Yay or nay - is it possible to be a weekend warrior long term with hard stuff?

[Jnowhere]

I am not jealous at all. I have all I need and I am happy with what I have.

Was it you who warned others about bladder damage due to ketamine abuse, if so I certainly hope it gets better. Seriously, I think it was you and I looked into it because you warned people a long time back. I now know not to get ketamine. Thank you.

Rich and apparently rather unhappy doesn't make me jealous in the least and I not poor.

Did you tell on me, because I recently got a warning that I would get In trouble next time, and then you pulled the people are jealous of my money thing, post as I checking my DM's. From this thread and then you posted

So you told on me and hoped I would say something to get into trouble. Nope, but nice try. So it was a coincidence that I get warned and then you try to bait into saying or actually writing something that you think will trigger me to go off.

Your money doesn't impress me. Nor does your arrogance towards others who may not have as much as you. You are right and proof that money doesn't buy happiness.

You are right we all are sinners but repentance is quite important, that and faith in Christ. Laugh and ridicule my beliefs all you want.

Unlike you I will not NARC on anyone because they were being mean or whatever it was that triggered you. I don't get mad like that or try to set people up.

Also why are you so obsessed with me? I just remember things because my head was clear. You are different but still the same.

Also I don't buy that there are no primary care doctors in your 4 million person area. That is about as big an area as mine. Cali. Healthcare I thought was good?

 

[shabih]

You are acting like dying people shouldn't get pain relief

he is saying the third world countries dont deserve first aid, and the first world countries like usa should be providing heavy narcotics to dying patients so they can die quicker

 

[Halif2]

The way I see it is that the terms "weekend warrior", "long-term" and "hard stuff" are not well defined here, and this ambiguity will almost always lead to "debate" or the illusion of same.

I probably didn't phrase the question as well as I could've. seeing as how that "debate"(or delusion thereof) is what I was interested in reading.

But if you have had a heroin problem before, I'd say you shouldn't even try that before having several years clean at least..

And this ties into my purpose for making this thread. I've had problems with a bunch of different opiates/opioids before. The issue could be described as me liking opiates a bit too much. Over three decades I've had a bunch of cycles of sobriety becoming occasional use becoming full dependency. Once I reach sobriety, it generally takes me a good while before I become fully addicted again. I'll often manage semi-regular use (like 2 to 4 times per month) for 4 to eight months. So my own history suggests that I cannot use on occasion without it eventually becoming a habit and then a dependency. However, I find it very difficult to live sober long-term without feeling a kind of emptiness. I'm lucky to have pretty good circumstances ( great immediate family and wonderful wife, reasonable job, and have lived a decently full or interesting life), so I don't consider this emptiness to be circumstantial.

Yes it is. I've done it.

So have quite a number of users I have interviewed for research over the years.

In your experience (both first- and second-hand), do you believe that some people have this capacity to overcome and live well while others do not? Or can it be taught/fostered?


My situation is probably different from many on here in that I made a conscious decision to step into full-blown addiction. Like lots of people here on BL, I had used a whole variety of drugs well before I ever became properly addicted. I was a bit of a seeker - looking for absolute truth, meaning, and answers to questions - and I was more a user of psychedelics than of anything more recreational (although I'd still sometimes enjoy getting smashed / wasted / hammered on alcohol, weed, or LSD).

The emptiness grew along with my age and, despite good developments happening in life, I became more miserable. A codeine CWE one random day started it all. I had a histamine reaction and got nauseated enough to puke, but that experience was unlike anything before: I felt calm and a sense of inner (and outer) peace. Although I loved it, I didn't immediately try (or want) to repeat the experience. But I did eventually start repeating it on a regular basis, usually on a Friday evening as a reward. Then it was Fridays and Saturdays and then Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. By that point I was almost spending half of my time in 'that place' and half out, and I found that I was obsessing over when I could next use on the off days. I was still using codeine but also PST and occasional oxy. I knew that I was psychologically addicted, and sort of half addicted physically, too. I made the decision to jump in fully.

Now many years have passed, and despite there being some periods of sobriety (including a full 12 month period), I have mostly been a daily user for all that time.

I am now being compelled by outside forces (and inner ones) to quit using, and I am just trying to get a sense of whether I'll ever live sober and well.

Thanks for everyone's contributions. It's all interesting and lots of it is valuable, too.

 

[chippermonk]

Hey Chippermonk!!

Your username was part of the reason I made this thread, so it's good to get the thumbs up approval.

I hope you weigh in because I think I read somewhere that you are a part-time user? A chipper? I'm not sure what thread it was but I was reflecting on my situation and I saw a comment from you and then I just started thinking about the whole chipping concept.

Oh, hey @Halif2 I'm sorry I didn't notice this message until now. I read your first post but I hadn't commented because I didn't think I met your criteria because I have never had a real habit with anything. I have tried many various drugs over many years, and liked them to various degrees ( opioids, crack, coke, meth, etc) I just never really took any of them that much. Even drinking, I drink almost everyday but usually just one beer for years now
I like being high and I think if things had gone differently in my 20s maybe I might have developed a habit but all my friends stopped doing it, I lost any sources I had, my job had drug testing, I had family obligations, etc. so it was always just once in awhile. Even drinking wasn't ever heavy
In recent years I've started getting high more often ( kratom mostly but also other stuff, but I just do it once or twice a week and sometimes go without for weeks at times) I guess I'm older and more mature ( boring?) and out of the danger zone where I would be more inclined to get high more. I still don't have friends to get high with or sources so that makes it easier to chip.
I DO feel the urge and sometimes it's a battle, because I get pretty depressed and drugs do make me feel better. I want to feel high! But I also always know that if I do more often then I'm going to have consequences I don't want.
I'm sorry I don't have any helpful answers. I guess I'd say having healthy connections with sober people, non-drug interests and hobbies helps a person get high less often ( though being depressed sure the hell doesn't). The same sort of things that help you get clean. We all need our highs of some sort For me exercise, hiking, nature is a big high. It really is great for me. For you it might be something else
But going from having habits to chipping seems hard.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Weekend warrior. "Casual" user. A now and then thing. Enjoying it but not having it take over. Is this actually possible? Has anyone ever done it?

I'm talking about hard shit here. Heroin specifically but it could be coke or meth or benzos or alcohol.

Let's say there is this guy - not me obviously - who is ageing and has a long history (over 15 years) of opiate addiction (actually chemical dependency, is what it is). And this guy was compelled by certain events in his personal life to quit "for good". He's "quit" a dozen times but generally always returns to daily abuse and dependence. He says he knows it's essentially ruining his life and health but he cannot face the concept of never touching an opiate again. This guy is a pretty regular dude who does not at all give off hardcore addict vibes. He works full-time and has for many years. He does all the right things by society and minds his own.

Sobriety? OK. It's hard but I can see it. But swearing off forever? Total, never ever again, not even a little sniff type of thing? It feels like the walls are closing in just thinking about it .. I mean, that's what he told me it feels like.

So obviously I have not managed to do it and, from track record (pun intended haha IV heroin) probably never will. It will have to be on or off.

Has anyone done it? And I particularly am referring to those who have been heavily addicted to their DOC before at least once, not those folks who can do this and that once or twice and call it a day without issue.

No.

 

[chippermonk]

I probably didn't phrase the question as well as I could've. seeing as how that "debate"(or delusion thereof) is what I was interested in reading.



And this ties into my purpose for making this thread. I've had problems with a bunch of different opiates/opioids before. The issue could be described as me liking opiates a bit too much. Over three decades I've had a bunch of cycles of sobriety becoming occasional use becoming full dependency. Once I reach sobriety, it generally takes me a good while before I become fully addicted again. I'll often manage semi-regular use (like 2 to 4 times per month) for 4 to eight months. So my own history suggests that I cannot use on occasion without it eventually becoming a habit and then a dependency. However, I find it very difficult to live sober long-term without feeling a kind of emptiness. I'm lucky to have pretty good circumstances ( great immediate family and wonderful wife, reasonable job, and have lived a decently full or interesting life), so I don't consider this emptiness to be circumstantial.



In your experience (both first- and second-hand), do you believe that some people have this capacity to overcome and live well while others do not? Or can it be taught/fostered?


My situation is probably different from many on here in that I made a conscious decision to step into full-blown addiction. Like lots of people here on BL, I had used a whole variety of drugs well before I ever became properly addicted. I was a bit of a seeker - looking for absolute truth, meaning, and answers to questions - and I was more a user of psychedelics than of anything more recreational (although I'd still sometimes enjoy getting smashed / wasted / hammered on alcohol, weed, or LSD).

The emptiness grew along with my age and, despite good developments happening in life, I became more miserable. A codeine CWE one random day started it all. I had a histamine reaction and got nauseated enough to puke, but that experience was unlike anything before: I felt calm and a sense of inner (and outer) peace. Although I loved it, I didn't immediately try (or want) to repeat the experience. But I did eventually start repeating it on a regular basis, usually on a Friday evening as a reward. Then it was Fridays and Saturdays and then Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. By that point I was almost spending half of my time in 'that place' and half out, and I found that I was obsessing over when I could next use on the off days. I was still using codeine but also PST and occasional oxy. I knew that I was psychologically addicted, and sort of half addicted physically, too. I made the decision to jump in fully.

Now many years have passed, and despite there being some periods of sobriety (including a full 12 month period), I have mostly been a daily user for all that time.

I am now being compelled by outside forces (and inner ones) to quit using, and I am just trying to get a sense of whether I'll ever live sober and well.

Thanks for everyone's contributions. It's all interesting and lots of it is valuable, too.

It's interesting, I think your story is a lot like mine except that I never went into addiction. I don't know what the difference is. I do feel that being addicted once primes your brain to more easily get addicted again. So maybe the answer to your question for yourself is no?
As I said, I've been chipping for years, but my frequency has gone up over the last couple years, mostly low dose kratom. By all definitions it's still at chipping levels, but I feel more desire and craving, and it's sometimes a struggle for me. Honestly, that's disturbing and irritating. I'm constantly calculating when I did it last, when I can do it again. I feel at danger of it becoming more of a habit than I think is good for me. So I'm not sure chipping is working so well for me

 

[Halif2]

I'm sorry I don't have any helpful answers.

Don't be sorry -nobody has answers for things like these. We can just share our experiences and thoughts.

I feel like the obvious answer to my question is no. As in, a person who's had issues with a substance cannot get clean and sober, and then stick to occasional use. It may be delusional, "addict's brain" talk.

However, even just allowing myself the thought that I can perhaps one day use again makes the difference between attempting to detox and not even bothering to try in the first place. Seeing as how I've been using fairly heavily for the last 15 years, I have not much to lose by just giving it (a detox) a go

 

[chippermonk]

Don't be sorry -nobody has answers for things like these. We can just share our experiences and thoughts.

I feel like the obvious answer to my question is no. As in, a person who's had issues with a substance cannot get clean and sober, and then stick to occasional use. It may be delusional, "addict's brain" talk.

However, even just allowing myself the thought that I can perhaps one day use again makes the difference between attempting to detox and not even bothering to try in the first place. Seeing as how I've been using fairly heavily for the last 15 years, I have not much to lose by just giving it (a detox) a go

Good point. But don't give up on the idea of your neurotransmitters healing with abstinence, or of finding other ways to attain what you are trying to do with drugs.
In any case, you know that what you have been doing isn't working for you, so this is the positive step forward
Good luck!

 

[Dr. John Thackery]

Also I don't buy that there are no primary care doctors in your 4 million person area. Cali healthcare i thought was good?

that’s not at all what i said.


i said that there are no primary care doctors practicing privately, not under the ownership of a major corporate medical provider. there are indeed primary care doctors but they are employees of giant corporate providers, not privately owned businesses.


you see how that’s different from not having primary care doctors whatsoever right? my statement said that we have them, but they all just work for a large corporate provider.

i even went on to talk about my primary care doctor - how could I if we didn’t have any of them existing?



where did i say californians healthcare was good? you’re confused again. i never said that.
- i said that for profit healthcare is bad - which last i checked, is how california still operates.

you’re making up imaginary arguments again just like you started this off by accusing me of saying that hospice patients don’t deserve pain releif - which i never said anything of the sort.

you’re imagining things were said or happened that aren’t consistent with reality.