New
Bluelight Crew
Working off some gender anxiety...criticism appreciated
---
So I trot down the steps of Tartarus High
When a fresh blooming soul catches my eye
Her platinum hair singing refracted glory
The sashay in her sway collecting my story
Slithering upon her, blocking her life
My pickup line ripping her brain like a knife
"Hey girl what's - " "Fuck you, you mysogynist prick!"
Then taught me calculus by osmosis - didn't stick
My ego deflated by my freshly-bruised nose
I move on to a dew-laden Irish Rose
Jogging the grounds, each step a pound
For the beat which my body was drawn to surround
Charging headlong, targets locked
I slip out, "Hey baby, wanna get rocked?"
She unseals her lips to respond to me
When I get stopped cold by my new date - a tree
Half-hour passed, cheeks and shirt brown
One from my face leaking blood down
The other from laughter collected at me
No matter, time for mark number three
All cleaned up from dating X-TREME!!
The drama department might hold my queen
One small hitch - they know my best stuff
Clutching my plexus, I leave in a huff
This is the worst day ever to pick up chicks
I'm punching bag most wanted within thirty clicks
The moral of my near-murder, which I hold to be true
When you talk to women, they won't do this to you
So walk up and talk up and shock up and rock up
You'll just have to brush off and dust off and pick up
For the usual worst case is a messy divorce
Which means you already got laid, of course!
---
So I trot down the steps of Tartarus High
When a fresh blooming soul catches my eye
Her platinum hair singing refracted glory
The sashay in her sway collecting my story
Slithering upon her, blocking her life
My pickup line ripping her brain like a knife
"Hey girl what's - " "Fuck you, you mysogynist prick!"
Then taught me calculus by osmosis - didn't stick
My ego deflated by my freshly-bruised nose
I move on to a dew-laden Irish Rose
Jogging the grounds, each step a pound
For the beat which my body was drawn to surround
Charging headlong, targets locked
I slip out, "Hey baby, wanna get rocked?"
She unseals her lips to respond to me
When I get stopped cold by my new date - a tree
Half-hour passed, cheeks and shirt brown
One from my face leaking blood down
The other from laughter collected at me
No matter, time for mark number three
All cleaned up from dating X-TREME!!
The drama department might hold my queen
One small hitch - they know my best stuff
Clutching my plexus, I leave in a huff
This is the worst day ever to pick up chicks
I'm punching bag most wanted within thirty clicks
The moral of my near-murder, which I hold to be true
When you talk to women, they won't do this to you
So walk up and talk up and shock up and rock up
You'll just have to brush off and dust off and pick up
For the usual worst case is a messy divorce
Which means you already got laid, of course!
