wondering.

[rewiiired]

Wondering.
7/28/04
circa 9 PM

I was feeling dark, I was feeling dead
needed a nice walk to clear my head
thinking over all those things you said
wondering if your words rang true.

And it's not that I want to doubt you,
but trust is vulnerability and
I've been naked and hurt before,
and I cannot stop wondering, no,
my life is one of wandering...

I breathed in the air, I hugged the wind
that sent the tree's summer leaves clapping.
cloud above the sidewalk, what happened
to my sun and skies of blue?

And it's not that I want to doubt you,
it's about everything and you, too.
I've always been a lost fool,
and I cannot stop wandering, no,
my life is one of wondering...

And I gave space for
the echoing voice inside my head
and made it the mantra
kept in beat by my dragging feet:

`Take things as they come,
for this, too, shall pass.
Know when to hold on
and know when to let go.'

And I took you into my heart:
and to believe your words?
Every pore in me wants to;
I want to believe it's time to hold on
but I feel your grip loosening,
I hear my soul screaming...

And it's not that I want to doubt you...

 

[Dekloren]

*Shivers*