jayrw
Bluelighter
As I sit staring, wondering, and watching, I feel it. What it is, I cannot describe. It’s like not having oxygen to breathe. What this feeling is connected to is all too simple-it is him. He walks by so valiantly but with a look of insecurity. That contradiction strikes a question in my mind-is he happy? I often wonder if people are happy even though I am not exactly happy myself. I am always out to help the other person before helping myself. So, I watch more, watching, as he leafs through a magazine, shifting from one foot to the other looking very agitated. Still, that look of insecurity fills the air around him. What is my obsession with him? Why him? Is it love, lust or just plain curiosity? I don’t know. What is the factor that would answer that question? He looks my way-I shyly look away like an embarrassed grade school boy. He walks away. I follow not too close, but not too far. I watch him, his looks very beautiful. I still ponder the question--is this love or lust? Still, the ultimate question lingers-Is he happy? He doesn’t look happy, I could make him happy. What do I have that would make him happy? I have an abyss of love to offer. He sees me again and smiles. I look down as if to portray embarrassment. I wouldn’t know how to handle the situation if he was to come to me. I think of what life would be with someone to love, to share life experiences. Would I be fulfilled? What is love? I believe that is the longest unanswered question. So many unanswered questions. How does someone know when they are in love? Is it a fervent feeling of happiness? I don’t know love. Is love something that someone can know? All of these questions flashing through my head like a freight train. Too fast to answer but slow enough to ponder for a second or two. As I look up and try to find him again, the impossible is happening, he is walking my way. I try to look away, but my body doesn’t let me. He possesses such beauty and such curiosity that nothing can turn me away from him. He looks at me and asks “Are you alone?” I think to myself, what a good question-what is alone? Is it without love? I say “yes.” He proceeds to introduce himself. In my head, I wonder where will this go? What brought him to me? Was it his curiosity and valiantly that brought him to me? I say “Hi” and ask the question “Are you happy?”
Now that you have read all that, I wonder to myself where the hell this came from, cause I am in no way a writer or even have any inclination to write--I was in Barnes and Nobel one day and it just hit me like a brick wall, I didnt have shit to write on so I had to go over and get one of those journals and write in it!!
Well in the end, I couldnt write fast enough, cause it just kept on coming. Unfortunately, it just hasnt happened anymore.
------------------
PLUR!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that you have read all that, I wonder to myself where the hell this came from, cause I am in no way a writer or even have any inclination to write--I was in Barnes and Nobel one day and it just hit me like a brick wall, I didnt have shit to write on so I had to go over and get one of those journals and write in it!!

------------------
PLUR!!!!!!!!!!!