Will I ever recover completely?

[BleeziesNHeem858]

Hello everyone, 6 weeks ago was my last pill. I have taken 12 pills over a period of two months. Two of the pills I took were both at once and they were MDA capsules. I have heard MDA is more neurotoxic. Since the last pill I've been having depression, anxiety, mood swings, memory impairment, and sleep problems. Sometimes if I don't get enough sleep I have "shadow" hallucinations in my peripheral vision. I also feel like my emotions have been dulled somewhat. And before ecstasy I wasn't usually someone to get depressed but now I have been even getting suicidal. I have concluded that I have done some neurotoxic damage to my serotonin receptors. For the first few weeks I was off of ecstasy it was really bad yet I have noticed that it's very slowly getting better. The hallucinations and anxiety have passed and the depression doesn't feel as bad as it did at first. I also "lost the magic" once I took my last pill. My question is if there is a chance I will ever feel the same way I did before I popped my first pill? How do you know how much ecstasy it takes to make permanent damage or temporary damage? Are there any supplements I can try to help rebuild my receptors? I've tried 5-HTP and L-Tyrosine but they only work temporarily. I am starting to lose hope. I am only 15. I guess the neurotoxic effects hit me a lot faster than other people. I'm never gonna touch E again.

 

[Cheechy]

First of all, you likely gained a tolerance as opposed to "losing the magic". You are likely psyching yourself out. Your abuse was not great, but i really don't think that amount of pills would be giving you side effects after this amount of time. Take a break from drugs, get some good sleep, eat healthy. You should feel fine.

if not, go see a doctor.

 

[nanchan]

12 pills in 2 months really isn't that bad compared to a lot of peoples' abuse. Just take a long break and wait it out.

 

[lowbie]

12 pills is nothing you will definitely recover 100%, just try to leave a month between doses and don't go overboard

 

[No Consequence]

Like they said, 12 pills over 2 months is not that bad. Sure it is a lot more than a seasonal user should use, or any user at that, but that doesn't seem like enough to create permanent damage i would think. And you've already been off e for at least a few weeks? You shoudn't be feeling any depression or anxiety now..
I don't think you lost the magic, i think your tolerance is just high now. Your serotonin has been depleted and you haven't given it enough time to recover (people say it takes a month to replenish).
It's possible the MDMA happens to be affecting you along with other problems (coincidence)? Or maybe because you're 15 and your brain hasnt fully developed yet..

You should be completely fine with time. The more you think about it, the worse it will seem.

 

[guy1234]

people consume near that number in single nights :S maybe you are experiencing a negative placebo, you have taken some drugs and now you amplify certain feelings and blamed on the pills because you feel they should