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Wondering

J

jayrw

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2000
Messages
183
Location
Stuttgart Germany
As I sit staring, wondering, and watching, I feel it. What it is, I cannot describe. It’s like not having oxygen to breathe. What this feeling is connected to is all too simple-it is him. He walks by so valiantly but with a look of insecurity. That contradiction strikes a question in my mind-is he happy? I often wonder if people are happy even though I am not exactly happy myself. I am always out to help the other person before helping myself. So, I watch more, watching, as he leafs through a magazine, shifting from one foot to the other looking very agitated. Still, that look of insecurity fills the air around him. What is my obsession with him? Why him? Is it love, lust or just plain curiosity? I don’t know. What is the factor that would answer that question? He looks my way-I shyly look away like an embarrassed grade school boy. He walks away. I follow not too close, but not too far. I watch him, his looks very beautiful. I still ponder the question--is this love or lust? Still, the ultimate question lingers-Is he happy? He doesn’t look happy, I could make him happy. What do I have that would make him happy? I have an abyss of love to offer. He sees me again and smiles. I look down as if to portray embarrassment. I wouldn’t know how to handle the situation if he was to come to me. I think of what life would be with someone to love, to share life experiences. Would I be fulfilled? What is love? I believe that is the longest unanswered question. So many unanswered questions. How does someone know when they are in love? Is it a fervent feeling of happiness? I don’t know love. Is love something that someone can know? All of these questions flashing through my head like a freight train. Too fast to answer but slow enough to ponder for a second or two. As I look up and try to find him again, the impossible is happening, he is walking my way. I try to look away, but my body doesn’t let me. He possesses such beauty and such curiosity that nothing can turn me away from him. He looks at me and asks “Are you alone?” I think to myself, what a good question-what is alone? Is it without love? I say “yes.” He proceeds to introduce himself. In my head, I wonder where will this go? What brought him to me? Was it his curiosity and valiantly that brought him to me? I say “Hi” and ask the question “Are you happy?”
Now that you have read all that, I wonder to myself where the hell this came from, cause I am in no way a writer or even have any inclination to write--I was in Barnes and Nobel one day and it just hit me like a brick wall, I didnt have shit to write on so I had to go over and get one of those journals and write in it!!
smile.gif
Well in the end, I couldnt write fast enough, cause it just kept on coming. Unfortunately, it just hasnt happened anymore.
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PLUR!!!!!!!!!!!
 
That's impressive. Esp. since you say you don't write much. but if something like that hit you once, it may very well happen again. It's a creative spell see..like a fever, it will invade your body and force something immense and great out of it ...once that happens it will go away for a while...but not forever. It may not always be writing that comes forth, like a disease thier are many strands, quite contagious and variable. The only cure is to do what you did..spontaniously create. Good job! Be prepared..it will happen again!
-):PixieLoca
 
My eyes couldn't read your writing fast enough, try as I might, I was over whelmed with the same questions and feelings. If this is a true story, don't let go. Feel every minute of life, breath it in, see the sun shine and grab it, wake up with it in your face, feel the life that has been handed to you, but don't let go.
I see her face, the smile, the skin, I feel her touch, her breath on my face, I remember the past, the what once was. I haven't let go, but something happened, just what I don't know, I never see that smile anymore, feel that touch, the sun never shines in my valley anymore, I thought it was supposed to come everyday, like clockwork.
I didn't let go, but the gears in my life have been jammed, will I figure out why airplanes sit on runways under clear blue skies????????
Please for my sake, don't let go, don't let go, let the frightened ones run, but don't say goodbye to that blue sky, don't let go. PLUR
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Everyday people are becoming more and more my enemies. The people are replaced with sounds of technology and the drugs that are spawned from them.-Shamen
 
that was fuckin A, i liked how you expresed yourself so gracefully. you have a talent, use it more and more please. i know how you feel, i always try to make others happy before my self for some odd reason i strive off of that. i guess in a sense seeing others happy makes me. im not sure how to explain the feeling of love, but you will know it without a doubt, and all you will be able to think of is his or her happines, that is when you are in love. anyways enough babling form me, just want you to know that was pretty straight what you wrote.
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oi,oi,oi
 
I don't to often reply to others works on here, but this work was just so pure and fresh, its always the best the first ones, they get right to the point, I've had the same exact thoughts while roaming around in society, actually way to often, who is that, I wonder if they see the things the way I do, wonder what their story is, usually I push such thoughts away and day dream such as this, because unfortanetly the reality of those mysterious people is very dissapointing. oh, and you'll know love when it hits, you'll definetly know.
 
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