Will we as parents be so naive?

[E^lEctric]

I was just wondering, about the naiviety (sp) of the older generation, in regards to the generation X'rs and resultant drug use explosion.
How many of you bluelighters are able to conceal the indulgance of various illegal substance (in particular E), from your parents?? My guess is nearly all of you. Or perhaps they do know, but willinging choose not to accept the possibility, and the connotations attached to such activities.
I beleive that ecstacy/raves, has "revolutionised" the demographic of drug users. So many ppl (including your's truly) have been exposed to E because of its incredible popularity today. 2-3 years ago, i would have never considered the possibility of taking any illicit substance. So many other ppl are now being exposed, that previously never were.
A recent survey in the UK said that half a million ppl take E every weekend, and that 12% of ppl btw 18-24 have at least tried it once. 1 in 8 does not sound like a great ratio, but really it is quite an incredible number. It is best put by using something like your workplace (that has a young demographic) with 50 ppl. Could you then try to picture the 7-8 ppl who do E or other drugs?

It amazes me that our parents can be so naive about this generations night-life habits. How many of your parents say to you when you are about to head out to a rave. "Be really careful", as if its evil, due to the drugs etc. And to which you reply "Of course not, do you think iam silly enough to endanger health or life?".
Or when you get home still peaking or coming down at 10am in the morning and they ask (if you don't manage to avoid them) "Gee how do you have the energy to dance for so long??" to which you reply in amusement, "Pure aderenile, the DJ was so damn good". HAHA, yeah right

Personally i think becuase our parents lived in a much different era, they really are naive about what we do. Even if the 60's/70's, which most of our parents went through was reknowed for drugs etc, it pales into comparison of the youth rave culture today.
So my overall point is this, when we raise our kids, are we going to much more wiser, and really know what they are doing behind our backs? Of course this is prob 20-25 yrs down the track and raves might not be the thing to do, but iam sure you get the point.
In conclusion iam glad my parents are naive and i want it to stay that way. It's only the media that has brought some awareness to "The Scene", albeit misinformed bullshit most of the time. Anyway i know my kids will have to be bloody smart to hide stuff from me

I would be interested to hear any thoughts on what i have said. Thanks for listening peeps

[This message has been edited by E^lEctric (edited 04 July 2000).]

 

[Smacky]

Well I am only 16 now and for the 6 months of raving I managed to conceal it. Then I had to admit it because I kept coming home too out of it. I said I had only popped once, on new years and that satisfied my dad (my mum lives a long way away). Well, last Sunday (yes, after M2) i had to admit some more things..... At M2 I had one pill and 1 and 1/2 grams of goey. Then at the recovery I went to I had another pill at about 9am and another halfweight. The goey I had was really good, probably the best I'd ever had and I hadn't done goey for a month or so, so I was in another world. I came home at 6:30pm, my eyes had no colour in them, only white and black

First thing my dad says is, 'well looks like you had a good night and alot of drugs!'
I just went to bed, mumbling something like, 'as if!' Anyway the next morning I told him I had 'tried' speed on Saturday and it made me abit sick and stuff. He said, 'Thanks for telling me, I'm glad you learnt the lesson (I said it made me sick and paranoid).'
I wasn't surprised, he said the same thing as when I had told him I had popped a pill. He says he'd rather I be honest than anything else, he didn't ground me, or get me in trouble, more congradulated me (not encouraged, congradulated) on telling him the truth.
I said that i wouldn't do goey again but that i would probably pop pills again, but only once or twice a year. He said ok, just remember, only have half, etc etc.
So honesty (well half truth) is better than full blown lieing I think, but then again it depends on whether your parents know much about drugs (my dad knows abit) and how understanding they are about teenagers. Anyways if you think your parents can handle it, then tell them. I am 16 and now I can talk atleast abit about my weekend and what effects you get from ecstacy (he was interested lol)!
Good Luck!!!

 

[E Bee]

have kids? are you mad?? 9 months without being able to take any drugs whatsoever?!?!

its a sad fact of life that parents often force their views onto their children, no matter how ignorant or outdated they are

 

[haste]

Hey I have a four year old little boy and I think I am very open minded and anything but niave - so unless something drastic happens and I fall out of contact with the rest of the world - I'd say I'll be the same.
As a parent I am natuaraly concerned for my son's well being - but I also believe that ignorance puts him in deeper danger. How you might ask? Simply.
Through the years, espcecially having worked as a Youth Worker, it becomes apparent to you that young people are going to experiment. It is a time in one's life where we so desperately seek to discover who we are - you might be aware of this and you might not, but we all go through it. Young people are lead into many circle's of friends, many different social settings that all have their own rituals, for want of a better word. The desire to want to know will more than often lead a young person down the path of experiment - shit I'm 29 and still go through this.
In a lot of cases, no matter whether we agree or not, young people will try various activities - including drugs. The wonderful thing about Bluelight is that we have a wealth of information to resource at our fingertips. How many young people are aware and understand the in's and out's of the drugs they are taking - not many from what I see. Whether I agree with what my son might take in the future is not a worrying concern at the momment. To me it's more important to stay informed and bulid a supporting relationship with him. To help educate him on the safe measures that can be taken, to understand the dangers, and to be an emmotional support. This at times can be harder than said, because we are talking about your own flesh and blood and your natural response is to stop the activity all together - as many of us have expereinced with our own parents.
When my parents caught me smoking and drinking and gave me a hiding it didn't stop me - in fact it encouraged the rebellion within me to intensify. I , as a parent, do not wish to go down this track with my own son.

 

[sunni]

I'm 22 but still living with my parents & they have always known what I am up to. For example, when I was younger, like 15, my dad used to drive me & me friends to parties via the bottle shop (we had to pay ourselves) & pick us up whenever we called him - even 3 in the morning. Sounds freakish, I know, but then he would always know what I drank & how much & exactly where I was.
My parents are just very aware that kids will do whatever they want no matter what anybody says so you might as well just deal with it (& they're not that young - 26 when I was born). They would rather be close to me & really know me than pretend like everybody is perfect & have no real clue about my life. Same thing goes for sex, drugs, friends, etc. Having grown up in this environment, I'm sure I will be the same with my kids.
Just for the record, in case anyone thinks that the sort of freedom I had will screw you up, I'll drink maybe once or twice a year, I'll smoke billies about the same, I'll have an e about once a month (& only one a night) & I'll have some Loui about once a month as well.
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to the crazy person, the normal one is insane

 

[ami]

I'm 18 and i come from a very strict family upbringing. One year ago I wouldn't even be able to talk to a member of the opposite sex. So since i was 13 I've hidden absolutely EVERYTHING from them whether it's boyfriends, smoking, alcohol, drugs etc etc. I've only ever stuffed up once... when my dad found a packet of cigs in my car, but any other time they have never suspected anything. It's actually really hard to hide everything, but i dont have any choice, otherwise I'll have no life to live. What i think is that i'll ease everything into their heads slowly when i get into uni. And if that doesnt work then i'll just move out and do what i want.
I dont think parents should restrict their children so much, as it really blocks all communication between them, and the relationship just gets fucked.
well thats what i think anyways.....

 

[Jaff]

As obvious as it sounds, it comes down to what type of person you are and what type of people you parents are.
I've told my parents half the truth. They think I've tried it and that I will try it again. They still see E as somewhat of a gamble (thanx to the media), even though I explained all I know about what chemicals are put in tabs these day, and how testers work.
Basically I explained the full hack, with the exception of how often I use it. I infomed them about the negative side effects of weekly users, and how the less frequent users have little if any side effects. In this case, they would put 2 & 2 together and put me down as a Non-frequent user (which is what I am).

They feel safe with me cause of the knowledge I have so it has put their mind at ease. As for you AMI, I doubt telling your parents will benifet you or them in anyway. Although I believe it is healthy to tell your parents alot about yourself, like I said earlier, depends what type of people your parents are. I think you and I both know they are gonna think that you're some type of "druggie".
Then again, Aren't we all

Jaff
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"That's exactly right!!! You hit the nail on the timber"

 

[dil8dpupil]

Sunni im in the exact situation myself, and i think ill do the same with my kids as my parents with me. I think that kids that are sheltered tend to not no what to do when they do get freedom and go crazy, those are usually the ones that are most likely to do stupid things and go too far. If you are treated equal and are given the respect you deserve from your parents while young you often listen to them when they do have something to say about how you run your life.

 

[Hamlet]

ami...u go girl...hahaha

uh...yeah...my parents know....and my dad isn't talking to me at the moment...not only because of drugs but because he is a pissed off man, i'll sort it out tho...
but yes they know...and they don't really like it, but they accept it...im 18 and yeah...that's me...all over the damn place...ughhhh...bye...hamlet

 

[*meth*]

well, being the mothergoose on board, i gotta give my 2 cents worh!!!
yes, i think that the more exposure your parents may have had during their youth/early adulthood, the more they will be aware what shananigans you are up to!!! i know for a fact that some parents will pretend ignorance for the simple fact as to not bring out that little oppose-everything-your-parents-say phenomena !!! personally i think,it all comes down to one thing: they worry their arses off for your health, future and emotional wellbeing and frankly, if i had kids i would try every trick in the book to prevent them from taking drugs regularily!
experimenting is one thing, but when i see 16 year old, still not fully developed bodies , exposed to mind altering drugs, i really worry, ........and why do i worry??? because i have been there and done that and i am paying the price for it!!!! try to put yourselves into their shoes for a sec and remember that it is their primal instinct to protect you from any harm........and i will have a bet with all of you , that it won't be any different when you have kids yourself!!!

.....does that make sense???...............meff

[This message has been edited by *meth* (edited 05 July 2000).]

 

[GoNeGoOsE]

My parents were REALLY strict with me as a kid and up till i was about 16-17. Spare the rod and spoil a child came into their minds very often.
However, they turned me loose when i hit 18 i guess. I'm 21 this year and i am still alive and kicking.
I guess their idea and belief is that providing me with the proper education and upbringing will keep me alive.
Anything that i wanna do they mostly find out themselves but claim that "they cannot do anything about it" and generally leave me be, 'cept for the occasional naggings!
As a potential future parent, i guess there is a fine line between knowing when to control and when to release. DAMN I AM GONNA BE ONE FUCKED UP PARENT!!! *ROFL*

 

[E^lEctric]

Some excellent reponses. I would like to hear a few more so bumpity bump

 

[Tarsarlan]

My parents are pretty laid back, well my dad is, my mum just lets most things go without arguing too much cos she's learn that when I know what I'm talking about and present a good arguement she has no chance of swaying me...
My dad isn't all that naive, he came into my room one day when i just came home and asked me about drugs at raves, and I could tell by the way he said it that he was sus about it all and knew that i wasn't going out and drinking (telling him I hate alcohol and never drink might also have given him some clue there too

)
My mum has no clue, she's pretty naive about everything, not just drugs.
I've pretty much had free reign to do what I want, but I never take things too far (anymore) I don't drink anymore, don't smoke anymore, only take pills once a month on average (tho lately it's been a bit more frequent) speed once in a while (whenever someone is offering) and not really much else.
I really think I would be a good parent, but no time soon, only after quite a few years, and only when I feel that it's time to have kids. I consider myself pretty aware of the people around me and am not often taken by surprise by anything they do or say, so I think I would not be a naive parent.
But then, I don't think anyone ever really knows themselves well enough to be able to say with any accuracy what they'll be like in the future... that's my opinion anyway
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Common Sense isn't all that common

 

[dil8dpupil]

well after meth's comment i think im going to lock my kids up and feed them through a hole for the rest of their lives haha j/k man! nah i dont know what i will do, i wont not let them out because they might experiment with illicit drugs though. I would just like them to feel comfortable with talking to me about stuff and not feeling like im going to rip off their heads! Im going to be a cool parent so they want to hang around with their mother and not hide the drugs but share them with me hahaha j/k again man!

 

[k2436]

Its not really the perants fault. The perants have been told time and time again that one drug leads to another, and all drugs will kill their kids eventually. You cant really blame then if their worried, but its the fault of the drugwar and not the perants that there is a lack of information.