Wrong School Choice?

[citra]

So basically, I really didn't work as hard as I should have in high school and I ended up only getting into one 'good' college. Incidentally, this happens to be where my parents are making me go.

To be honest, everytime I think about the college that I'm going to in January I start to feel really shitty. I feel like I REALLY don't want to go there. However, I also feel that any alternative option would be worse (staying at home for 2 years and eventually transferring or taking a year off from school). The college that I'm going to is in NY, and I live in California. I love California and I really don't want to go to NY, I think I will be out of place, etc. The January thing also bothers me a lot. The freshman class is made up of around 1000 some people, so it is relatively small.

My question to those of you who have attend(ed) college:
1. Am I overreacting? Would you freak out if you had to move a million miles away from home and friends (and good drugs- not that this should be a factor! lol)?
2. Did your first semester of college make a big difference? Am i screwing myself over by agreeing to start college in January?
3. If you go to a school where there are a lot of locals, do you feel any differently about people who come from farther away? (aka if you were a new yorker around a lot of new yorkers would you treat a california girl a bit differently?)
4. How much does it really matter where you go to school? Are all schools essentially similar?
5. The other thing that bothers me is that I won't really have a home- my parents want me to move out of my room so I'm pretty much going to be 'homeless' in a connotative sense. This may seem immature, but it is a new thing for me. I feel like I'm gonna have a negative emotional overload if I move a million miles away from where I've lived all my life, lose my room/most of my past belongings, drift away from Californians (aka people I'm used to communicating with), etc...If you've ever had to make a transition like this, how did it go for you?

Thanks for any input, this is a big thing for me right now. And hell, I live in one of the best locations- right near Berkeley and San Francisco, great drugs, awesome openminded people, tech geeks, boba- I'm gonna miss it a lot

 

[rashandreflex]

you are asking a lot of questions that are really difficult to answer bc they vary from person to person. for example, i have been going to school across the country from my family since i was fourteen (beginning with prep school through to now, after my sophomore year of college) and i never 'freaked' out about it, but that doesn't mean you are overreacting. some people prefer to stay closer to home.

i would say that starting in january will be a little rockier than starting with the rest of the freshmen, but as long as you go in with a positive attitude and are friendly/outgoing, you will adjust fairly quickly...but again, that has to do with your personality...would it be really hard for you to take the initiative in social situations?

as far as the 'locals' issue, i can't speak for your exact school, but college tends to be a very open place in general. people aren't going to exclude you just bc you are from california...some people may even be more interested in you because of it...and in a class of 1000, you will definitely find people who you like and who like you...it will take some time, though. also, have you looked at the diversity statistics of your school...i doubt everyone is from new york.

lastly, no, not all schools are the same. urban schools are very different from rural ones...big schools are very different from small schools, etc, but even within each of those categories, schools vary a lot. however, i strongly believe that you determine your own fate at college to a large degree...while not every college is the same, you can have a great experience at any college as long as you get involved, take advantage of opportunities, really milk the college for what its worth.

all of that being said, you need to follow your gut. have you visited the new york school? how did it feel to you? why is staying at home so bad? is it really a worse option than going to a school you are not eager to attend? essentially answering this question is going to take a lot of soul searching on your part, and i don't think anyone on this board will be able to give you a sufficient answer. whatever you decide will have its ups and downs, but as i said before, wherever you go, you will play a large part in determining your experience.

oh and two other things...one is that maybe you should speak with your parents about how them taking your room away is making you feel...i don't think it's related to the college thing as much, more of a familial issue...and secondly, practically everywhere you go, you can get drugs, but it may take a bit of time and effort to find connections.

 

[citra]

First off, thanks for your reply. I realize that a lot of the questions I asked were subjective but I wanted to hear about a lot of people's experiences, seeing as how I am not done with the 'soul searching' part yet.

I'm not really freaking out, I just love where I live right now. I have everything right here. And while going to New York may be a positive change, I feel like it will never compare to the location I'm at right now. I guess I can come back here if I'm unsatisfied.

You are right that a positive attitude is essential, but right now I keep seeing everythign in a negative light- I was trying to figure out why and the only thing I could think of was the fact that I will be faced with a lot of change in 4 months or so- and that scares me because everything is just so <i>good</i> here, ya know?

I'm a very outgoing person- however, I remember when I visited the college I didn't really 'click' with anyone- this might be something that adds to my current negative perspective. I think part of the problem was that I was paired up with a chick who was not very social.

It says 55% are out of state, but when I visited it seemed like everyone was local. And by local I mean NJ/MA count as well.

While I may find drugs there, I know that they will be more expensive for sure- Cali has abnormally cheap streeet drug prices. And as for the room, it's a done deal- my parents don't want my siblings to share a room anymore.

Again, thank you for your reply, I think just talking (er- typing) about this stuff makes me feel better about it- I'm starting to remember more from when I visited, and some of the things that I liked yet forgot about. The school is strong academically- however, I'm just scared that the rest of what I'm looking for will not be completely fulfilled.

 

[TheodoreRoosevelt]

Don't follow your gut, that is stupid. If I followed my gut, I would've dropped out of school the first chance I got instead of ranking top of my class, aceing the SAT, and getting into one of the best colleges in my state.

If your getting in January, that means you still have half a year in your state. If your parents are paying for college, and you work until January, or even just this summer, that means that practically all your is going to drugs and miscellaneous crap you want for fun. Cost won't be too much a factor.

Choose good transfer classes - in other words, take the core classes and all other needed classes for the major you are chasing. Reapply at the end of this year / next year, taking core classes like that will be good. It is MUCH easier to transfer to a selective school than it is to go there straight from highschool.

I don't know how it is in the schools your want to go to, but in Virginia, all you need to do is keep a 3.0+ and the core classes and your guarenteed to get in to all the prestigous schools here. If you have a 3.0 or below, you are merely competitive.

You still have time, and more chances. If you still are stuck with this school come January, just tough it out a semester and then transfer a the end of the year.

Call up the schools that appeal to you more and ask how you may transfer or get in, given your current situation.

By the way your fear is misplaced. Don't worry, you'll have lots of fun. It's hard not to have fun in college! You'll be just fine.

 

[rashandreflex]

Don't follow your gut, that is stupid. If I followed my gut, I would've dropped out of school the first chance I got instead of ranking top of my class, aceing the SAT, and getting into one of the best colleges in my state.

^^
your situation is quite unusual. i have not met too many people who have the ability to ace the SAT and rank top in their class but absolutely no natural drive.

anyway, citra, i want to respond again even though i have not much more to add because i can relate to your situation and your anxieties. basically, when i was admitted to a certain college, my parents pressured me very heavily to go there so that my sisters' chance of admission there would be raised (or at least not lessened.) they didn't completely force me, but my mother said she would be disappointed if i didn't go. i had various other good options, but i acquiesced and agreed to attend the school of their choice even though i didn't feel good about it. if it reassures you at all, it has not turned out either amazing or terrible...i would put the experience so far on the positive end. i really believe that college can turn out to be a good experience no matter where you end up (as i said in my first post and TR seconded) so even if you do end up leaving san fran, i am sure that the school in NY has the potential to be a good experience for you as long as you follow the advice i gave in my original post regarding positive attitude, taking advantage of academic/athletic/extracurricular opportunities, getting as involved as possible in the beginning so that you meet a lot of people (much easier said than done, i know...part of the reason i've had issues at my college is because i haven't followed my own advice.8) )

your second post makes it sound like you don't have many options aside from going to this school in NY...that is, your parents wouldn't let you stay at a two year school in CA and then transfer? i guess i have to amend my original position a bit....i really think you should give the NY school a shot (going in with an open mind.) as TR pointed out, transferring is always an option, so even if it's terrible, you won't be stuck there forever. in fact, if you really end up hating NY, then you can transfer back to a school near san fran. nothing is permanent. i understand your desire to be near your friends and drugs, etc, but you typically have to uproot yourself a couple times during your life, and new places bring different good things.

now that i'm thinking about it my sister's situation is somewhat like yours as well...she was not admitted to either of the two schools she wanted (ironically enough one being the one i attended just so that she could be admitted, sigh) and now she is going to a good school (ranked about 30 in the country), but she is very negative about it because she does not consider it good enough. she is already planning to transfer. i bring this up because she seems set on taking this negative attitude to her new school, which i think will be a mistake whether she ends up staying there or transferring. if you are putting together an app to transfer, you want to be able to show how you excelled at your current school.

i guess you, me, and my sister are alike in that we ended up attending/planning to attend schools that we weren't wild about...and i bet there are many others in the same boat...anyone else on this baord who has ended up in this place should chime in as well.

i know you don't want to hear 'just have a good attitude,' 'take your opportunities,' etc (i hate it when people tell me essentially to buck up when i'm upset)...so i'm also just offering sympathy/support. let us know how it all turns out. good luck. oh, and take as much advantage as possible of your remaining months in san fran.

 

[johanneschimpo]

all i can say is the first semester in college is cool. its weird in retrospect. all the people! just chill, let the days go by. thats all i can say. it'll be ok in time.

 

[takinabreak]

All i have to say was that when i started freshman year i only went a place 15 miles from home but i was leaving my BF, my BFF, and everyone in between, like my family. I cried. Iwas soo fuckin scared. I even posted about it on BL here. WELLL turned out my instincts were right. If you dont want to go to college now, you wont want to in 6 months. I dropped out, went to rehab, got out of an abusive relationship, stop doing drugs and went back to the same school.

do i like it any better??

HELL FUCKIN NO!

Im looking to tranfer out of the place ASAP. So if youre not in love with the place when you first go...dont expect miracles.

Good luck sweetie

 

[TheodoreRoosevelt]

As long as you go to some college, your good. Preferably not community college, but if you can actually stick to community college and dedicate yourself (and not lie to yourself about that) than that is good too.

Just remember that all the bullshit won't matter when your rich because you finished college.

 

[dr seuss]

sometimes, when you feel like you're the furthest you've ever been from home, you learn a lot about yourself and what you want from life.

give it a shot. you have very little to lose! rest assured that with the sheer overwhelming force of humanity in somewhere like NY you will be able to meet all sorts of people who you get along with... if you decided not to go, what happens if 10 years down the line you realise it was a mistake?

change needn't be a scary thing. changes in you and changes in your environment sometimes go hand in hand.

for a lot of people going to uni is the first time they've left home, so you'll be in good company. this may seem unsettling for some but it's also a definitive moment in most people's lives. and above all else, although it may be the very last thing on your mind right now, the chance to actually work at university level can also be really exciting and super-rewarding.

 

[protovack]

I'm 24 and I just graduated with my B.S....and I went to three schools to get it!

If there is one thing I've learned in the past few years, it's that you cannot accurately predict the future. You kinda have to get out there and just do a lot of different things, and only then will you start to get a sense of who you are. You may think that you are grown up right now but just wait 4 years

You have your whole college career ahead of you, and how good it is will depend both on your mindset and your surroundings. Definately do NOT do something just because your parents want you to.

As for the transition to college living...don't worry about it too much. You'll get used to it in a few weeks. You can always call your family whenever you want, and you'll meet people on campus as well.

If you go to a school where there are a lot of locals, do you feel any differently about people who come from farther away? (aka if you were a new yorker around a lot of new yorkers would you treat a california girl a bit differently?)

Nope, shouldn't matter very much, unless your school is for some reason more isolated. One you get to college, people become much more inclusive...it's a natural part of growing up (for most people). You may find yourself making friends with people that you aren't accustomed to.