So there is always mention on BL about one Benzodiazepine or another, and given the last 6 months of my life i thought i'd post a warning on one of them, Xanax or Alprazolam as its chemically known.
I first tried this drug after a night of taking Ecstasy to aid sleep and help the come down. I immediately loved it, it was euphoric, sedating and made me absolutely care free. I abused it on and off for 3-4 years, not knowing at the time i was self medicating a pre-existing anxiety disorder. I knew the addiction potential, and also knew the risks in abrupt abstinence but took the risks anyway with no real issues that i could notice. It made me angry, and near psychotic when i'd run out. I can't count the amount of holes ive had to patch in my room as a result of Xanax induced rage.
After the anxiety diagnosis i was put on Xanax foolishly by my doctor, through much persuasion by me admittedly. Slowly my dependance and tolerance went higher and higher, to the point where i could eat 50x2mg bars and still be coherent. I would run out and COMPLETELY flip out, smashing things, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol as it also acts on the GABA system so it was the only respite i had if i couldn't get any benzo's. I've used almost every drug in the book, and started to use meth alot during this time. I managed to get off meth, a drug some would say is the most addictive out there yet i could not shake Xanax. I would tell my doctor my tolerance was sky high and was prescribed 7x2mg a day. I'd go to other doctors and would regularly have 20-30 bars a night. I was full blown addicted.
After putting my family through torment for 6 months i finally woke up one day and realised how fucked i was. It was time for me to go into detox. I entered a private clinic and was placed on 10mg of Valium 4 times a day as a way to ween me off. Little did they known this was totally insufficient given the dose of Xanax i was coming off, and for the first 2 days i experienced the worst withdrawals i have ever felt. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Body sweats, anger, agitation, visual and auditory disturbances, cramps, blurry vision, my whole body was aching. It was absolute hell.
The moral of this story is to the recreational benzo users out there, or the people who doctor shop and abuse them like i did, the benefits completely disappear when in full blown dependance. I would take 50mg to stop me punching a hole in the wall. No euphoria or sedation. Nothing. Just know that as much fun as they are, they have an extremely dark side, one that i never want to face again. And to add to it, im still on 40mg of Valium a day to taper off, 2 months later and im still tapering down. It will steal a year of your life in a heartbeat. Enjoy them, but moderation is key.
One thing to remember, when i took that first tablet 7 years ago, i never intended to become dependant. So don't think you're immune because i did. Hope this helps some people out there facing similar battles.
Peace
I first tried this drug after a night of taking Ecstasy to aid sleep and help the come down. I immediately loved it, it was euphoric, sedating and made me absolutely care free. I abused it on and off for 3-4 years, not knowing at the time i was self medicating a pre-existing anxiety disorder. I knew the addiction potential, and also knew the risks in abrupt abstinence but took the risks anyway with no real issues that i could notice. It made me angry, and near psychotic when i'd run out. I can't count the amount of holes ive had to patch in my room as a result of Xanax induced rage.
After the anxiety diagnosis i was put on Xanax foolishly by my doctor, through much persuasion by me admittedly. Slowly my dependance and tolerance went higher and higher, to the point where i could eat 50x2mg bars and still be coherent. I would run out and COMPLETELY flip out, smashing things, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol as it also acts on the GABA system so it was the only respite i had if i couldn't get any benzo's. I've used almost every drug in the book, and started to use meth alot during this time. I managed to get off meth, a drug some would say is the most addictive out there yet i could not shake Xanax. I would tell my doctor my tolerance was sky high and was prescribed 7x2mg a day. I'd go to other doctors and would regularly have 20-30 bars a night. I was full blown addicted.
After putting my family through torment for 6 months i finally woke up one day and realised how fucked i was. It was time for me to go into detox. I entered a private clinic and was placed on 10mg of Valium 4 times a day as a way to ween me off. Little did they known this was totally insufficient given the dose of Xanax i was coming off, and for the first 2 days i experienced the worst withdrawals i have ever felt. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Body sweats, anger, agitation, visual and auditory disturbances, cramps, blurry vision, my whole body was aching. It was absolute hell.
The moral of this story is to the recreational benzo users out there, or the people who doctor shop and abuse them like i did, the benefits completely disappear when in full blown dependance. I would take 50mg to stop me punching a hole in the wall. No euphoria or sedation. Nothing. Just know that as much fun as they are, they have an extremely dark side, one that i never want to face again. And to add to it, im still on 40mg of Valium a day to taper off, 2 months later and im still tapering down. It will steal a year of your life in a heartbeat. Enjoy them, but moderation is key.
One thing to remember, when i took that first tablet 7 years ago, i never intended to become dependant. So don't think you're immune because i did. Hope this helps some people out there facing similar battles.
Peace
