Apologies for the self-indulgent poem. This is the story of my meth addiction (Meth is called Tina where I am from). The poem is intended to be read in the tone of "'Twas a Night before Christmas", it makes a very harrowing story a lot more light-hearted.
Thanks for reading, if you do...
PARTS THREE, FOUR AND FIVE TO FOLLOW...
Thanks for reading, if you do...
- PART ONE -
This tale is a warning, about a vice and its woe,
Of the lesson I learnt, and the ones yet to know.
See, the end is unwritten, might be my final farewell,
To the good and the bad, to the heaven and hell.
But the tale should be told, and so I’ll commence,
I’ll be open and honest and try not cause offence.
I’ll be open and honest and try not cause offence.
The whole story started less than eighteen months ago,
With me overweight, out-of-shape and my self-esteem low.
With me overweight, out-of-shape and my self-esteem low.
I was awkward and sad but was so sick of my lot,
I’d work out to get thin; it was no novel plot.
But this time I did it. Lost the kilos: twenty-three,
An aesthetic success! But a shock lay waiting for me.
I’d work out to get thin; it was no novel plot.
But this time I did it. Lost the kilos: twenty-three,
An aesthetic success! But a shock lay waiting for me.
What I discovered to my horror, when the fat had all gone,
It wasn’t why I’d been unhappy, I’d been mistaken all along.
It wasn’t why I’d been unhappy, I’d been mistaken all along.
When you can’t blame the depression on the layers of fat.
Scapegoat’s gone, veil’s been lifted – now its time to face facts.
Scapegoat’s gone, veil’s been lifted – now its time to face facts.
I had hated myself. For which, there’s no easy cure.
But I'd never have guessed what I was about to endure.
But I'd never have guessed what I was about to endure.
- PART TWO -
My grim realisation was not as clear as it is now
It’s taken time and reflection to solve the why and how
It’s taken time and reflection to solve the why and how
So superficial I was that the weight-loss pleased me,
My new body confidence brought me much glee.
My new body confidence brought me much glee.
It took a short step in learning that when building your self-worth up,
Needn't do it yourself, if others will do it - you're in luck.
Needn't do it yourself, if others will do it - you're in luck.
The more notches you make, the more of them like you,
Each stamp of approval means you’re worth something too.
Each stamp of approval means you’re worth something too.
But this trick doesn’t work, it’s short shrift at best,
Such validation’s unstable and needs constant redress
Such validation’s unstable and needs constant redress
All that matters in this system is that they want you,
No connection required, don't need your desire too.
No connection required, don't need your desire too.
Soon I became an object, a thing merely of which you approve,
Such validation is addictive, not before long it consumes you.
This game is never over, the self-worth is never won,
For approval this fleeting, this shallow has soon gone.
Such validation is addictive, not before long it consumes you.
This game is never over, the self-worth is never won,
For approval this fleeting, this shallow has soon gone.
Your entire self-worth crashes right down to the ground,
By one mild-mannered rejection, a snide comment or frown.
By one mild-mannered rejection, a snide comment or frown.
It soon left me quite hollow, couldn’t have liked myself less,
How could finding some comfort possibly worsen this mess?
How could finding some comfort possibly worsen this mess?
But hand in hand with this issue - there's a darker reveal,
A vice with such danger, it barely seems real.
A vice with such danger, it barely seems real.
PARTS THREE, FOUR AND FIVE TO FOLLOW...
