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Yip I am a newbie going clean once again

DirtyPaw

DirtyPaw

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2013
Messages
11
Location
Basehor, Kansas
Got myself addicted to opiates big time and now getting clean. I've been clean one month today this time around this rodeo. I did have 30 years of sobriety until I was prescribed pain meds after several operations. Tolerance built up on me even with 360 oxy's and 120 10-325 hydro's prescribed monthly. I should of known better but my addiction ruled so I through away 30 years of hard earned of sobriety, what a dumb shit I was... 8(

Blessings,

Rick aka DirtyPaw
 
Welcome to bL. Just look for the positive, that you went 30 years. One slip up isn't the infinite setback that it's often made out to be. It is what it is, just try to view what's going on now in a positive light, you're already a month back in the right direction.

If you feel some moral support would be helpful, I highly recommend The Dark Side. Never have I seen such a genuine and caring group of people.

Best wishes with staying clean, and any questions at all, feel free to ask. :)
 
I am cool with the whole deal and can't really complain cause I don't have any other horrible issues like some of the members have related in their posts.
 
Hi I have been on methadone for about 5yrs I only got up to 75mg and got down to 30mg. However my body would matabolize any less than that and it would not hold for 24hrs. I have decided to quit taking the methadone. I am currently on day 10 of no methadone (thanks to this website) I have tried this many times and by day three-five I just cant bare it anymore (I am a huge wimp when I get sick. and an asshole) This has been the easiest detox I have ever done so far (meaning the ten days). I am worried I still have a long way to go because I used 50-100mg of loperamide the first five days. I had a seziure on day five because I ran out of my benzo script the day before. So day six was a blurr in the hospital (they gave me saline and the most ativan they can give, so the nurse said). I got home and saw that my kratom came in. day seven I took three doses of six gram bali powder (I mixed it with pudding as that is the only way I could stomach it and not taste it at all) and 20 mg lope. today I plan on 3 doses of 5 grams kratom and 15 mg lope. Should I stop the lope? Stop the kratom? Taper both? Also do I have a long way to go for the acute wd and can you tell the difference between acute wd and paws? Thanks in advance. Peace and love always.
 
congratulations DIRTYPAW=D

@TRYINGTOKICKIT.. way to start taking the inevitable path.. I kicked a huge habbit, IMO.. in august .. I don't know exactly how the lope or kratom effects the acute withdraw.. but in order to truly kick I know that all the the substances capable of binding with your neural opiate receptors must be gone and then in three and a half or less days the initial miracle will happen.. then from that point on you will start and continue to feel better and better.. extra opiate receptors you have will turn off a few months down the road, 4.5 for me and pain dr said brain should be almost completely unclouded by 7.5.. clonidine works wonders for acute withdraw off opiates as well as Benzos, talk with a health care professional but i believe that clonidine will help prevent seizures associated with that withdraw as I believe it is used for this purpose in alcohol and benzo withdraw, other wise I believe that Librium can work for that as well. Other BLiters familiar with Kratoms half life as well as lopes effects on length of acute should be easy to find. Best wishes.
 
Thank you I will check into the clonidine as I dont have insurance but have friends that are doctors though. I cant find any specific dosages to detox from methadone to loperamide to kratom. If anyone has a schedule that worked for them as I have heard acute withdraw can last a month with methadone. I think more like two weeks and I am close to that. YAY! One small step for me one giant leap for the rest of my life. Thank you soooo much neversickanymore peple like you really inspire me.
 
Welcome to the site! I just joined myself. Good Luck!! Would love to know what you are doing to stay clean! Did you get your white chip today? :)
 
No I dont do A.A., N.A. or any A because I still think I am not powerless over my addiction. I know I have an addiction so I am doing the necessary (most) percautions to get clean, not hurt myself, painlessly and handle house, work, kids, girlfriend (that I dont think wants to be with me anymore). lol if I fail I will definately take up the program (again) though! Actually I am going to a meeting tomorrow night because I made a promise to a good friend that has a lot of clean time but has relapsed more than anyone I know personally (it is his first time being chairmen). I LOVE that the program works for many people but I feel they want you to hit rock bottom and surrender your life. I am very hard headed and just think I will be fine with music and a quick taper. I will deffinately let you know how this goes for me I have been taking as prescribed for over three years I prey I dont screw myself because after my doctor asked if I was addicted I said of course I am addicted you have been giving me methadone for five years when I knew he wanted me to say no(I didnt think he was stupid). Anyhow I am going to get off all this shit I hate to love(benzos and opiates).I like the people on this site and this is new and different to post my words on the web for the world to see and I really find this theraputic so I think I will be around for awhile................
 
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Well today was the hardest so far. I took a little lope like 10 mg because after my 7 gram kratom dose I still felt pretty shitty. I hope my order shows up tomorrow because I think the loperamide is prolonging my w/d. I want to be on kratom and kratom alone. I think I can kick a kratom habbit alot easier than this methadone. I could not taper my methadone anymore because it just did not hold. I feel like I have been in w/d at least once a day for a couple years. I am so sick of being sick! This is why have not had more than a month clean because I am weak and go back to any opiate to get some relief.
 
This is crazy nuts!! I am detoxing from methadone and I feel GRRRREAT!

=DThis is crazy nuts!! I am detoxing from methadone and I feel Awesome! Today is 12 days no methadone, I thought this was going to be the worst day and it was until I took my lyrica now became the best day. I have 1 withdrawal symptom shakey and that is normal me:\ . I took 5 grams bali three times, two doses of DXM OTC, Xanax 1mg twice (thats my next kick:?), 100mg theanine twice, drank grapefruit juice, and the thing that really brought me back was the Lyrica. I did smoke some weed I got from Jamaica...HMM around the same as the Lyrica and usually I get real bad anxiety when I smoke some herb? I think tomorrow I will try not to take kratom...<3 EDIT Damnit I took that 10mg of loperamide in the morning. I wish I did not take that for I dont think it was needed.
 
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30 years thats a good run,you did it once you can do it again,i am on day 9 of no opiates was up to 4-5 cotin 80's a day and when i would run out it would be what ever i could get my hands on. I just told my wife of my 4 year secret just on here looking for some freinds.
 
I think I am just going to try to stick with this lyrica for a few days because I woke up and feel like I took some acid. I like this feeling (probably not good). my anxiety is high but I dont mind it other than the shakes. I was high as a kite last night because I took way to many different things. Really I think the only stupid thing I did is drink that grapefruit juice. I do feel a very mild withdrawal as I want to though because I will remember the downside of opiates.
 
Sending positive thoughts and feelings to all my brothers and sisters who are together in the struggle of life over chemical dependency. Like tryingtokickit said it is very difficult for most of us to "admit powerlessness" over our addiction because we equate that with weakness. I've been struggling with opiate/benzo addiction since I was probably 16 years old (now 24) and I finally have put together about six months of total sobriety and although it is a TRIP sometimes and very difficult I find that if I look at it as a new and exciting experience (just like I viewed drug use when I first started) it makes the whole ordeal much more palatable to my appetite.
 
maniquan said:
Sending positive thoughts and feelings to all my brothers and sisters who are together in the struggle of life over chemical dependency. Like tryingtokickit said it is very difficult for most of us to "admit powerlessness" over our addiction because we equate that with weakness. I've been struggling with opiate/benzo addiction since I was probably 16 years old (now 24) and I finally have put together about six months of total sobriety and although it is a TRIP sometimes and very difficult I find that if I look at it as a new and exciting experience (just like I viewed drug use when I first started) it makes the whole ordeal much more palatable to my appetite.
Click to expand...

I did give in and have been going to meetings the last couple days. I now know that I am powerless over this addiction. I am having such a hard time with this because I have been taking everything as prescribed for over 2yrs methadone and xanax (I know the worst right) the methadone was not holding so I told my doctor not to give me it anymore. I did not think it would be this hard. I am 30 and cant remember the last time I cried now thats all I do. My kids are watching me go through this and what kind of parent can I be right now. I make/made myself sick so why do they have to pay. I try to hide it but they know I just really hate myself right now. Enough self pitty.... Congrates on 6 months. When I finally get some sleep thats what I am going to dream about (6 months from now). Are you still having PAWS?
 
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