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Why women are attracted to the assholes

Oh no, here comes the science.

But on another note, mmmmm...coconut motorcycle...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
 
The Word said:
mmmmm...coconut motorcycle...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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See? It's no wonder women go so crazy over these guys! Who except a non-caring care-bear wouldn't be tempted by a fucking coconut motorcycle??
 
This is for the ladies.

What makes some woman want to be with assholes instead of being with a guy that would actually treat them right? Why would anybody want to be treated like shit?
 
I'll speak from my own experience (as a female) . .

I have been attracted to assholes before. I think a lot of it might be that I thought that if I talked with him enough on a secure, trusting level, that he'd show his nice side. Anger usually means something is wrong.. women are nurturing by nature.

I think a lot of it might also be that if a guy is sometimes an ass to me, I try to get him to change. There are usually so many things that make you attracted to a guy, beyond physical stuff. But getting someone to change.. well, you can't really ask them of that. Or put yourself through hell expecting it.

Nice guys aren't very common. You should realize that you have more chances in having a decent relationship than some arrogant prick. . Whats the story with the girl in question? Hope you feel better soon.
 
Nice guys aren't very common

That's because they get fed up with not getting girls and end up becoming arseholes themselves to please you girls. I am what you would call 'a nice guy' i guess...and im not gonna change just cause girls are attracted to arseholes...seriously, the girls who go for that type of guy are fucking idiots who aren't worth dating anyway, tbh.
 
SmC said:
seriously, the girls who go for that type of guy are fucking idiots who aren't worth dating anyway, tbh.
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Just because some girls are confused/make mistakes doesn't make them 'fucking idiots' or unworthy of dating. . A lot of assholes aren't assholes at the beginning. Some people change throughout the relationship. A reason a girl would hold onto a troubled relationship would probably be because she is trying to fix it. Holding onto what was, or what could've been, etc etc.

Also, you never really know how a couple interacts alone, what she might have said to precipitate bad behaviour and all that. He could come off as an asshole but be a really nice guy to her. . you just never know.

Don't be so quick to judge ! :)
 
fenix_starr said:
I'll speak from my own experience (as a female) . .

I have been attracted to assholes before. I think a lot of it might be that I thought that if I talked with him enough on a secure, trusting level, that he'd show his nice side. Anger usually means something is wrong.. women are nurturing by nature.

I think a lot of it might also be that if a guy is sometimes an ass to me, I try to get him to change. There are usually so many things that make you attracted to a guy, beyond physical stuff. But getting someone to change.. well, you can't really ask them of that. Or put yourself through hell expecting it.
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Exactly. That and I think its also a little of that "want what you cant have" they kind of keep you on your toes. However, I personally am not one to go for those kinds of guys. Most girls that do will figure out that it gets old fast, and they eventually learn to like nice guys, so dont worry, you still have hope.
 
Aren't there enough of these threads floating around? Nice guys generally don't have the confidence that the so called arseholes have, nice guys generally don't challenge girls enough so they get bored easily etc etc. There are a million reasons girls want to be with a guy that treats them wrongly, some include low self-esteem, a mothering nature of wanting to fix the guy, not knowing better etc etc.
 
Merged.

ghtto_cwby said:
What makes some woman want to be with assholes instead of being with a guy that would actually treat them right? Why would anybody want to be treated like shit?
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In answer to your particular question, he probably treated her just fine when they first got together, maybe he even treated her great. But then time wears on and he becomes more and more sure she loves him and won't leave him and he starts taking her for granted. Maybe he even starts thinking he can do better, no doubt because she is always reinforcing how great he is.

So, he starts treating her kind of crappy. She doesn't get it at first, things are normally so great. She thinks maybe she did something wrong, she tries to fix it so they can regain what they had, meaning that she is trying even harder in the relationship, this allows him to take her for granted even more. A cycle is created.

What makes you so sure you would treat her right? I mean, they all say that :\
 
I just found this essay written by a poster on another forum - this is NOT my work... but if anyone has the patience to read it, it's well-worth it. There's much more to it... linkage at the end of the end of the article :).

The ‘Bad-Boy’ Factor
It is well known that confidence is a very attractive attribute, especially for males, but few really comprehend why this is so.
The founding principle of confidence is indifference to specific particulars and a poise derived by the certainty that eventual success is attainable in the general.

For example, when attempting to find a job confidence is derived by the self-assurance that a job will be found eventually despite any particular, specific failures, whereas non-confidence is based on the desperation of being dependant on the acquisition of a single, particular job position which becomes exaggerated in significance. This confidence, in turn, gets translated to physical composure, mental focus and efficiency of movement which desperation, through panic and anxiety, lacks.

That confidence rests on a foundation of indifference may be a difficult concept to accept, especially in matters of sexual intimacy where ‘love’, ‘compassion’, ‘trust’ ‘respect’ and ‘dependence’ are considered to be the romantic ideal, but nevertheless I believe evidence abounds as to its veracity. The ‘bad-boy’ factor is a case in point.

It is evident, to all that understand the characteristics of the ‘bad-boy’, that the brash, swaggering and often abusive confidence, that makes them irresistible to females, is rooted in a general indifference caused by an overabundance of sexual options. For certain men, that can have their pick of women, the specific individual woman becomes irrelevant, making them confident and arrogant enough to display their true male character and individual personality with little regard as to the consequences.

Confidence and independence also expresses an abundance of choice caused by access to superfluous resources that makes a specific supply of marginal importance.

For females, that are genetically predisposed to seek out resources and genetic health, this aspect of maleness becomes attractive because it also reveals a males marketability and desirability. When a male has multiple sexual options then he must be an asset worth considering, when he has limited choices then his obsession with a particular female, far from remaining flattering, becomes unattractive and even repulsive.

This will also explain the phenomenon of adultery where males that are married or attached somehow become more attractive to females just because they are taken by other females and it sheds some light into the phenomenon where women remain in often abusive relationships.

It is ironic that women find men attractive that are relatively indifferent to them specifically and find men unappealing that are infatuated with them specifically [The ‘nice’ guy they want to remain friends with].

It is also noteworthy, that in a more general application of the indifference rule, that we become more successful in the things we do not really need, desire or obsess over and less so in the things we badly yearn for. Life itself, when the matter of death is overcome and a general indifference to mortality is achieved, becomes more enjoyable and rewarding but when we frantically deny death and find clever ways to ensure immortality through religion, we display the desperation and anxious strain that restricts life and limits our existence.

To ‘not care’ does not mean to ‘not value’ but it does mean to be ‘independent from’. This independence displays itself in confidence, pride, self-reliance and contentment that others will perceive intuitively, and wishing to share in it, will be inevitably attracted to.
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CLICK ME FOR MORE...
 
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I think most women are not attracted to "assholes", but there is no doubt they are attracted to the alpha male in the vicinity. The guy with the most confidence that is indifferent to the surrounding women and who has the respect of the fellow men around him.

I have found that when I have a girlfriend and go out with friends, I just am out to have a good time and impress no one. I am a confident person naturally, and am easy going with friends and strangers. This also allows me to be flirtatious with girls, but not sleazy, not trying to pick them up, just smiling and joking around. I am not out to go home with another girl, I am more than happy with my current GF. The end result is that girls start to like me and flirt back. No - I am not an egomaniac. Actually, I am pretty bad at recognizing when girls like me, I hear it from others.

So what I have found is there is no reason to be "mean" or obnoxiously arrogant, but a little cockyness and arrogance is good. The mean guys, the real assholes, sure - they will find girls, but the girls are going to be (for the most part, from what I have seen personally) girls with low self esteem and self worth. They might be good for some good sex and being able to totally dominate them, but are usually emotional wrecks and not terribly smart. They do not interest me.

In my experience - a combination of high confidence, mixed with some arrogance and a bit of cockyness, with a good sense of wit, and the abilty to go just go out and enjoy yourself and not try to impress anyone - the girls will come to you, or at least flirt. Don't rush anything, just have fun. Of course keeping yourself groomed and attractive is usually a good idea, unless you are the type of guy that can pull off the "mountain man" / hippie look. but I have meet great looking girls while looking like hell, and it didn't seem to matter.

The more you care about meeting them, the less likely it will happen. they can just smell it on you.
 
Ladies what kind of guy do you prefer and why?

Assholes:p ? OR Nice Guys:) ?

For those of you that like nice guys can you give me advice on what a man has to do to get a good women that wants a nice guy and not an asshole?

For those of you that like assholes, can you give me some advice on how to avoid those kind of women, because I'm a nice guy and I'm tired of getting my heart broken always falling for a girl that wants an asshole over a nice guy.
 
Scanning through what's been written, Irealise how damned hilarious my previous posts are. Coconut motorcycle! priceless!
See, a big-cocked rutmonkey would be the one to actually build it, out of his own nuts. Women would cling to it like burberries.
 
Because they like the challenge of a player. I would never wait by the phone for a girl to call. However, I would wait by the phone to get my RX filled :)
 
SmC said:
Nice guys aren't very common

That's because they get fed up with not getting girls and end up becoming arseholes themselves to please you girls. I am what you would call 'a nice guy' i guess...and im not gonna change just cause girls are attracted to arseholes...seriously, the girls who go for that type of guy are fucking idiots who aren't worth dating anyway, tbh.
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I dont think the nice guy who starts acting like an asshole, for whatever reason, was ever a nice guy to begin with. Are they nice because its in their character, or are they nice because it serves their purposes?
 
I've only read pages one and six, so I don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but I have a nother little spin to add to this; compliments from a nice guy mean very little. If you're a guy who's nice and friendly to everyone, what does it mean if you're nice to a girl? It won't make her feel special. If I was a girl and I knew a guy who'd tell any girl with low self esteem that she's smart and pretty, whether or not she is, I wouldn't care if he called me smart and pretty. On the other hand, an arrogant, self-absorbed guy can (sometimes) really make a girl feel good. If he thinks he's better than everyone else and insults or ignores most people, it really means something if he acts nice to a girl. It means that she's special and all that shit. Therefore, it may make more sense to some girls to try to win the hearts of assholes than nice guys.
 
Maybe it's that girls generally like confident and "powerful" guys...so the dumb girls (i.e. the majority, since most people are dumb IMNSHO) go for the dumb, confident guys, i.e. cockjocks, oafs, morons.
 
Because women like the thrill of the chase. A guy being an asshole is more of a turn on...as long as he's not being too much of an asshole. I've had guys that were overly nice to me, and just wanted to shower me with compliments and love...and they turned me off. Basically because I didn't feel like I had to work to get them to like me. I've always liked a more "manly" attitude rather than a "womanly" one...you know what I mean? Nice guys just seem so girly to me. I want a guy that's rough and tough. :D

Plus, if a guy is an asshole, he's probably aggressive in bed...which is a good thing.
 
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