I'm not a Methamphetamine expert or anything. It was never my drug of choice. Growing up in and around Boston, we did not have a market for Methamphetamine. It was Cocaine, Heroin and Cannabis combined with whatever pills were had by whomever you knew. I was never into Cocaine either, but anyway. I always heard that Methamphetamine could be bought within the gay community. I had one gay guy I worked with offer it to me on one occasion in like a decade of drug use, though it was implied that he was expecting something from me in return, so that didn't happen.
Tangent aside, I took a lot of Dextroamphetamine when I was in High School (recreationally) and college (recreationally/academically) so I had experience with Amphetamine in a general sense.
Methamphetamine only came to New England maybe ~5 years ago, as in it was as easy to get as any other hard drug. I always enjoyed Dextroamphetamine, both recreationally and for what I deemed legitimate purposes, so I thought "hey, this stuff is like 1/100th the cost of Adderall, what a steal!". Like you, I ended up having some reservations about the stuff after using it a few times.
See, it definitely got me "high", there was no denying that. It felt like Amphetamine, yes, at first. I remember being very surprised by the fact that I was already seriously paranoid after a single usage. This was several hours into the experience, by the way. I definitely didn't overdose or anything either. The experience had felt pretty normal for most of it. By the end though, I was acting like how crack heads act. I was too afraid to type on my computer, thinking the noise would wake people up and they'd know I was on drugs and would likely call the police; that sort of shit.
After that, I just assumed I had used too much. I wasn't experienced with Methamphetamine, but I had read enough about it to understand this was possible. This led to a total of less than a dozen experiences with the shit over the course of a couple of years. I eventually came to the conclusion that it wasn't something I liked or enjoyed. I was confused by the whole thing.
Fast forward a little while and I start to hear more and more from people with an extensive history with Methamphetamine who know the shit like how I know Opioids. I can discuss the finer points of difference between Fentanyl and Heroin the way you guys can with this new and old Methamphetamine. It seems that this belief that the Methamphetamine on the streets today is somehow different than how it used to be. The number of people saying so makes it difficult to deny at this point.
@tweekerbelle if you know anything about me, you know I don't judge anyone here. I mean, of course there are limits to that statement, but for you, I only care about you and your family. I know it can be really difficult to get perspective on your situation when you're getting high and nothing bad has happened yet. I've been there too.
I know you care about your husband and your kids. I don't want you to lost any of that over Methamphetamine. What a waste, to sacrifice so much just to stare at your phone aimlessly for hours. You gotta think about what the drug is giving you versus what you think it's gonna give you the moment when you're getting ready to pick up that pipe.
It's going okay now, but people generally don't escape from Methamphetamine without consequences. At the very least, it's going to change you and your kids will eventually notice. It's just not worth it. There are other ways to unwind that you can fall back on, maybe some wine, maybe a joint, I'm not sure.
I know it's not easy to quit. I'm not sure where you're located. I'm in New England and we are starting to see a fairly rapid thawing in the way drug addicts are being treated. Methadone can be given in the emergency department to anyone who wants it, that sort of thing. In addition, I know a lot of Methamphetamine users who are being trialled on high doses of stuff like Lisdexamfetamine. I'm not saying this is the ultimate solution for getting better, but I can't deny that having a stepping stone like this could be a major help for those trying to get off the stronger drug.
At any rate, if you need anything, advice, support whatever, you can always hit me up. I hope everything works out for you!