Will I recover what's the point of living if I'm going to be like this:( hppd and dp

mcmz12

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 28, 2017
Messages
17
Never did any drugs besides alcohol and marijuana anyways this year I started going to music festivals and me and my friends did molly for the first time over a span of like 5 monthes I did it like 10 times I'm 24 years old fucked up thing is i tried to play it as safe as possible:( those other friends of mine started doing acid and coke and mushrooms and I'm like no mollys the most I'll do and here I am the one who does the least amount of drugs and I'm fucked up:( do I wanna live? Fuck ya!!!!!!!!!! Do I wanna live like this? Fuck no my symptoms of hppd are and I have depersonalization by the way are a billion floaters everywhere visual snow light sensitivity head pressure ears feel like there underwater like blocked ear pressure jello legs neck stiffness music doesn't give me that good feeling maybe because my ears are blocked? It's like when I blast music it doesn't sound that loud it's hard to function I have to look left right straight it's like my awareness levels are gone tingling behind my nose muscle spasms twitches in my eyes this all happened 2 monthes ago I took a pink tesla which my friend took the other half he was fine and went to work next dayeverything was fine day after that which is 2 days after I took the pill I got a sudden panic attack my first one ever heart was pounding then a sharp pain in my head and my vision changed this isn't life this is hell in real life can't believe this happened to me:( I have such a big heart just started doing molly this year never touched anything else I can't believe at 24 I might be fucked up forever all dreams and aspirations shattered what's the point of money what's the point of anything if you don't have the pure quality and happiness of life I live for my two sisters my parents bad things really do happen to good people my focus is fucked up when I walk around it's like I'm on a rollercoaster I feel like falling I do excersise everyday now but depression is getting bad man depersonalization derealization hppd this is so messed up I watched all my friends do molly acid ketamine cocaine shrooms and mix drugs and do whatever and I'm like woah there crazy and my sorry ass just took molly and I got fucked up life isn't fair ???
 
You are not fucked up for life so put that debilitating thought out of your head. It may indeed take some time for your brain to heal but if you remain practical (eating right, sleeping, pursuing your interests and continuing to exercise) you will come out of this just fine and a much wiser human being.<3
 
As usual, I totally agree with herbavore.

Your mind constantly whispers to you: "and this is how it will be for ever/I'll feel like this for ever".

This is not the truth.

Think back of all the times you thought you wouldn't be happy ever again. You were wrong then. You are wrong now.

Follow herbavores advice and you will get better.

Vazkor
 
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