joseajduarte
Greenlighter
Hi from Lisbon, sunny sky salutes all living beings.
My actual life seems strange to me. Purposeless. I've always been a guy with some kind of idea in mind since I remember. 48 years from today.
After two decades of exclusive behaviors, the so-called 'addictions', after relating intimately with every psychoactive substance except entheogens, after countless lost battles against that unsatisfactory way of dealing with life, I read a book 'History of Drugs', by a Spanish author, Escohotado. It opened me new horizons and cleared a great deal of my bad conscience. And made me travel to Amsterdam, to psilocybin, in 2004. An amazing experience, OK, but as amazing as my first cocaine experience (I'm Superman!) my first heroin experience (everything's Ok, everything's OK, everything's soooo OK....). Like my first cannabis experience, it was the discover of an unsuspected inner space, but with a big difference. Tomorrow I had a new self, I had no necessity of another joint to repeat the experience. The light work and all was spectacular, but the least important. That experience changed my life. Lifted my addiction-related mood, made me feel less depressed. It was IT!
From 2004 to 2006, after about 8 experiences with P., "addiction", craving, persistent depression, all that shit was gone. Today, no drugs (A note: for me heroin is no drug, is just poison), drink only socially (and enjoy it), don´t smoke, the rest still spectacular...!
However, spiritually, I feel very bad. Feel helpless because I read so much social theory (have a degree in Sociology), I read so much about Neuroscience (trying to understand what happened to my life), and I have no idea about what to do next. Feel really bad about it. No place here for trying to acquire more knowledge in a sustainable way, to be more helpful. Try to talk with people, to exchange ideas in Narcotics Anonymous with people with difficulties, for trying to be helpful to them, to discuss similar experiences, but here in Portugal this groups are in the hands of Roman Catholic Associations, and I'm an atheist. I believe we have the power to change our self with our good will. If you accept being a hostage, you have a serious problem of education, of self-esteem, of self-confidence, of courage.
I'm perfectly convicted that the so called 'addiction problems' can have a cure, a natural cure that comes from inside you, but that is only effective once you know what you're dealing with. What can I do?
My actual life seems strange to me. Purposeless. I've always been a guy with some kind of idea in mind since I remember. 48 years from today.
After two decades of exclusive behaviors, the so-called 'addictions', after relating intimately with every psychoactive substance except entheogens, after countless lost battles against that unsatisfactory way of dealing with life, I read a book 'History of Drugs', by a Spanish author, Escohotado. It opened me new horizons and cleared a great deal of my bad conscience. And made me travel to Amsterdam, to psilocybin, in 2004. An amazing experience, OK, but as amazing as my first cocaine experience (I'm Superman!) my first heroin experience (everything's Ok, everything's OK, everything's soooo OK....). Like my first cannabis experience, it was the discover of an unsuspected inner space, but with a big difference. Tomorrow I had a new self, I had no necessity of another joint to repeat the experience. The light work and all was spectacular, but the least important. That experience changed my life. Lifted my addiction-related mood, made me feel less depressed. It was IT!
From 2004 to 2006, after about 8 experiences with P., "addiction", craving, persistent depression, all that shit was gone. Today, no drugs (A note: for me heroin is no drug, is just poison), drink only socially (and enjoy it), don´t smoke, the rest still spectacular...!
However, spiritually, I feel very bad. Feel helpless because I read so much social theory (have a degree in Sociology), I read so much about Neuroscience (trying to understand what happened to my life), and I have no idea about what to do next. Feel really bad about it. No place here for trying to acquire more knowledge in a sustainable way, to be more helpful. Try to talk with people, to exchange ideas in Narcotics Anonymous with people with difficulties, for trying to be helpful to them, to discuss similar experiences, but here in Portugal this groups are in the hands of Roman Catholic Associations, and I'm an atheist. I believe we have the power to change our self with our good will. If you accept being a hostage, you have a serious problem of education, of self-esteem, of self-confidence, of courage.
I'm perfectly convicted that the so called 'addiction problems' can have a cure, a natural cure that comes from inside you, but that is only effective once you know what you're dealing with. What can I do?
