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Write a letter to someone who may never read it! >>> v. 2

DearlyDeparted,

I have so many things that I need to say that you will probably never read.
At least I tried, tried to be the friend I should have been, and at the end of the day I will always be there. I should have been that to begin with. I'm not perfect and have my issues but so do you. Life, its a funny thing.

Me.
 
You,

All I have ever wanted is for you to be happy. For anyone to be happy actually. But lately, I really want to be happy myself for once. And the only way I can achieve my happiness is with you. I understand you have a girlfriend. I understand I fucked up by letting you go in the beginning. I just wish I could start over, things would be so different. You make me so happy whenever I am around you. Just a simple hug is the highlight of my entire day. I get up in the morning just to know that I will be able to be in your grasp for five seconds every day. I don't understand how things became like this. I used to be able to tell you everything, and now I feel like you don't even want to listen. I feel like I should distance myself from you, just for you to know how it feels without me again. It's almost like you take the fact that I will always be there for granted. What if I disappeared one day. Just poof, I'm gone. I wonder if you would even miss me. There are days when you are all I think about, and there are days when you are the last thing on my mind. I'm in some kind of mindfuck right now that i can't seem to get out of. I sit in my closet and put razors to my wrists every night thinking of how wrong my situation is. I haven't been hurt like this before, not this bad. I have never allowed myself to get so close to anyone like I have you. I took the biggest chance of my life, and I got stomped all over. I trusted you, and I still somewhat do. But the trust is deteriorating. I can't even have a normal converstation with you. We're supposed to be 'friends'. But we can't even TALK! I can't stop missing you, and I can't stop wanting things to be the way they used to be. I just have to forget about everything, and it's so hard. I can't write anymore, i'm going to cry.

Goodbye,
Me
 
Drew,
Why did you have to go through my livejournal and read it? All in hpes of some revenge tactic, some scheme to bring me down from the core. You only want to bring me down because you can't reach my heights, you goddamn usurper. Coming into my life and disturbing my feng shui with your psychoanalytical bullshit.

We have been over for 6 fucking months and I would figure you have come to grips with this, yes? You are dating someone else for Christ's sake. You seem to be a creature of habit. Taking on a partner yet still invading your former lover's privacy.

You want to be a psychologist, yet I see you using this knowledge for your own benefit and personal use, not for the help of others. You turned me against myself in our two year relationship and fucked me up, severely. I don't think I can ever regain trust in one man after you. I never loved you, I only cared about you because I couldn't care about myself.

Every time I see your car I want to run it off the road. I pray to some God that you'll never have children and impose upon them your delusional opinions and theories. May college eat you alive and bury you up to your eyes. You're a twisted little man with no moral spine.

I hope if I can't get out of life what I am put on Earth today, may I at least hold the hand of the man in hell who punishes you.

Sophia
 
Dear German guy in my bakery,
You may be old enough to be my father. Those blue eyes, I want to stare down at me while I go to town on your dick. I would pull that lovely silver gray hair of yours till you climax and say something that means nothing to me because it's German.
But you are a customer, and I am a barista. It would never work.
 
baby,
you mean so much to me. i would literally take a bullet for you. i give you everything i have to give, never have and never will hurt you. i have never lied.

however you lie a lot. it hurts me. it hurts even more how you just make it seem like im being mean when i confront you about it. you know all my weak points and sometimes i feel like you exploit them and make me freak out just because youre in the mood to. i try not to think about the way you are so laid back about guys talking dirty to you and how you just laugh and kind of go along with it. tell them to screw off seriously i dont know how the hell you think they are just friends!

but you are also the love of my life. i would not give you up for anything. you are so much like me in so many ways.

it breaks my heart that i have to leave you for college next year. that will be the most painful time of my life. but i have to otherwise i will stay here in burnsville and just do drugs and go back to that dark place.

love you forever. i literally mean forever.
 
Goodbye Grandma. I will miss you so much. You were the best grandmother I could have ever had.
 
Umm...I kinda like you.....and it's really inappropriate cos you're married and I have a boyfriend and we're both happy. But this little thing between us has been growing (at least on my behalf but I'm 95% sure you feel the same) and I just want something.
Acknowledgment. A kiss. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't want to take away from your marriage (your wife is really sweet) - or ruin our lives with some crazy fantasy...just all the 'what if's are getting too much to bear when I see you so often. And when you're not around I think about you all too much.
Maybe in another lifetime huh?

:o
 
Thanks to the paramedics that helped me all those years ago. And sorry for never paying the bill.
 
Mom,

It was such an honor to be with you for your last two weeks. I liked that by the time I could be with you we didn't need to fill the air with idle talk about things that didn't really matter. When I asked if you could read my mind and you said yes, I didn't doubt it for a minute. It amused me that even though you were so weak that you couldn't walk without a walker, that you still found your way into the bathroom to suck down a few puffs of a cigarette - we all knew and didn't say anything anyway - what difference did it make by that time? And when you were so weak that you had trouble saying anything at all, we sat staring into each others eyes... me telling you how important you are to me and how blessed I am to have you as a mother... that you had the strength to reach out and brush a tear from my cheek. That is the most precious moment in my life.

In your final hours, I knew you weren't there.... your soul had already left behind the shell which was trying to shut down. But I held your hand and rubbed your brow anyway as you took your final soft breath.

You will be missed so much by all that have had the privilege of knowing you..
 
i feel like one of the least important people in your life, when i used to be one of the most important people...and its just a hard thing to get used to.
 
Dear Dizzy queen who I briefly dated years ago,

You contacted me on a site we're both on.

After years of zero communication and flakiness on your part I figured that since we'd briefly dated and were not compatible and you flat out told me how much of a flake you were with your ex's so I didn't take it personal when I wrote to you and you didn't even send me an email or try to stay in contact.

Even years later you're still a flake and horrible at communication and staying in contact or even being maintaining a basic friendship with someone let alone dating them or having them as a partner.

It's no wonder why you're not dating anyone and why you're still single and do not even have many friends.

You clearly have major issues with depression/major anxiety and I've suggested that you get help by seeing a therapist or talking to someone, and it's your choice to not do anything.

You're in your early 40s and I'm not your babysitter, therapist, or interested in playing Dr. Phil since you'll just ignore my advice.
 
Dear D
I would describe the time since we split up a living hell. I must have had hundreds of sleepless nights thinking about you.
I miss you and love you so much, yet knowing you don't feel the same is torture. I really wanted you and you knew it. Knowing that you like HER still is torture. Knowing I'm nothing to you now and yoi don't think of me is torture. Knowing you miss her is torture :( Me and AJ feel the same, we can let go but we don't want to if we let go what else do we have left?? I would have done anything for you but you don't want to know me. You said you wish you'd never met me. I would have done anything for you.
I am doing better now. I've left you alone I hope I never ever see you again. I truthfully don't even know if you ever really loved me. I hope you fade in my memory to nothing.

K
x
 
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I'm sorry. You lost me when you needed me the most. I lost me when you needed me the most. I know your addiction took alot from you, that you needed a friend. But that friend couldn't be me, I was too afraid. I still have fear at the thought of you. Every time I feel this fear, I also feel guilt, for letting it control me from doing the right thing. Now I'm too far away to make a difference anyway. :\
 
I still think about you and it makes me angry. I wish you didn't exist. I wish I could erase you from my mind. You are THE ex. You treated me like shit and I don't want to be with you, thats for sure. But it still makes me mad that a year later you are engaged to the girl you were likely talking to while we were still together. And yes, I knew something was up. And that you knocked her up. God you are so stupid. I feel for that child. Daddy is never home and there will never be anything in this world that you love more than yourself. Yourself and shooting people. You're a sick fucker and I hate that I wasted my time and still continue to. You irritate me to no end.
 
i miss you terribly, but it's not so bad. i missed you more the past few months of the relationship. you were gone before you ever truly walked away. but then i know we're just going to grow further and further apart, until we're strangers. it's all ready happening. and i don't want you to just be another memory, because you've meant so much more to me than that. but i guess i don't to you. i understand why you gave up on us, but i don't understand how. i thought about leaving you, but i loved you too much to just walk away. love is something beautiful and rare and true. not something one just throws away so easily. but i guess for you it is.

that's all.
 
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