why i wanted to be a junkie

[the other side]

no one ever says they want to be a junkie when they grow up,
right?
then why do people aim to be the "bad" kid in school?
to be the hardcore drug user?
to be so fucked up they don't know what they are doing anymore?
because we equate being bad
using drugs
being free of obligation and duty
with being cool.
popular.
a fucking rock star.
and when you cut your lines of coke
and shove them up your nose,
you have the biggest urge to yell
"I said god damn!"
just like mia wallace in pulp fiction.
she's got class
money
power
and drugs.
well being the bad kid is easy
and wanting to be a junkie is taking the easy way out.
there is something tempting about worrying about nothing at all
except where you'll get your next fix.
being the bad kid means no one expects anything out of you
and you don't have to expect anything out of yourself, either.
if you fail,
then it's fine
because everyone thought you would anyway
you don't let anyone down
not even yourself.
you aim to fail
and you do.
a lot of the great rock stars died of a drug overdose.
its cool to be a tortured soul
to turn to drugs
to help you go numb.
well i want to be a legend
just like the great rock stars.
i'll live like they do
i'll be a badass and sleep around.
maybe that will give me the self confidence i never had.
i'll think i'm better than everyone else
because i do drugs
because i'm just a washed up junkie
"it won't happen to me"
but what if you want it to?
what if you want to be that tortured soul?
what if you aim to be the bad one?
then you will succeed -
not in life,
but in being a junkie.
congrats.
you've just ruined your life.

 

[apocalyptic vendetta]

sadness.
but, we'll all be ok in the end.
we get what we deserve.
your choice, or is it?
[ 01 February 2002: Message edited by: apocalyptic vendetta ]

 

[amber ::]

being the bad kid means no one expects anything out of you
and you don't have to expect anything out of yourself, either.
if you fail,
then it's fine
because everyone thought you would anyway
you don't let anyone down
not even yourself.
you aim to fail
and you do.
my life in a mellow little nut shell.

 

[yoUr bLiSS]

wow

 

[ice-9]

 

[up all night]

raw and real. i said god damn.
[ 01 February 2002: Message edited by: up all night ]

 

[SexayRaverHere]

i hear ya!
::heather::