Wishy Washy

I'm thinking that I may say goodbye to BL for a bit.

I pretty much only hang in TDS and Blogs but I get this odd feeling from TDS nowadays. Can't really put my finger on it but it was triggered by a comment from someone I value and respect that I am certain was directed to me that had no basis on fact. This happened a while ago and I've been stewing in it ever since.

Too sensitive? Yes, yes I am... I respect the person who suspected that my friendliness was something more than that.

Fuck it... so I give a shit about people... there is such a thing as simple friendship and care between the sexes. I don't flirt with other men's women. (hah... this perceived accusation is so fucking ridiculous on so many levels that its frustrating, painful and laughable at the same time)

I'm making HUGE strides in becoming a better person but I sense that people are more inclined to like me when I am completely broken and fucked. If this is the case... I'd rather not be liked...

I'm finally feeling good about myself again. I've applied effort, felt pain and suffered in order to make positive changes in my life. It didn't just fall in my lap.

Of course I'll be back. When? Shit... BL is addicting so who knows?

Another reason for stepping off is because I need to be balanced. Due to work, I'm unable to make as many meetings that I am accustomed to. I need a balance between my 'complete abstinence' and the time spent reading about the drugs that I love so much.

We'll see... I'm one of those folks who flip flops with his decisions for a while before committing to a final course of action

 

RL > Internet. Always. Take care of yourself first, and maybe poke your head around here every now and again just for a friendly hello?

 

Well, I hope that whatever you decide to do, you stay in touch!
I want nothing but the best for you!

Also, maybe you should ask the person who said whatever and talk to them about it??? It may not have even be directed at you? You never know. And you could be hurt for no reason.........

And if you have any feedback for TDS you can give it to any of the Mods by PM or the Feedback thread

Anyway-Like Dave said, Take care of you first.

 

All sorted now. I received a phone call explaining things and it is a HUGE relief.

Self-centeredness makes me think everything is about me (it is a defect that I am trying to work on). I could have approached the situation but I was scared to find out if it truly was about me so I figured I would deal with the 'current hurt' as opposed to risking the hurt of possible reality.

I was wrong and I'm extremely relieved and happy that I was!

 

Nice one!