Wow man, that's quite a post. I agree with you in terms of fearing death. Death means the ceasing of it all. You're no longer there. I have never died though, but my experiences in life have led me to not fear it. I do, however, have empathy for my loved ones and I fear it in that sense, because of the pain it would leave people with. It doesn't matter that I'm no longer there to see them suffer. THEY will be there, suffering, and I care about that. What I actually fear the most is someone I love dying. I lost my father recently, it was weird because he had ALS and it was 6 grueling years of slowly dying. But to just suddenly have my girlfriend, or brother, or someone else I love, just die in a car accident or something... it's my worst fear, because that pain would be like nothing else.
So basically, I don't fear death for myself, but I fear the pain of loss if I remain.
As an aside, you said you've been dead and came back. Was it like anything? Some people report various experiences like rising up and seeing their bodies, or going towards a light, or a variety of other things. I'm just curious if you experienced anything. My theory (actually it's my friend's theory) is this: we know there is residual brain activity after death for something like 24-36 hours. Not full brain activity of course, but a slowly diminishing electrical activity. My theory is that during that time is when you experience the "afterlife". And it's going to be whatever it is you expect it or believe it to be.
I think we're all the universe experiencing itself subjectively in an infinity of ways through all forms of life simultaneously. We are all the same consciousness. But when this individual manifestation dies, it's gone.