Xanax or any benzo

[shay226]

I want some zanies so bad right now. -.- I royally screwed up and took WAY too many my first time and my fiancé noticed and dumped everything (even the booze) down the toilet. :'( I took ten 1mg pills within a night. Yes, yes, I know I'm lucky nothing serious happened. I was stupid. I originally took 2 and then started drinking and everything is gone from there. I started mid-Sunday and woke up Tuesday night. I come from a family of addicts so my fiancé is trying to help. Idk what to do, I wanna get more but I also don't. I also don't know much about benzos so any info is appreciated. I guess I want advice but I also just wanna talk.

 

[AdmiralPharmaGhost]

I've had that same problem a few times. The first time it happened was when I got my first script of temazepam. I made the mistake of going off the benzo equivalence chart; so 20mg of temazepam is equal to 10mg of valium/.5mg of xanax. So I took 90mg which is equal to a bar and 1/4. I had a couple drinks and blacked out. I apparently drove to the store came back and smoked a tiny bit of weed and everything got worse. My girlfriend had to drag me out if the car and after a couple steps I fell asleep while standing and fell on the lawn, which didn't wake me up. Somehow my gf was able to drag me inside. I don't remember any of this. When I finally woke up my hip was bruised, didn't know at the time and when I went into the kitchen I found that I bought almost $100 worth of beef jerky. I guess what happened was after I had a couple drinks I ate a bunch more temazepam. I ended up taking a total of 16 which is 240mg which is equal to 3 bars (6mg xanax) but 3 xanax bars worth of temazepam is way stronger than 3 bars.

As for advice if you want to take xanax or any benzo I'd suggest either taking it without alcohol, or take a couple and hide the bottle somewhere that is a pain to go and find. You could also just pick up a day or twos worth so you can't eat 10 or more. If you really don't want to take xanax then it's better not to pick up any.

 

[mostly-human]

If your first experience was to eat 10mg, then you should probably just stay away.. it's not at all unusual to do what you did, that's basically how they work, in terms of benzo abuse. but if definitely shows you exhibit classic abusive behaviour with this and it's not something you want to fuck with.

 

[Nicholai]

10mgs of xanex is just....FAR too much. I hate to say it, but she may have done you a huge favor. Xan causes so much disinhibition that you could have just kept on drinking, ate more xans, and ended up dead.

 

[shay226]

I took 2 and I had a drink and that's ALL I remember. Then I guess I told my fiancé I took a bunch more and I just kept crying that I was a pathetic druggie and that she should leave me and that I should leave her and that I should just die and it was bad. I've been really craving them and they weren't my pills they were my dogs.....my dog has really bad anxiety so out vet put her on xanax and Valium and Ive been super stressed out and wanted to relax. I'm from a family of addicts and I know it runs in our DNA but for some reason I just wanna keep doing it. She already flat out told me that if I get an addiction she's leaving me. I wanna go see a psychologist but I can't afford one and don't have insurance. I'm in a shitty situation because I know damn well I can just go to the pharmacy and pick up 90 more xanax and stash them and she won't know. UGH. How do I fight the urge to take more?

 

[herbavore]

Look at your life and what you stand to lose for a temporary high that may or may not even be enjoyable. You have a fiance that you obviously care about, you have seen the toll addiction takes on people first hand and you can use this information to talk back to a craving in your own mind. Your small mind will always want comfort especially if it can be gotten easily but your larger mind knows that this is a losing proposition: for a few moments or hours of a good feeling you will suffer long term consequences that are just not worth it. Your family history may make you very vulnerable to addiction but it does not have to be your fate. You will have to work to get habits in place that can help you through cravings.

There are online resources for self-help if you cannot go to a counselor. Many communities have free or low cost counseling for people that are low income. Mood Gym is an online site that might be helpful.

Also, have you tried behavioral conditioning with your dog? It's going to be a temptation having those around. At least give them to your fiance and let her handle giving them to your dog.

 

[maxade]

Your gave your dog Xanax?

 

[shay226]

Thanks, and yes I give my dog xanax. It doesn't even work on her. She's beyond any sort of conditioning or training at this point. She needs someone near her 24/7 or she has a nervous break down. I know of a place that offers free counseling but I think you have to be 302'd to get in.

 

[CosmicG]

Xanax is definitely not anything to mess with. Take it from someone who is dependent on Xanax. I have countless experiences with all types of benzodiazepines identical to the one you have posted, though most of these experiences took place at a young age where I like you was inexperienced and did not realize what I was messing with. These types of drugs are wonderful for treating anxiety, but when taken in recreation nine times out of ten especially when combined with another depressant such as alcohol, blackout and embarassment is almost a guarantee.

Not only that but when abused for extended periods of time tolerance builds rapidly, and if you were to suddenly stop taking them abruptly you risk having a seizure and possibly dying. Take it from someone who is dependent on Xanax and stay away. If you have any fun at all you most likely will not remember, and behaviors like this will only lead you straight into a downward spiral. For me it has become a huge ball and chain. Can't go anywhere or do anything without taking a pill. If you still feel the need to use these drugs for fun even after having had this experience, which I do not recommend but would not judge because I have made similar choices which have lead me to where I am today, then I would suggest taking no more then one milligram at a time in order to take the edge off. Any more then that is asking for trouble.

 

[metta_monkey]

Coming off them can be really naughty. I've used valium (not in massive doses) to be able to sleep after taking opiates or MDMA. But the dread / impending doom / hopelessness you experience stopping, i find 1-2 days after is dark. Obviously it can be very helpful monitored, short term for situations genuinely triggering anxiety / PTSD etc. But clearing the drugs is the easy bit in comparison to the work we must do on ourselves to grow emotionally.

Aside from that your dog mirrors / is a reflection of you. Your feeding it your anxiety, if you can become balanced so will man's best friend. I always check myself if mine's playing up.