opium
Bluelighter
Nobodys gotta read this, just needa vent for a minute..and didnt mean to put the icon as happy cause im pretty fucking pissed.
So i went to rehab like i had planned...made it two days..and in 48 hours this is what the fuck happened.
i get in their Thursday, and they admit me and leave me sitting in admissions sick as fuck. dont even let me smoke.
Finally i get into detox, and they say im not sick enough for meds, so i chill in their with some strung out junkies. im the only juvenile.
People keep comin over askin whats my deal and shit, and they wanna talk to me about drugs? why the fuck did i come here if i wanna talk about drugs.
After 5 hours in detox, they send me over to a adolescent unit, and give me a bed. I meet my roomates in the activity room, and their praying for sobriety. Im not down with that, but i guess thats fine if their tryin to get sober? No.
We get back to our beds, and they change a complete 180.. they start swappin pills and shit from their meds.. i ask whats goin on? they go oh that was just a show, if you dont comply they extend your treatment for a while, but in here we can kinda do what we want, no one bothers us.
Im a little nervous, cause some of the meds their trading are ones ive abused when i was on the outside..
I go to take a shower, and everybodys smokin some home rolled shit, they say their cigs, but idk what they got in em, cause i saw some people crushin up meds and they mightve sprinkled some shit on em..i needed a cig though so i smoked.
i go to sleep, and wake up. Trying to go home, no big deal just not for me..Nooooottttt
i signed myself in, but i cant sign myself out. I flip the fuck out.
We go to breakfast and i tell the staff i need a phone call to my dad, they deny me cause they know im trying to get a ride home. So i threaten a staff member that i need a phone call or bad things will happen..she laughs it off. Ok
I pick up the chair im sitting in and throw it at the window, the staffs not laughing anymore. I call out anybody who wants to fight, idgaf, im leaving here one way or another. cop car or ambulance. my mind is made. if nobody wants to throw im just gonna hit somebody
Before anybody steps up to throw hands, staff escorts me out to the Administrative Office. I've made my point. On the way out, the staff members van is parked out front and i kick it and dent the door. She tells me to fuck off
i get into a room where theres an older man sitting, he says wtf is going on. ive been here for one day, and hes already getting phone calls. he dosent like it. i say its my right for a phone call, he says fuck my rights, hes in charge. then the staff members explain what had happened, and he says i can have one phone call. About time.
i call my dads cell with no answer....i leave a message and pray for a phone call back even though im not religious.
The man tells me my parents dont want to hear from me, they set me up with an intervention, and im not going home until he decides im ready. He says if i pull any more stunts like that he'll put me away where nobody can find me. i leave the office without saying another word. i head back to my "Cabin" and lay down in bed...im never gonna leave. Its about 11am.
The staff member tells me to make my bed and get up, i say fuck off im sleeping. Eventually i go out to the day room to chill, everybody's watching me wondering what caused my last outrage. I get a call to the doctor, she wants to do an evaluation. She comes to the conclusion that i have anxiety, and compulsive anger, i need sedative benzos to get rid of my unexplained anger and calm my anxious nature. i refuse the meds. i came to rehab to get clean.
I walk out smoking a cigarette i had gotten off of an adult when i passed by the detox building on the way to the doctor. They tell me to put it out but i dont.
Then we go into a room where we have free time to sit and discuss our drug use, i want no part. i lift weights in the adjoined gym.
My dad calls back, its now about 2pm..he says hes been advised not to come get me..apparently the administrator called and told him i was delusional, angry, and refusing treatment. i tell him if he dosent come, he'll be getting a call concerning my bail. He decides he'll come. Good.
About 30 seconds later i get called out by the same old man in the administrative building, hes pissed. good.
He says why am i fucking up my treatment, im only affecting me. i say nothing. He calls my dad and puts it on speaker, and tells my dad he has no idea what hes doing, and hes making a mistake..my dad says he knows what he needs to do and hes on his way now. He hangs up the phone.
The man says im just a dope fiend using my scumbag ways to lure my dad into helping me, i tell him to go fuck himself, and not to ever talk to my dad like that again unless he wants problems. He says that is bullshit and goes back to his office. Finally.
At about 430pm my dad shows up, to pick me up. The administrator tells me that hes told my dad i no longer wish to leave and ive decided to stay, so dont even go near the administration building because im staying. i again say go fuck yourself, and i make my way to the parking lot, my dads sitting in his car waiting, i let him know i am leaving, and i need to get my bags so dont leave. He says ok.
i meet up with a couple addicts from the adult detox i had met, and they wish me the best and to stay strong, i wish them the same. Tough.
i get my things and make my way out, the administrator stops me one last time and says as soon as i get out and start using again, never to try and get back into this rehab when i need it, hed rather see me use than to be back in his building. i say im not going to need him anymore, and it was nice meeting him. He walks off.
I get into my dads car with my things and we leave. its now 630pm.
Longest 2 days of my life. How the fuck i get in these situations i dont know. I got lucky that my anger actually got me somewhere, cause that wont work everywhere.
Court soon for the truancy still since i was marked as an AMA (Against Medical Advice) So i left as a failure to treatment. Not totally excited about all this, just happy ill be able to celebrate my birthday in the comfort of my own home.
So i went to rehab like i had planned...made it two days..and in 48 hours this is what the fuck happened.
i get in their Thursday, and they admit me and leave me sitting in admissions sick as fuck. dont even let me smoke.
Finally i get into detox, and they say im not sick enough for meds, so i chill in their with some strung out junkies. im the only juvenile.
People keep comin over askin whats my deal and shit, and they wanna talk to me about drugs? why the fuck did i come here if i wanna talk about drugs.
After 5 hours in detox, they send me over to a adolescent unit, and give me a bed. I meet my roomates in the activity room, and their praying for sobriety. Im not down with that, but i guess thats fine if their tryin to get sober? No.
We get back to our beds, and they change a complete 180.. they start swappin pills and shit from their meds.. i ask whats goin on? they go oh that was just a show, if you dont comply they extend your treatment for a while, but in here we can kinda do what we want, no one bothers us.
Im a little nervous, cause some of the meds their trading are ones ive abused when i was on the outside..
I go to take a shower, and everybodys smokin some home rolled shit, they say their cigs, but idk what they got in em, cause i saw some people crushin up meds and they mightve sprinkled some shit on em..i needed a cig though so i smoked.
i go to sleep, and wake up. Trying to go home, no big deal just not for me..Nooooottttt
i signed myself in, but i cant sign myself out. I flip the fuck out.
We go to breakfast and i tell the staff i need a phone call to my dad, they deny me cause they know im trying to get a ride home. So i threaten a staff member that i need a phone call or bad things will happen..she laughs it off. Ok
I pick up the chair im sitting in and throw it at the window, the staffs not laughing anymore. I call out anybody who wants to fight, idgaf, im leaving here one way or another. cop car or ambulance. my mind is made. if nobody wants to throw im just gonna hit somebody
Before anybody steps up to throw hands, staff escorts me out to the Administrative Office. I've made my point. On the way out, the staff members van is parked out front and i kick it and dent the door. She tells me to fuck off
i get into a room where theres an older man sitting, he says wtf is going on. ive been here for one day, and hes already getting phone calls. he dosent like it. i say its my right for a phone call, he says fuck my rights, hes in charge. then the staff members explain what had happened, and he says i can have one phone call. About time.
i call my dads cell with no answer....i leave a message and pray for a phone call back even though im not religious.
The man tells me my parents dont want to hear from me, they set me up with an intervention, and im not going home until he decides im ready. He says if i pull any more stunts like that he'll put me away where nobody can find me. i leave the office without saying another word. i head back to my "Cabin" and lay down in bed...im never gonna leave. Its about 11am.
The staff member tells me to make my bed and get up, i say fuck off im sleeping. Eventually i go out to the day room to chill, everybody's watching me wondering what caused my last outrage. I get a call to the doctor, she wants to do an evaluation. She comes to the conclusion that i have anxiety, and compulsive anger, i need sedative benzos to get rid of my unexplained anger and calm my anxious nature. i refuse the meds. i came to rehab to get clean.
I walk out smoking a cigarette i had gotten off of an adult when i passed by the detox building on the way to the doctor. They tell me to put it out but i dont.
Then we go into a room where we have free time to sit and discuss our drug use, i want no part. i lift weights in the adjoined gym.
My dad calls back, its now about 2pm..he says hes been advised not to come get me..apparently the administrator called and told him i was delusional, angry, and refusing treatment. i tell him if he dosent come, he'll be getting a call concerning my bail. He decides he'll come. Good.
About 30 seconds later i get called out by the same old man in the administrative building, hes pissed. good.
He says why am i fucking up my treatment, im only affecting me. i say nothing. He calls my dad and puts it on speaker, and tells my dad he has no idea what hes doing, and hes making a mistake..my dad says he knows what he needs to do and hes on his way now. He hangs up the phone.
The man says im just a dope fiend using my scumbag ways to lure my dad into helping me, i tell him to go fuck himself, and not to ever talk to my dad like that again unless he wants problems. He says that is bullshit and goes back to his office. Finally.
At about 430pm my dad shows up, to pick me up. The administrator tells me that hes told my dad i no longer wish to leave and ive decided to stay, so dont even go near the administration building because im staying. i again say go fuck yourself, and i make my way to the parking lot, my dads sitting in his car waiting, i let him know i am leaving, and i need to get my bags so dont leave. He says ok.
i meet up with a couple addicts from the adult detox i had met, and they wish me the best and to stay strong, i wish them the same. Tough.
i get my things and make my way out, the administrator stops me one last time and says as soon as i get out and start using again, never to try and get back into this rehab when i need it, hed rather see me use than to be back in his building. i say im not going to need him anymore, and it was nice meeting him. He walks off.
I get into my dads car with my things and we leave. its now 630pm.
Longest 2 days of my life. How the fuck i get in these situations i dont know. I got lucky that my anger actually got me somewhere, cause that wont work everywhere.
Court soon for the truancy still since i was marked as an AMA (Against Medical Advice) So i left as a failure to treatment. Not totally excited about all this, just happy ill be able to celebrate my birthday in the comfort of my own home.
