Wishes hopes and dreams the man behind the hair

[emotionisdead67]

Faces wash away with the rain.
I don't hate my life I just get bored.
I'm to blame.
Wishes, hopes and dreams.
American Flag up in flames.
The last I felt alive.
Wishes, hopes and dreams.

Clever, wity, shy and introverted.
I dress in tight jeans, small shirts and shaggy hair.
Warm weather, happy songs, brilliant skys and quiet lies. Very little clue to what I've become these days.

Worlds of confusion
lost in a pitfall of time looking back on what went wrong.
Who am I? Wishes hopes and dreams.
A summer time theme.

 

[(Wordy)]

I really like the opening:

Faces wash away with the rain.
I don't hate my life I just get bored.
I'm to blame.

And I like the last line too, the way it chimes / rhymes in, and widens the perspective back out beyond the self, maybe back to where we started with the opening line.

I like the title too, the way it's "roughly phrased" / unpunctuated.

 

[Doooofus]

I really like it. Some constructive criticism though? (Even though you didn't ask )

Would it be more effective if you spoke in the 3rd person:

"He dresses in tight jeans..."

Makes it apply universally, makes us all consider who we are. Good work though, I like it!

 

[emotionisdead67]

Thank you for the comments and the constructive critiicism. I like the 3rd person idea. Like I said in the poem I am a bit introverted so I tend to write as that.

Third person is a great idea. Thank you much. Both of you.