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why does sobriety look so unappealing?

gypsiejunkie

gypsiejunkie

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 17, 2013
Messages
122
Location
Topeka ks
Being addicted is absolute misery so why does sobroety look so fake and unappealing to me? I grew up in a family where my dad was an addict along with his whole family. I saw the damage done i still resent him to this day but for some reason excuse my own addiction. My whole family seems to glorify the tragedy of addiction especially when my uncle commited suicide. i dont even know why or how it seems to be a rite of passage in my family but that seems to be the case. I HAVE to get sober but fuck its all i know to be a fuck up and its hard to want to be succesful and happy...does that sound weird?? It does to me. Anyone else have this predicament?
 
I think complete sobriety is rather dull. Drugs in moderation makes life more appealing in my opinion.

Anyways, perhaps the image of being successful and happy in your mind was forged by what being successful and happy apparently looks like if that makes any sense. For myself, the seemingly general idea of being successful and happy looks a lot like a 40 hour work week, owning a car and a home, and having a family, but having all those things wouldn't actually make me feel successful or happy. If my life ended up looking like everyone else's I'd be rather depressed even if I had all the right 'ingredients'. Perhaps you need to find something that will make you happy. If there's nothing, then there's something you can work on. Also, since you're an addict I can only assume that your neurochemical balance is out of whack, which in itself would make it difficult to find something that would make you happy. I've gone through depression many times, I believe it's more so a chemical imbalance than faulty thought process, since I'm genetically pre-disposed to it and during those phases I find it almost impossible to find something that would make me happy.
 
Being an addict.. it's very hard to see beyond that. It changes your brain chemistry..literally makes you a different person, so you can no longer comprehend what it means to be sober.

But you have to ask yourself... are you really that happy now? Most of the time, if you're deep enough into addiction (which almost everyone eventually becomes) the answer is no.

Being sober is a scary prospect, especially if it's been a long time since you've been clean... There are pros and cons to being sober, but at least then you don't have the drugs themselves holding you back and making you miserable. You get the choice back. You can make your own happiness..make your life what you want it to be.

Don't fear it. Many people worry about failure and the responsibility of being sober. Don't think of it that way. Think about all the awesome shit in life you can actually do when clean... Being a drug addict is not a life, man. Not a good one anyway.
 
Thanks for the replies! I probably shouldve added a few things. i definately agree that addiction is clouding my mind. And no i am not happy by any means but the thing that is crazy to me is that i practically strived to become an addict (until i got to where i am of course) its like i was born one. always searching. i mean since as young as i can remember i was miserable sober. I do believe that i was born with/into anxiety and depression and probably everything gone wrong here is a mental health issue. I guess i just dont get why it seems like a lot of addicts didnt see what was coming and had at least some point in life where they werent fiending and i was told many times at a young age i was born a fiend (haha) i mean i knew what i was doing and with all the misery and shit in this world i never wanted to just go around hangin out with my "girlfriends" thinking life is good. because it never was. Hopefully this makes since. i read this book on addiction that said if theres no healthier self to return to you just have to create a new self. oh ok! Thanks for listening to my ramblings!
 
Oh yea! Important! I already have 2 little ingredients that i love with everything i have in me! And some people *me* cant fuck around with anything or else they will be out of control. If i quit i have to QUIT unfortunately. part of why its hard for me to imagine sometimes is that in a very disfunctional way i loved my fucked up childhood. it was exciting and dark and i didnt turn out to be a moron like "normal" kids with "normal" parents. Also my drug addicted dad was way more fun and comfortable to be around than my sober mentally ill mother (i keep getting paranoid shes gonna find my posts on here haha) so in some terrible way sometimes i feel superior as a parent because im not sugar coating things and life is a crazy adventure. i know this is terrible and cannot be a right frame of mind...deep dark confessions here...yikes
 
it sucks to grow up around addiction and then end up an addict yourself but it happens a lot and people do get sober even under those circumstances i don't want to get sober i'm still fooling myself that i will be able to control my use please don't do that it's misery
 
I would make the case for sobriety, but I balance it with occasional bouts of drug use, binges even...

I'm lucky that they've never taken hold of me, and that following a binge, I love sobriety and being obsessive with my health.

I'm rambling, but I guess if I couldn't see the joy of a health binge then I'd be in your position... I'm so sorry to be the very opposite of help, but I'm in an altered state such that I speak my mind :(

Strive again, strive to get addicted to running, or cooking, or your appearance. That's the best help I can give right now
 
Sobriety looked unappealing to me at first but once you experience problems with your health it's not fun to be addicted to substance anymore. This is what happened to me and I kept saying over and over again to avoid as much as possible getting addicted to substances.
 
Agreed!!! I was convinved i had hep c cause i was not careful at all. Got tested though and im good to go! Yay!!!! I have crappy ass veins though and the ones that i can use are disappearing. My arms are jacked up man!
 
gypsiejunkie said:
Agreed!!! I was convinved i had hep c cause i was not careful at all. Got tested though and im good to go! Yay!!!! I have crappy ass veins though and the ones that i can use are disappearing. My arms are jacked up man!
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That's great news! Now time to be sober high in life! :)
 
Zalo said:
I think complete sobriety is rather dull. Drugs in moderation makes life more appealing in my opinion.
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This really, people can take whatever they want but as soon as they become a parent/someone with responsibility they should keep their drug use to themselves.
I see people drinking, smoking tobacco and weed right in front of their child and its kinda sickening that they simply don't care/understand that their kid is picking up on their "nasty" habits. I am all about personal freedoms but imposing your ideas/drugs on children is wrong IMO. I suppose same could be said for coke and Pringles advertising so maybe its a moot point and that the child will have its own points of view anyway.

As for sobriety, since taking drugs I have found sobriety very boring, but that is perhaps because of my own perception to take, understand and process all drugs. So maybe not the best person to ask lol.

"I grew up in a family where my dad was an addict along with his whole family. I saw the damage done i still resent him to this day but for some reason excuse my own addiction"

My dad was/still is an alcoholic and smoker, but I don't resent him for it despite his dislike for me taking other drugs. He is trying to impose good values despite being hypocritical, so I believe his heart is in the right place but his points have been skewed by media and anti-drug propaganda.
 
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mrflowers00 said:
also resenting your dad ultimately hurts only you
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i agree. resentment is a huge issue for me...i just dont know how to deal with them at all. Especially since they raise my siblings (the ones *I* took care of until i moved out) the same way i grew up. except my dad quit meth and loves them. yes...yes i am bitter! Its a problem!!!
 
I wouldnt say its his drug use and hyprocracy that bothers me the most just what his "absence" caused in my life. I really try not to blane all my problems on my parents but its hard for me to get over sometimes. Hoping to tackle this HUGE problem in rehab so i can maybe have a chance at having a family again
 
Sobriety isn't unappealing. Shit I have real friendships, I don't wake up dopesick, nor hung over for days or need something to get me through the day. I have money to spend on things I need.
And I can actually deal with life without a crutch. A crutch that only adds more problems. I can laugh today. And feel good about myself in general.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
Being an addict.. it's very hard to see beyond that. It changes your brain chemistry..literally makes you a different person, so you can no longer comprehend what it means to be sober.

But you have to ask yourself... are you really that happy now? Most of the time, if you're deep enough into addiction (which almost everyone eventually becomes) the answer is no.

Being sober is a scary prospect, especially if it's been a long time since you've been clean... There are pros and cons to being sober, but at least then you don't have the drugs themselves holding you back and making you miserable. You get the choice back. You can make your own happiness..make your life what you want it to be.

Don't fear it. Many people worry about failure and the responsibility of being sober. Don't think of it that way. Think about all the awesome shit in life you can actually do when clean... Being a drug addict is not a life, man. Not a good one anyway.
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THIS^
I was in the exact same place as the op a few years ago. I have been sober for the last year. I did a few opanas this last weekend and my mind is back in the shitter just like that. I dont feel like fucking, playing the guitar, exercising, or doing anything in general on opiates and I do when I am not.

Sobriety>>>>>>>>>drugs

But I love me some drugs tbh
 
SineWaveSoldier said:
Sobriety isn't unappealing. Shit I have real friendships, I don't wake up dopesick, nor hung over for days or need something to get me through the day. I have money to spend on things I need.
And I can actually deal with life without a crutch. A crutch that only adds more problems. I can laugh today. And feel good about myself in general.
Click to expand...

Exactly...well said
 
Well , it really sucks your parents were addicts, so were mine. it didn't help me decide not to do drugs, but it didn't force me either. In my year of being sober I started to take responsibility for the mistakes I've made, and I've stopped blaming everyone else... it's better on the mind...and the soul to accept it was nobody elses fault then my own. good luck
 
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