Yeah, subutex is a wonder drug for me. Don't know if I'll taper lower than 4mg or not but for now I feel normal and 'good', wake up and look forward to the day, look forward to going to work, feel good at work, feel good at home after work, etc, etc. No zoned out 'high' or nod but at the beginning, and middle, and end of the day I'm feeling good to be me and good to be alive. Wish the first psychiatrist I saw just prescribed me this shit. I started off on zoloft before even even trying dope before. Rolled with various anti-d's, etc, did a stint with a massive coke habit, dabbled with h, binged on dope off and on in large quantities for short periods of time (like a few days to a week or so)... that was all after I 'got sober' from booze.
15 yrs later and am finding that 4mg of subutex and small dose of a benzo and I'm finally feeling normal and good and feel like I think that 'normal' people who are functional and happy in life feel. Friggin amazing for me.
I'm no angel and still dabble with dope but see that as basically a mistake now. I'm better off on just the subutex and small dose of kpin.
Thanks to all the support and info from all the mods and members here! I feel like I now see, and am moving toward 'the light at the end of the tunnel' and have the capacity to live the life I was meant to live. To be happy and content. May the rest of you find peace and contentment in whatever way works for you. Don't give up if your struggling, my life has been shit since my earliest memories from the age of 2. Now I'm content and positive and productive and look forward to and am actually starting to enjoy life for the first time EVER. And I"m in my friggin mid 40's. Never thought it would be possible for me. Hell, might turn to shit tomorrow and stay that way. But for the past month my life has changed for the better in so many ways I can't even begin to describe. Still have ups and downs but I can't put into words how great it is to feel like I think 'normal' people feel. People who didn't get fucked over as kids and get their mind fucked over and didnt wind up feeling like a piece of shit with no hope (periods of doing OK were in there here and there) but nothing like this!
Just can't put it into words. Thank you all so much for everything. I just can't even begin to decribe the postive changes I've experienced over the past month or so. Think subutex around 4mg is the major factor for me. And the longest I was ever addicted to an opiate was less than 2 weeks without cold kicking, mostly 'chipped' for the past 2 yrs and have been using 'illegal' drugs off and on for 30 years. Never tried dope till 10 yrs ago, chipped for a yr then massive coke habit for a cpl yrs after weekend use for a cpl yrs before that. So I'm not coming from a steady opiate habit (don't know if that matters and am not tring to give the impression that I think Im better than anyone who has or has had one, just stating my personal history/use of it and other stuff).
But it seems like it is and was the missing link my brain needed to make me feel normal. Sorry to detract from the OP's questions in this thread. It's just reading or hearing or thinking about bupe for me makes me want to scream YES! I love it! It's helping me SOOO MUCH!!!!
Peace,
Titus