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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Will I ever feel normal again?

I just looked up alliteration, I've never heard that word before. I didn't even realize I was doing it lol, I guess I do it automatically to emphasize things that I feel strongly about.
 
hurrah! well said, riseagain! you got it. and you still have to do your life, but with that flame inside you can.
 
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How things bro? I've been off for a few days with some issues but I'm just poppin in to see what's up. So the shrooms were goo eh? Lol. Those things bug me the fuck out! You should write a book dude, that would be some crazy shit. Fuck it, what do u got to lose right? Well I hope your feeling a little better today man, I'll ttyl!
 
I'm doing pretty good, by my standards lol. How've you been? Can you send me a link to your story? I had a look but I couldn't find it.

I didn't use the shrooms recreationally. I'be been doing research into the therapeutic effects of psychedelics and how they can be used to cure PTSD.

I have a lot of experience with psychedellics from when I was younger so I knew exactly what I was doing. I wouldn't reccommend it to anyone else unless they were experienced or it was done in a controlled setting with a medical professional, I still knew that I was taking a huge risk, it could have gone either way but it worked out quite well :) I really hope all of those MAPS studies take off, it could help a lot of people.

I evaluated things based on my experience and research and decided shrooms were the best option. They helped a lot, IMO they would be much more effective for treating PTSD than MDMA, but on the flip side they would also be much more likely to make things worse than MDMA.

I might post a detailed trip report in the future.
 
That's awesome bro! Glad to hear the shrooms worked out for you. Last time I took some shroom brownies I had a bad go of it so I gotta chill with those for now. You gotta be in the right headspace for that shit and I probably wasn't at the time. I've been good, worried about a dr appt. tomorrow, same ol shit. Well it's good to see you feeling a bit better today, good to know those shrooms worked. I'll see if I can find that link, it's gotta be somewhere on this thing lol, ttyl bro
 
I just received a final recall notice for my car in the mail. My car was recalled in December last year and they've been sending me letters that I never received.

My parents have a habit of stealing my mail (especially if it looks important) and I've caught them multiple times. Lucky I got to the mailbox first today or their wish might have come true. I called the dealership and they said they sent the final letter via registered post since I hadn't responded to the other ones and they thought they might have the wrong address, and then they took my details and confirmed that they had the CORREECT address.

Time to make a police report?
 
RiseAgain said:
I just received a final recall notice for my car in the mail. My car was recalled in December last year and they've been sending me letters that I never received.

My parents have a habit of stealing my mail (especially if it looks important) and I've caught them multiple times. Lucky I got to the mailbox first today or their wish might have come true. I called the dealership and they said they sent the final letter via registered post since I hadn't responded to the other ones and they thought they might have the wrong address, and then they took my details and confirmed that they had the CORREECT address.

Time to make a police report?
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Idk man, I'm thinking maybe just taking the high ground might be the way to go here. Calling the cops will probably just result in more drama, yelling and arguing and more bad blood. I'd just make it known that u CAN call the cops and have them arrested but since your not like them you won't as long as this stops happening and they grow up and act like big boys and girls...
 
Thanks cliffy. I took your advice and confronted my dad when he came home, he responded by grabbing me and trying to forcibly lock me out of the house, so I punched him in the face to get him off me and then he called the cops to try to have me charged with assualt.

The cops came and I said it was self defence, but apparently it's ok for my dad to assault me because it's his house and "he can use whatever force he deems neccesary". I was then told that if they came back I would be charged with assault. I'm seriously going to fucking snap. I can't even go to the doctor to get more pain meds cause I don't trust myself to leave the house.
 
hey RiseAgain, i'm sorry to hear about the immense amount of conflict and tension you are experiencing with your parents.

i skimmed through most of the thread, and i think it already came up but i couldn't find a clear answer.

why do you still live with your parents? i'm not trying to dismiss the gravity of your situation, or patronise. i just wanted to know what things are stopping you from getting out of such a toxic environment. i just can't see how this is going to play out in any form of positive way if you are under the thumb of what seems like sadistic people.
 
Mysterie, I still live with my parents because I am trapped. I have no-one to turn to, I'm unable to work and I can't function at all. I have no life skills, or social skills and I have a lot of health problems. I pretty much lie in bed all day waiting for death. I can't trust anybody I know, cause the only people I know are my parent's friends and I'm honestly unable to trust anybody at all. I grew up in this hell, it's all I know and I don't even have the slightest fucking clue where to begin.
 
Also I can't handle going out in public because I'm covered in scars, I have tits, shitloads of excess skin and permanent tremors and ticks from all the meds. I just want to be treated like an actual person, but I don't think that's ever going to happen.
 
You have been through most than what the majority will ever experience and once you overcome this you will be all the more powerful. Drugs do enlighten and help you see patterns you wouldn't have otherwise seen. But there will come a time when that enlightening, experimental part will pass and you will find yourself in the throws of addiction. That too will bring you knowledge. I am sorry to hear what you went through but for what it is worth I hated my sister for her abuse until I got high one day on a drug that is irrelevant to mention, I saw she too was a victim of bad parenting and so I wrote her a letter, high as kite yet honestly sincere, and now we have an awesome relationship.
Take it upon yourself to find a proper therapist. If they are right for you then they truly will work. You have experienced tremendous trauma but deep down you are still you. Never give up finding yourself no matter what is working against you. Cultivate compassion and remember your parents are victims of trauma too. Were they in a healthy mindset they would not have harmed you the way they did.
 
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