Doesn't this suggest that withdrawl is at least partially psychologic? I'll admit I haven't a clue what I'm talking about, but I've always wondered the same thing that you are now wondering.
If you're not in the mood to consume adult material, would you be willing to draw something nice?
No definitely not. The last time I cold turkeyed (against my will, because both my street dealer had been busted AND my internet connection was down for like 3 days because the stupid telecom company thought it would be a great idea to built fiberoptics into our building during winter) I was vomiting, diarrheing, and writhing on the ground all at the same time due to abdominal pain that felt like somebody put a mixer into my intestines, and much more. The freezing is bad too. It's a kind of inner cold that you cannot rid by bathing in hot water. Even in the desert you feel its icy grips on you. It's definitely not psychosomatic and has neurochemical causes. The problem with opioids is that they are anti-adrenergic and when you suddenly stop taking them, your brain floods your system with adrenaline and noradrenaline, but in all the wrong receptors which cause the wd symptoms. It's not like the doctors thought in the past where they speculated that the wd is caused by a lack of endorphins since the brain expects to receive them through regular intake of opioids. It has all to do with adrenaline production being continuously low.
Now, the mental portion of the wd (which I find the worst honestly), that is anything from the panic attacks, depression, avolition to the ultra-realistic, degenerate nightmares might be indeed caused or exacerbated by the psyche of the person. It's funny when outsiders read the symptoms of opioid withdrawal because it sounds like a bad case of flu mixed with some fever, because you can't accurately describe to outsiders how such a wd truly feels like. The first time I woke up in my bed with wds, y'know experiencing them the first time and all, I thought to myself what the actual FUCK is going on with me. I never knew what anxiety truly feels like until I went through that withdrawal. I was literally panicked about anything at that moment. I was afraid of every sound, felt very thin skinned and had panic attacks to the point were it almost became psychotic and I was close to calling the psychiatric emergency line as I felt that I was close to losing my sanity. The physical shit was nothing compared to what was going on in my mind. If somebody had given me a loaded gun at that point I guarantee you I would have killed myself. I think the only thing that prevented me from screaming for help in my room back when I was still living with my parents was that I didn't want to scare them, much less letting them know that I was a heroin user. I have no idea how I went through those 48h without going insane but I managed it, and from then on I swore to myself to never cold turkey again. Taper off, yes, use Lyrica yes, use speed, yes, but going down to zero? I'll never do that ever again. It was traumatizing to me. I think the fact that it hits you during night and punches you out of your sleep makes it even worse, because your mind is still halfway in the subconsciousness and fear feels much more intense during that time. This is why we often go under the blanket after waking up from a nightmare, but laugh at the content later during the day when our counscious mind has already taken over.
Methamphetamine definitely gives me pain relief. At least for the first 4-6hrs or so. It's different than opioid pain relief, but it's still pain relief nonetheless.
Hey DI88, I always like to hear your input
I never touched meth. I think americans think of meth when they hear speed, but I was talking of amphetamine sulphate. I tried all drugs, but for some reason I never wanted to touch meth and crack. Meth because it just lasts too damn long. I'm already starting to hallucinate after 48h or so, and on meth you're awake for days I have heard. With amp sulphate I can take a line, it lasts 6h and when I want more I can snort another line. But with meth you can't sleep even after the high is long over. You're still in this cold and gross wired state.
Well, and with crack...I think that's obvious: I've never seen dopefiends sell ridiculous shit that nobody wants like a "hot water knob", but crackheads do it and that shows me how much more powerful a crack addiction is. Strangely though I have my cocaine habit perfectly under control.
Lol I just realized that I managed to answer you guys, which means that I haven't been sucked into the dark vortex of porn binging. I actually hate porn you know. There are some studies that show how porn not only destroys relationships but can actually cause and promote depression. Well, that counts for regular porn consumption, but I only watch porn when high as fuck on stims...and have also weird kinks and fetishes that I don't have when sober. Amps are a weird drug. Also, I feel bad for porn actors because they are often coerced into this dirty industry. I feel bad for supporting it, even if it's just when I'm on stims. That's why I am always ridden by feelings of guilt when I come down.
But let's forget all this for now. I'm currently thinking about whether I should spend this night being creative on Adobe Illustrator or delving deeper into the mysteries of sacred geometry...or waste time on Bitchute watching conspiracy videos. The latter however might not be such a good idea after 24h of wakefulness because it might put me into a paranoid state like last time. I wrote about this incident here:
https://bluelight.org/xf/threads/what-drugs-did-you-do-on-christmas.744638/page-14#post-15732222
My post there might read funny but it felt like a nightmare when I was psychotic.
Hmmm, I think I have nothing to say anymore...for now lol.
