning, try to remember what happened, and pray u didn't do anything too embaressing lol
 
When your key to the car wont start.

When the last thing you remember from the last two days is waking up.

When you have more alcohol than coffee to "cure" your hangover from the night before.

When you go to try to find the bathroom, somehow end up outside. Then you decide its a good time for 1 or 2 or 6 cigs. then forget that you had to go to the bathroom.
 
Cant step more than 2 steps without loosing something or crashing into a 30ft. ditch(happened to me).

I have a chance to drink some jose cuervo tequila and magarita mix and am debating on weather too or not.
 
-You are looking at the fat girl in the corner, thinking, yeah she's well fit! Then you start turning around to your mates behind you and smiling and pointing back to her saying "haha, she fucking wants me bad!"...You can't understand why your mates are laughing at you!

-You can't understand why your arms aren't working correctly and you keep knocking double vodkas and stellas all over the table.

-You seem to think everybody is your best mate, even that bloke who wants to smack you for starring at his girlfriends tits.

-You think that girl you fancy likes being pinched on the arse and having her boobies being squeezed.
 
you know your a drunk when you refer to daylight savings time as an extra hour to drink.
 
"You know you're drunk when you go to brush something off your shoulder and then realize it's the floor."
- I think I heard some comedian say that
 
You know youre (too) drunk when you try to light a cigarette backwards, I've seen this happen to people on coke occasionally too. Oh yeah, and spitting, you're drunk when you start spitting without a care.
 
When your trying to get the store and avoid cops, so whenever cars roll by everbody hits the deck and yells about "Be like the treee!!"...

When you break the childrens tetherball set in a fit of drunken rage and ninja kicks... Eeek, had to pay for that one the next day...

When you go to pass out in the field, but wake up with a huge (300+ lb!) somoan guy sitting on your back and a crowd of people laughing.

When you think whipping your cock out would be "oh so funny!"

When you start laughing at Will and Grace... You'v had too much booze and you should shoot yourself...

When you start finding the antidepressant commercials as being so emotional and start to feel sad yourself....

When you see your girlfriends ass and try give it a nice slap, only to miss completly and slap her friend in the groin..
 
....you're offered crack and you say "rock is the last thing on my mind right now. Where's my tequilla?" - me on Saturday yaaay!
.......you're whining how hungry you are, beg for food and end up eating a bite and a half
 
MissBehavin'_416 said:
.......you're whining how hungry you are, beg for food and end up eating a bite and a half
Click to expand...

Strangely when I am drunk now it makes me less hungry.

When you get lifted, dropped and break your uncles glass table

When you fall out of an atic (another time I fell out my foot caught the ladder and I was hanging upside down)

When you have just been sick but keep on drinking.

When you and your friends throw darts at eachother.
 
-when you repeatedly try to bum cigarettes from people who don't smoke

-when you try to roll a blunt with only a bowl's amount of weed

-when you whip out your dick and say "somebody's peeeeking" to random girls8o
 
- When you fall down several flights of stairs or over a railing

- When you ask someone where they are from several times in a row

- When you wrestle friends at a concert

- When you puke before you go into concert

- When you watch a friend pee in the house and not care
 
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