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wrong to use girl for sex as she continues to get attacjed?

C

Cid Jester

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 2, 2010
Messages
119
Location
Northern California
So let me break this down as honest as possible.

I got out of prison 3 months ago and of course the first thing on my mind was getting laid. I ended up at my homeboys house to party and he had this new room mate i never met who was rather cute. Well needless to say after a few drinks and some smooth talking by me I ended up having a "sleep over"

Anyways I have continued to have relations with this girl even though when I'm at the pad I'm more focused on drinking/partying and kicking it with the homeboys. Very quick into this whole affair I realized I didn't connect at all with this girl. I'm 24 and shes 22 but acts like shes still in high school. I completely ignore her until I'm shit faced drunk and want to fuck.

I look at it like its an easy lay but she is starting to get real attached. I only come home on the weekends and she doesn't have a phone so its nice I dont have to talk to her during the week and when I'm at the house she lets me do my thing. Her roommates say even the little I attention I do give her makes up for all the time I blow her off. Last week I came home and all my friends said "so whats up with girl telling everyone your her boyfriend" which is not the case. They say when my name gets brought up in conversation that she gets all defensive over me. Also I see her post all this stupid shit on facebook that is a little to serious for what I'm trying to do.

I got a lot on my plate right now and a girlfriend is not on the agenda but a a constant lay when i need it is also nice.

any advice?
 
Be totally honest and direct and tell her everything you said above. Just do it really nicely and make sure she understands you dig her in every way and it's nothing personal. Then stop fucking her even if she says it's okay - at least for a long time. If you can stay friendly with her going forward without messing with her head that's great - otherwise leave her alone. Good luck...
 
I think it's only right you spell out the deal for her. It's the "right" thing to do and at the end of the day, you need to be OK with yourself when you look in the mirror. Bottom-line is, it sounds like you're using her, dispite her weakness for you and if you believe in karma, spell it out and let the chips fall where they will. Consider it a deposit in your "Karma Bank"!
 
Just be honest with her and tell her how you are not looking for a relationship or girlfriend. Tell her that you just want to very, very casually date or that you want a FB/FWB type thing only.
 
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be honest, tell her u just want to fuck..fwb maybe or ditch the chick if shes getting all attached... good luck..
 
HighonLife said:
^^tell her what you just told us

you want something physical and thats it

she might be ok with it

she might not
Click to expand...

Girls will generally agree to these terms and then rationalise that they will win you over (which never happens). She will continue to become further attached unless you break it off now. These things run their course.
 
Honestly: it's so not worth it.

IMO, this girl has crossed boundaries by acting the way she is over you (getting defensive, claiming you're her BF) and it's unacceptable. She's obviously got some self-esteem problems and probably a plethora of other issues.

The constant sex on demand is nice, but the headfuck that will accompany it just makes it more trouble than its worth. Find a more stable and independent girl for a fuck buddy because clingy + casual sex = not-gonna-happen-without-drama.
 
basically you want a fuck buddy and she wants a relationship. this will only end up hurting her as you cannot go from thinking you were in a relationship with someone to being their fuck buddy and be happy with it.

either continue to have her get attached (only for you to ditch her in the future)/ or tell her bluntly shes just a fuck/ or blow her off. in all three scenarios she gets hurt but the timing and degree of hurt is different in each. make your choice
 
I'd say tell her now that you aren't interested. Then find another girl to have as a fuck buddy. There are lots of girls out there.
 
using a girl for sex is wrong but i can't say i haven't done it. wouldn't it be great for them to feel the same way? i've had a lot of those before drugs got in the way. they were awesome. =D
 
I think females prefer using men for their money and/or power.

I know many men that enjoy being used for sex. It is more in alignment with our most base needs and desires.
 
What you are doing is wrong. She's 22 and acts like she's still in high school, you said. She's clearly not very emotionally stable right now and it would be cruel of you to take advantage of her.

And re: the sleeping with people when you know they are attached to you - I did it a lot when I was younger, without really thinking too much of it. Mainly because of the whole "men love to be taken advantage of" idea like some previous posters mentioned - I thought it was ok to step on people's feelings in order to get laid, even when I knew the guys wanted more, because, well, they're men, they can handle it! Well looking back on it now I realise that I did hurt a lot of feelings, and having been on the receiving end of the same thing, I now think I'd rather be celibate for the rest of my life than hurt somebody just because I selfishly want some action.

So just careful, OP. Don't treat others how you wouldn't want to be treated yourself, because you may find yourself on the receiving end one day...
 
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