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Why is over coming addiction so hard for us?

I really did not get another chance for it violates my probation.
It's only a matter of time that the new probation officer is going to see that new conviction and lock me up.
She is suppose to be coming over tonight for a house visit. Hopefully, she will not lock me up then.
 
w0w0mg said:
I really did not get another chance for it violates my probation.
It's only a matter of time that the new probation officer is going to see that new conviction and lock me up.
She is suppose to be coming over tonight for a house visit. Hopefully, she will not lock me up then.
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Either way, keep up the determination to stay clean man. We can do it, one day at a time. :)
 
The answer is your body and the friends you are surrounded by so try to get friends that doesn't have a bad habit. And a good responsible girlfriend is a big help. Because if you're by yourself is hard but not impossible.
 
w0w0mg said:
I have been pondering this question for so long.
I want to stop this vicious cycle of hell, and I go thru these detoxes, the hell of it all,
and when I start feeling better, my mind tricks me into doing it all over again.

Why is this?

Why does my mind play tricks on me?
Why does it tell me it's okay? Knowing it's just going to bring back the hell of withdrawals and misery?
I fight this daily, every second it's on my mind, I have fighting the urge and it is such a struggle.
I have been addicted to opiates since I was 16 and now I am 24.
All this addiction has lead me is to jail, rehabs, mental hospitals, being homeless, and losing the trust of loved ones.
People tell me time is key - take it one day at a time - however, I have had 11 months clean once upon a time, and
I still ended up using again. The mental aspect takes over and overwhelms me - I feel like I am a lost cause and this
will just end in death eventually. I am killing myself, and the ones that love me.
NA has never helped me.
I worked steps, found sponsors, built networks, and tried my hardest to be in recovery but failed at that too.

There are some people here with years clean and I envy you all. I am here sick - shivering - nose pouring and skin crawling just wanting to feel better.
I am trying to kick this habit of IV heroin once again and it's pretty damn hard because I feel like my hope has been lost since I relapsed after about 2 weeks.
Now I am trying to fight the urge to go commit fraud to obtain money to get a fix. I am trying so hard to fight the urge.
I just feel like sometimes all hope is lost due to the fact regardless how many times I get clean, I repeat the cycle and start using again.

This is just a rant and to get some of this off my chest.
I love you all, you have all stuck by my side like nobody has ever done.
You're all like my family, that I have never had.
I wish I could hug all of you, and wish you all lived right next door because you treat me so much better and care more than anyone from NA has.

Thank you everyone. I am trying my best to get over this detox again. I am taking it slow, not trying to rush, and now allowing my mind tempt me into using.
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You and I seem to share a lot of similar experiences and feelings about addiction. I've been using only a little longer than your 18-27, and I think that (especially after being homeless and strung out for a substantial period of time) we begin to just accept our addiction as our life, and in time its not just the drug we need, but the purpose and drive. Heroin and benzodiazepines gave me a purpose to get up in the morning. When you take that away you're left wondering what the fuck to do, because it wasn't just the numbing euphoria that distracts us from our real issues, its also all the time and effort we put into to obtaining out DOC-we don't have time to think of the route problem of our cause because we're ticking time bombs, and we need to get well before we're too sick to hustle. That's my take on it, and when you've understood it this way and accepted this lifestyle for a while with such a level of self understanding, I know I at least feal truly lost and hopeless at some times.

My only advice is to throw all conventional thoughts and advice out the window and think for yourself, what will truly serve you best-follow that, everything else is usually bullshit, some boozer trying to impose someone else's wisdom as his own on some one else who's truly in a hole.
 
For me personally it's because it's like it was taking away my only coping mechanism having self medicated for quite some time (with alcohol). But when self medicating starts taking a toll on your health and creating a host of other problems then it's probably time to reevaluate what you're doing. That's just been my experience.
 
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