Ragnarok-isinsight
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 12, 2017
- Messages
- 75
Hello everyone! This website has been an absolute God send the past month. I feel 100% motivatied from all of your inspirational stories of recovery and honesty to finally commit to my own sobriety.
As much as it pains me to say...
I am now an alcoholic. I use to say I had a bad drinking habit cause I loved being buzzed, then I'd say my body was dependant on it. Now I have to come to terms with that I am an alcoholic, and I need to nip this in the bud while I still have my sanity (no pun intended with the 'nip', haha).
I'm 26 years old, still live at home, have a part time job, and I've been drinking 80proof vodka or rum daily for the past 2-3 ish months now. I've been drinking on and off for the past year, but daily only recently. Started off as a pint, then a pint and a half, to 2, and now I need 15ish nips to keep withdrawals at bay. I tapered down over 3 weeks this month to 9, but my withdrawls got too bad and I got scared. My worse drinking happens at night when I just want to sleep. I've kept it a secret from my whole family, (all of whom have ALWAYS been sober), and i'd be such a disappointment if they found out. I never got to the point of black out drunk. I just drank to maintain a buzz throughout the day to dull out my prediciment. Now that my bad situation has ended, I'm ready to move on.
I was in a relationship with a guy for 5.5 years (my first boyfriend, kiss, blah blah everything) and during those few months i drank daily, he moved to Maine, which he'd been planning and failing at for about a year. During that time he was away, I was torn between leaving my family behind who I love so much or breaking up with my boyfriend, whom I was realizing I still loved, but no longer was IN love with. I made the worse decision possible and blocked all my feelings with alcohol and just coasted through the workday, functioning well but never wholly there.
A week ago my boyfriend realized I was not ready to commit my life to him and I was too nice to end it. He ended it for me, cause he knew it was best for me. It ended on good terms and I do fell at peace with him now.
The people with whom I met and tell me they are recovered alcoholics are my new heroes. Truly. I can't believe people can overcome this, but if people who have drank for 10+ years can do it, I know I can.
I'm looking for advice and support on tapering off. I don't care how long it takes, cold turkey scares the absolute shit out of me. I'll be posting in the tapering forums.
I do have friends I've told who tell me they will check up on me, but I wanted more real life stories. I don't ever want to drink again.
Thanks for your time, I hope all of you reach your goals as I will.
As much as it pains me to say...
I am now an alcoholic. I use to say I had a bad drinking habit cause I loved being buzzed, then I'd say my body was dependant on it. Now I have to come to terms with that I am an alcoholic, and I need to nip this in the bud while I still have my sanity (no pun intended with the 'nip', haha).
I'm 26 years old, still live at home, have a part time job, and I've been drinking 80proof vodka or rum daily for the past 2-3 ish months now. I've been drinking on and off for the past year, but daily only recently. Started off as a pint, then a pint and a half, to 2, and now I need 15ish nips to keep withdrawals at bay. I tapered down over 3 weeks this month to 9, but my withdrawls got too bad and I got scared. My worse drinking happens at night when I just want to sleep. I've kept it a secret from my whole family, (all of whom have ALWAYS been sober), and i'd be such a disappointment if they found out. I never got to the point of black out drunk. I just drank to maintain a buzz throughout the day to dull out my prediciment. Now that my bad situation has ended, I'm ready to move on.
I was in a relationship with a guy for 5.5 years (my first boyfriend, kiss, blah blah everything) and during those few months i drank daily, he moved to Maine, which he'd been planning and failing at for about a year. During that time he was away, I was torn between leaving my family behind who I love so much or breaking up with my boyfriend, whom I was realizing I still loved, but no longer was IN love with. I made the worse decision possible and blocked all my feelings with alcohol and just coasted through the workday, functioning well but never wholly there.
A week ago my boyfriend realized I was not ready to commit my life to him and I was too nice to end it. He ended it for me, cause he knew it was best for me. It ended on good terms and I do fell at peace with him now.
The people with whom I met and tell me they are recovered alcoholics are my new heroes. Truly. I can't believe people can overcome this, but if people who have drank for 10+ years can do it, I know I can.
I'm looking for advice and support on tapering off. I don't care how long it takes, cold turkey scares the absolute shit out of me. I'll be posting in the tapering forums.
I do have friends I've told who tell me they will check up on me, but I wanted more real life stories. I don't ever want to drink again.
Thanks for your time, I hope all of you reach your goals as I will.
