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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Worst time on meth ever!

Wild.child13

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 30, 2015
Messages
3
This was my 3rd or 4th time trying meth. I only had a small line of it. I had already been up for 24 hours. My boyfriend says I had been up for 48 hours. But anyways I did the line and felt good for a while. Just sat on my phone. That is actually how I came across this website. I was reading about bad paranoia on meth stories on here. Then it happened. My boyfriend wanted me to watch a video with him. I said no as I was just not into Jesse Ventura. He was a bit upset said something to me then I tot felt this huge rush of negitive energy Rush through me. I couldn't stop thinking he was mad at me. The next 24 hours was terrible. We had the worst fight ever and I called my sister freaking out. I did weird stuff like rubbing my shirt between my fingers and rubbing my cracked lips on my teeth. I was even convinced my boyfriend had put something in my water. I felt so shitty I even started cutting myself again. Then when I tried to sleep I would almost fall asleep and then jerk awake. I did the whole jerk awake thing for like an hour or so before I could actually fall asleep. Slept for about 20 hours. Was this because of my lack of sleep? I'm usually not like this on meth.
 
Hmm, well meth is a very interesting drug honestly. It messes with your head. Sounds like you reading all that stuff online made you panick? Little things like that can actually trigger that kind of paranoia. Next time actually watch the movie with your boyfriend. Do anything to get your mind off of it. My fiancé is the same way. Every time she does meth she freaks out thinking everyone is watching her and that I'm an undercover cop. I just sit her down in front of the tv, make her watch sponge Bob and rub her back until she forgets about being paranoid. I use meth so I'm not going to tell you to stop, but maybe it's just not the drug for you or my fiancé? Good luck and stay safe.
 
Oh and if I have been up for days on meth and can't sleep I start seeing shadow people and such. I don't freak out cause I know it's just in my head. What I do though when it starts to happen is drink a spoonful of ZzzQuil and after about 20 mins I knock out. I end up waking up not remembering that I fell asleep.
Just stay safe and try to always remind yourself that it's all in your head.
 
I would almost certainly put my money on: A) lack of sleep B) lack of sleep and C) the conditions for when you took that first line (food eaten that day, sleep from the night prior.)

24-48 hours of no sleep can be the difference in some people between sanity and barricading the windows. Don't take that too literally, I don't mean to scare you. You'll be quite aright with a bit more sleep, a healthy meal & some sunlight. If you plan on doing that again, make sure to talk with your BF before hand and feel comfortable being around them. This way if you ever do feel paranoia creep up, you can find comfort with them knowing they are definitely not out to get you.

Be safe :) try not staying up that long next time you seem a tad sensitive to the sleep deprivation. Which is, you know..... one of the torture techniques the US uses on it's "terrorist" captives, so its no walk in the park.

P.S. If you really want to read deeper into drug paranoia, search around for the MDPV & alpha-PVP mega threads or similar ones. Be happy you didn't end up barricading your house or hearing swat team rappel into your attic, or seeing parasites crawling in your baggie.


But you recover, and quick, just get those ZZzzZzzZs and try not to do a similar stunt anytime soon.
 
I think I've decided that after that scare I had I won't be doing meth for a very long time! I ended up cutting my wrists and thighs with a razor blade when I was coming down from it. If I ever do it again I will make sure I am free to truly do what I want so I can stay happy.
 
If you ever do meth again, try to have some benzodiazepines (Klonipin, Xanax, Lorazepam, Klonopin, etc...) handy. Having some good antipsychotics (Zyprexa and Haldol are my two favorites; Seroquel's not bad, either) around the house is even better IMO.
 
Man meth is so crazily addictive...I (unfortunately) recently got back into snorting bumps of it every now and then, and man, the stimulant euphoria combined with total relaxation (yes, it makes me calm and relaxed, is that weird?) is unmatched IMO. I also get some nice empathogen effects from it, although that doesn't last long.

I get regular sleep though, and comedowns even after stimulant binges...usually arent a problem for me. It's still terrib for my health though, I need to stop.
 
I think I've decided that after that scare I had I won't be doing meth for a very long time! I ended up cutting my wrists and thighs with a razor blade when I was coming down from it. If I ever do it again I will make sure I am free to truly do what I want so I can stay happy.

I would urge to not do it ever again if that was the reaction you had on the come down. I would even urge to stay away from stimulants for a bit. I don't mean that in a mean way or anything, but I would hate to hear you severely hurt yourself because of an evil little molecule.. I hope everything is alright, there is a really awesome support thread you might find some peace of mind at over here:
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/671083-Bluelight-self-harm-support-thread

"The Dark Side" sub forum on bluelight may also help you find some solid support, although it sounds like you had a really really bad come down, but please give both the link, and the dark side sub forum a read through just in case. Even during that come down when the world is literally on your shoulders, it's always good to know you aren't alone. Best wishes! Let us know if you need anything, you can always PM me if you ever just need to chat, and I know there are hundreds of other people here more than happy to talk!

I have definitely been through come downs and withdrawals where I wished I would just die in my sleep, if I ever fell asleep. And its the worst feeling when you lose a job because you decided binging on drugs all night before work was more important than a paycheck. But learning how to tame that beast inside you, and prevent those situations from arising again isn't hard at all, you just have to want it. Fuck a second chance, most people get hundreds of chances so don't sweat it. All the best to you.
 
Oh and if I have been up for days on meth and can't sleep I start seeing shadow people and such. I don't freak out cause I know it's just in my head. What I do though when it starts to happen is drink a spoonful of ZzzQuil and after about 20 mins I knock out. I end up waking up not remembering that I fell asleep.
Just stay safe and try to always remind yourself that it's all in your head.


ya... but that shit starts getting serious... the shadow people... did they ever creep up behind you and talk in your ear ... tap on your shoulder?

pfft... then you didn't do enough meth. :)

Also-my advice is to stick to porn and meth if you must use the internet. For example, meth + Facebook = bad idea....

who here knows what the posting limit is? How many characters? any serious meth user should know....
 
My wife always has a lot more trouble coming down than I do. Lots of people do. I recall on acid I always had the most trouble.... I could never get to sleep.


However, my advice is... if you are starting to feel bad, or come down fucked up... do another bump. Seriously... that's how I handle people who are having a rough time, works every time. And at some point the coming down coincides with good feelings and is smooth... so you land. Or you fly so long... you crash unexpectedly like on the floor at walmart... in somebody's chair.... in the middle of a basketball game... and other embarrassing places..
 
Grab some tweezers and comb your carpet for crystals until the comedown is over and you can sleep. It works and you can get really into it and start feeling like a CSI detective.
 
I'm really sorry you had that experience. Do you mind if I ask if you're a previous self-harmer or have a diagnosed mental health condition? Sometimes anxiety and amphetamines can be a really unpleasant combination.

It really doesn't sound like this is the drug for you... but if you decide to try it again, maybe have some strategies in place to deal with paranoia, conflict and destructive urges. Come up with them while you're sober, write them down and stick them to the fridge. If you start wigging out, you or your boyfriend should consult the fridge (even doing that much can calm you down a bit) and concentrate on doing the things that you think will ease your paranoia or make you feel better. The scariest thing about anxiety and paranoia is feeling out of control and even just having a plan can make it easier to deal with.
 
Never did meth but had a good run with bath salta, i hear they are similar. If you are thw type that gets paranoied like that the beat advice I can give you is not to d meth. Maybe you are more of a downer person, try some opiates or benzos.
 
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