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Will I ever get this outta my head?

B

beels

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 13, 2015
Messages
130
Location
BrownTown
Hey,

This is a question for people who have injected drugs in the past/still are, or know someone who has.

Basically, I was clean recently for 3 weeks, from everything even alcohol. It was hard but to celebrate, I got wasted and now I am back where I started.

I want to know if I will ever get the idea of injecting out of my head, because it haunts me, I inject various drugs and have been for about a year now, when I have breaks, all I think about is the needle.

I wish I never started but my god its such an amazing rush that I don't enjoy certain drugs any other way.

How can I forget IV. Its so hard.
 
The short answer is yes you can, although it's rarely easy. It's unlikely to just happen by itself to begin with to, you need to get some strategies in place for taking yourself out of that mindset when the desire for a needle is on you.
 
Narcotics Anonymous meetings are helpful i recommend them
You don't really have to be religious for it to work either, they just tell you that.
 
It'll be really hard to forget entirely about it

but I really was obsessed with it, I couldn't begin to estimate how many times I've injected (probably over 20,000 times in 6 years, or less)

and honestly I quit, I haven't injected in over 3 and 3/4 months. I feel good about this.

I still think about it, a lot, and stuff, but I don't let it make me feel bad. I just know I don't need to inject drugs and I feel good about not doing that to myself anymore.
 
Maybe you will; maybe you won't. I certainly have. It's the first few months after quitting that were the toughest- and then the obsession becomes fewer and far between within my internal discourse- finally fading off into obscurity. Only one way to find out....
 
Try to accept that u will be obsessing about using for a while because the hook for IV is so deep.this was my biggest problem i would fight the thoughts from coming into my head when if u just think over it and finish the thought with a reason not to use it will be much easier. Its like the thoughts of a first love that will never come back but everyday u spend without them it will get easier.it will not happen quickly but slowly the more time u spend away the less intense the cravings will be
 
beels said:
Hey,

This is a question for people who have injected drugs in the past/still are, or know someone who has.

Basically, I was clean recently for 3 weeks, from everything even alcohol. It was hard but to celebrate, I got wasted and now I am back where I started.

I want to know if I will ever get the idea of injecting out of my head, because it haunts me, I inject various drugs and have been for about a year now, when I have breaks, all I think about is the needle.

I wish I never started but my god its such an amazing rush that I don't enjoy certain drugs any other way.

How can I forget IV. Its so hard.
Click to expand...

You will. It will take time, but eventually you will. It sounds like you are going through PAWS right now. The needle just became part of your daily life and part of your way of living. It will be ingrained in your memory forever, but one day soon, it won't be so strong and you won't feel the urges so bad. It takes time, but it will happen.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
It'll be really hard to forget entirely about it

but I really was obsessed with it, I couldn't begin to estimate how many times I've injected (probably over 20,000 times in 6 years, or less)

and honestly I quit, I haven't injected in over 3 and 3/4 months. I feel good about this.
Click to expand...
Is that a REAL title?!?!

OP: I don't know if the craving ever really truly goes away. You just gotta redirect focus into the "why", the sorrow, the pain...
 
@captain.Heroin

Yeah man did you just do it on your own?

I think it'll never leave the back of my mind, I mean it is the ultimate high. but Sadly it causes so much destruction to yourself and others.

I am seeking help and support from local professionals and hopefully this time in 6 months I wont even wanna look at a needle.

Do you feel you never tried it in the first place?

I do, I wish I never tried it, but now I understand why people need it. Nothing on this planet can make you feel what you feel when you bang a fat hit of H, wizz, chop whatever. It truly is the ultimate experience.
 
Im seeing someone on monday, similar to NA, but a local organisation that can help and do one to one sessions, which i feel more comfortable with. I've tried stopping on my own and I know now, it can't be done.

I am too weak. There are too many friends that still use occasionally and see no harm in it, fair enough for them, but I am different and i can't stop once I start. I get myself in debt regularly just to have a good time.

Addiction, is a self inflicted disease, but it is a disease IMO, a constant battle in my head. One day I will beat it. It can be done. Bluelight is helping me, this community of people that support and dont judge, its fucking great.
:)
 
I am starting month five of being clean and man right now I'm depressed and all I can think is how much better that stuff would make me feel right now. But I know I will be fine tomorrow and I will just keep trucking along. That's essentially how I got here was just promising myself it will get better someday. Most days I don't think about it but I do everything I can to keep my mind occupied by other things. Even most of my self reflection time has little to do with the needle. But it does tend to strike with a vengeance every once in awhile. I also have to admit, it really helped in the beginning I did kinda what you did. About 3 weeks in I just couldn't take it anymore and did a shot, my body itched so bad I accidentally dug a small whole into my leg with my fingernails. After that I always did my best to lie to myself and tell myself I hated it. Keep in mind this was me. But yeah, I can tell you at least 5 months later you still get cravings. Side note also, the only help I got was on here.
 
Well done on your clean time. Give yourself a break and realise you are only human. This is natural and you are right where you need to be right now. Recovery takes time and work. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and realise that not every day will feel good and some days will plain suck and sometimes you don't even know why your mood is low. That is just the ups and downs of recovery. Everything passes in time, it is learning to recognise these feelings for what they are and work through them that will maintain your recovery. Staying busy and developing new behavioural habits does help.
 
beels said:
@captain.Heroin

Yeah man did you just do it on your own?

I think it'll never leave the back of my mind, I mean it is the ultimate high. but Sadly it causes so much destruction to yourself and others.

I am seeking help and support from local professionals and hopefully this time in 6 months I wont even wanna look at a needle.

Do you feel you never tried it in the first place?

I do, I wish I never tried it, but now I understand why people need it. Nothing on this planet can make you feel what you feel when you bang a fat hit of H, wizz, chop whatever. It truly is the ultimate experience.
Click to expand...

I'm glad I tried it for intrinsic reasons. I'm equally glad I quit.
 
Yeah guys, thanks for all your support and advice,

You're right keeping occupied is the best way I am gonna get back to the gym and try them natural endorphines everyone raves about haha.

Some people are stronger than others, I consider myself weak, hence seeking extra support.

WE can all do it eventuallly but fuck it one more session tomorrow, get rid of whats here, then bye bye to the needles.

Thanks again to all of you, I feel stronger just from reading this.
 
It takes around two years to recover from significant loss. Losing a limb, a loved one, divorce, alcohol and drug addiction...after about 2 years you will one day become suddenly aware that you have not thought about your loss for several weeks...as if it never happened. On that day you will know that you are free. You will float around with feelings of liberation for some time...loving life, perhaps like never before.
Best wishes always.
 
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