Cosmic Mist
Bluelighter
Suddenly I find myself not feeling so well. The world is turning, and I turn with it, merely another player in this obscene game that is without a beginning or end. What is it that drives us to these ends, to this sincerely complicated existence that makes no sense at all? How do we survive under these conditions? Why do we expect so much and give so little in return?
Well walk the paths of our own discontent unaware of things as the pass before our eyes. The people in the street become memories before we even register their existence, and the people around us float like butterflies through our lives, fluttering in and out of our vision like leaves falling from the trees in the autumn time. We pass brief, beautiful moments with them; laughing, crying, expressing our emotions and finding ones we didn't even know we had. But then the world turns and our friends become anonymous as they had been to begin with - the cycle begins again.
This is but a sad scene played by a fool who clings too tightly to the past and refuses to understand the future. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of power and fury, but in the end signifying nothing, and coming to even less. For once it would be nice for things to be different, for them to work. I would like to think that the world would turn, and for once I could turn with it, instead of always against it and the way that things must be. But I cannot help but desire that which I shouldn't, despite the fact that that something will only further the discontentment more.
I cannot help but feel played for a fool - I should have known that this would happen. I should have seen it coming. I feel so fucking stupid. If this was life's way of testing me, then I failed. I get an 'F', and I'm going home with the supplementary prize.
And let's face it, I never meant that much did I? At the end of the day, when all is said and done, we all know the truth. Why is it that the truth makes for such sad and lonely company? Why is it that the things you want don't make you happy, and they things that should make you happy are not the things you want? Why does the world turn the way it does? Why do people act and react the way they do? Nothing really makes sense to me any more. This is nothing but a bad dream, and when I awake I will be in Australia, with a warm body lying beside me, wondering what really happened. I know I don't know the full story - as I am now implicated it would be nice to know, but I won't hold my breath waiting for it because that would be a slow and painful death. Instead I will just float along, like a butterfly from flower to flower, and find myself in another place again, with friends new and old. The world will turn, and we will all turn with it, growing and changing, becoming more or less like ourselves as time goes on.
I will sit in the Lemon Tree, as it seems I always end up doing, watching people spinning endlessly without a cause, and I will wonder what the fuck actually happened? I will put it down as one of life's little learning experiences, and I will eventually move on.
But I will always think of those few moments of intimacy where everything seemed so good, where everything seemed so real, and I will smile. I will look past all the barriers put in place to keep people out, into those eyes and I will see that same thing that I saw that night, and it will make me happy the way it did then...
...and I will know that that happiness, however brief, was worth it.
Well walk the paths of our own discontent unaware of things as the pass before our eyes. The people in the street become memories before we even register their existence, and the people around us float like butterflies through our lives, fluttering in and out of our vision like leaves falling from the trees in the autumn time. We pass brief, beautiful moments with them; laughing, crying, expressing our emotions and finding ones we didn't even know we had. But then the world turns and our friends become anonymous as they had been to begin with - the cycle begins again.
This is but a sad scene played by a fool who clings too tightly to the past and refuses to understand the future. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of power and fury, but in the end signifying nothing, and coming to even less. For once it would be nice for things to be different, for them to work. I would like to think that the world would turn, and for once I could turn with it, instead of always against it and the way that things must be. But I cannot help but desire that which I shouldn't, despite the fact that that something will only further the discontentment more.
I cannot help but feel played for a fool - I should have known that this would happen. I should have seen it coming. I feel so fucking stupid. If this was life's way of testing me, then I failed. I get an 'F', and I'm going home with the supplementary prize.
And let's face it, I never meant that much did I? At the end of the day, when all is said and done, we all know the truth. Why is it that the truth makes for such sad and lonely company? Why is it that the things you want don't make you happy, and they things that should make you happy are not the things you want? Why does the world turn the way it does? Why do people act and react the way they do? Nothing really makes sense to me any more. This is nothing but a bad dream, and when I awake I will be in Australia, with a warm body lying beside me, wondering what really happened. I know I don't know the full story - as I am now implicated it would be nice to know, but I won't hold my breath waiting for it because that would be a slow and painful death. Instead I will just float along, like a butterfly from flower to flower, and find myself in another place again, with friends new and old. The world will turn, and we will all turn with it, growing and changing, becoming more or less like ourselves as time goes on.
I will sit in the Lemon Tree, as it seems I always end up doing, watching people spinning endlessly without a cause, and I will wonder what the fuck actually happened? I will put it down as one of life's little learning experiences, and I will eventually move on.
But I will always think of those few moments of intimacy where everything seemed so good, where everything seemed so real, and I will smile. I will look past all the barriers put in place to keep people out, into those eyes and I will see that same thing that I saw that night, and it will make me happy the way it did then...
...and I will know that that happiness, however brief, was worth it.
