Mental Health Wondering

[Newbie25]

Is it possible for people with depression and who have mental disability to have a hard time bonding with certain people more than others because I feel like I can get along better with my nieces then my nefews and I feel like a bad aunt because I tend to want to hang out with the girls more then the boys even tho all they do is play video games can someone help me

 

[herbavore]

I think it is somewhat normal to have a natural affinity with your own gender. I raised sons and this transformed the world for me. Seems I had carried a lot of assumptions from my own little girly-girl upbringing into adulthood and these made me less comfortable around boys. Raising boys opened up the other half of the world to me and showed me a fuller picture.

Too bad your nephews spend all their time playing video games, though. It can be hard to break through that. My boys were outdoor players and I even remeber one of my sons saying, what do girls ever do? When I said, well I used to play house and play with dolls and play school, he said, "Yeah but what do they do? I mean like with their bodies?" The truth of course is that I climbed trees and rode bikes and played in the woods just like my brother and there are plenty of girls and boys that naturally like what is prescribed for the other gender but the way to relate to any kid is to respect who they really are and to try to see them without the lens of gender at all.

 

[mal3volent]

It's normal for anyone to gravitate toward groups of people you have more in common with. Especially those of us who are introverted or have social anxiety. Try figuring out why your nephews like video games so much. If they are very young their answers might not be very profound, but "gamers" actually are pretty diverse in their overall interests.

Do they like video games because they're competitive? Maybe they would like sports outside or board games (or cards) inside. Again, this would depend a lot on their age.

is it because they are creative? Try getting them into music or film or something that you can relate to better.

Just talk to them. Hell, try playing the video games with them. I guarantee they will open up to you when they see you stepping out of your own comfort zone and making an effort to relate to them.

 

[Newbie25]

They like games like mind craft and shooting games and I like the farming games they do do sports and skate board I don’t have the balance for skate boards and the only game we would play together was called hay day but they don’t play anymore they are also into nerf guns and stuff but they are too rough for me to play with them I think that I also get quite annoyed with them because they like to get into my 3 year old nieces face and I don’t think they understand that they are a lot stronger then her and when they grab at her arms and stuff I’m scared that they will really hurt her and they also like to play fight and wrestle with each other so I don’t know how I can relate to them even tho they are only like 10 9 and 8 the girls are 12 11 10 and 3 so they mostly like to watch tv and cuddle with me except the 3 year old she just runs all over the place so what can I do I had OLDER brothers growing up and when I was adopted into the family they were practically teenagers already

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Yeah, not just depression, but mental illness overall, can render one having trouble when relating to others. It doesn't make you bad, necessarily, to be a human with preferences. It's just part of us.

I think these ideas might be useful to bounce off of their parents. Especially if you're concerned with the safety of that toddler, please consult with her parents. Maybe they need to be taken aside for a discussion of how to better treat her--it's hard for me to give advice because I'm not there.

Boys may tend play in a more physical manner than girls, it's sort of inoculated.

Maybe you just gel better with the girls. There's nothing wrong with this, so long as you're open to the boys.