- PART FIVE -
I was lost before I met her and even before that,
Had not a shred of self-worth, not even a scrap.
It was taken from me, before I even knew,
I was made to believe that somehow I needed you.
Tried so hard to fit in, to obey all of the rules,
To alter myself so I'd be liked by you fools.
I eroded away at the person I could've been.
By tempering myself down, so what's real was unseen.
All of my focus, time, energy were spent,
Playing the role you wanted and the 'real' part just went.
When I finally stopped caring about your version of me,
There was nothing else left there, no person to be.
So I died long ago, certainly anything worth saving.
That person isn't real, don't you? The one that you’re craving.
It was all a smart act, a ruse, a charade.
I played the part well, t'was unwittingly hard.
The impersonation laid on, worked more than it should,
Since it made all you like me more than I ever could.
How dare you remark callously on my final act?!
You have said quite enough haven't you, as a matter of fact.
The blame must be pointed at one of us, three.
One must be the culprit but is it You, I or She?
I know who I'd bet on, let's not dwell on that,
Firing guilt at each other, won't take it all back.
Tina's portion of blame is a catalyst's share,
Can't find her guilty if I kick away the chair.
It's funny that now's the time that I find,
The root of the problem was not me or my mind.
No solution to be gleaned, can't go back to the past.
Only the future left ahead and I’m not sure I’ll last.
Not giving up yet, I won’t just accept such a fate,
With some luck and some willing, it won't be too late...