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Why do you do drugs…?

Depends on the drug :hehe:

Alcohol (my DOC, I 💌it, it feels amazing ☺️), weed and ecstasy for partying:bong::Mario party:
Amphetamines to lock in and spend extended periods of time studying/working on projects :ilovemypills::pupil2:
Psychedelics for introspection to help work through personal issues and to sometimes have transpersonal spiritual experiences :trippy:
And whatever else comes my way just to experiment with cause why the fuck not :shrug:

Also nicotine because I'm addicted to it :derp:
 
My counter question why do you drink flavored liquids? In general they are bad for you; certainly worse than water. We should get rid of all flavored beverages right --- no no not good enough. We should go to war against flavored beverages.

They cost money, they are unhealthy, the packaging is clogging up the oceans -- lets lock up anyone drinking em as well

See how crazy that sounds.
 
It used to be for partying, fun, tripping, partly for stress and sleep and now PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia and all of that.
 
For me the reason why I do drugs, from when I started until now, has completely changed over the decades.

In the beginning it was to experience something I hadn't experienced before.
In the middle it was trying to experience something I used to experience in the beginning
Now, I use drugs, but in all honesty, don't get high from them.... I get more of a high from the activity or non activity I choose or am obliged to be doing, and after many years I feel that my life now would be considerably worse without them.

I am truly grateful for the countless narrow escapes during the "wonder years" and am privileged to be able to share this post now in relatively good health.

Sure I feel the need to "escape reality", but I know that reality will be there when I return, so I use drugs to keep me in reality, with an advantage of avoiding unnecessary mental anguish that is just a distraction from reaching the state of mind I never thought was possible back in the day.

So quotes like this has more meaning to me now than it would have 30 years ago.

And that if you decide that my life deserves my developing this is what I do well
And becoming the best at it in mastering myself and seeing what I have within me
If you decide to drop your buckets where you are
And develop your gifts
I grant you you'll never ever be without
I grant you that your gifts will take you to places that will literally amaze you
You can decide “I’m going to live each day as if it were my last!”
You have the power to make that decision
You can decide “I’m going to work on myself and develop myself"
I’m going to empower me
And all of these things that are happening to me right now they’re just temporary inconveniences
They’re not stronger than I am
I’m in charge here

- Les Brown

Obviously I stumbled on this quote by listening to music, music that I didn't think I would be able to enjoy at my age.

Boy was I wrong.

FWIW I will link the tune for those interested.

Thank you Hozho - You are a legend.

 
As others have said, it depends on the drug. Mainly, I've gotten into the habit of using them because I'm not comfortable in my own skin when I'm sober, so I've used them as a way to cope. I also struggle with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder and ADHD. I've used different drugs as a means to cope with those, and I'll usually reach for a different drug depending on what I'm trying to medicate. A profound sense of boredom is a symptom that I experience due to those disorders and I find that just about any drug eases that, except for marijuana. Marijuana leaves me panicked AND bored, unless I get the dose just right, which is very hard because I require a very low dose and if I exceed it just a little bit, then I'm in for a hard time.

Over the last few years I've struggled with far too frequent dissociative use. I thought I was using it to treat my ADHD and Depression, and in sense I have been. However, for a long time I have thought that I was trans. I've fought the feeling for so many years. I've just been afraid to live as my true self out of fear. Unfortunately there's a large portion of society who think lesser of trans folk, and there are plenty of people who would like to see me dead solely because I am trans. It makes coming out and living as a woman incredibly scary. I recently decided during a 3,4-MD-PCP trip that I want to die with as few regrets as possible, and I don't want to die regretting that I didn't allow myself even a single moment of living as my true self. I don't want to be on my death bed feeling that I wasted my life and lived my entire life in fear. After that experience I recently started testosterone blockers and estrogen.

The reason I mention that is because since that day I have been sober. Almost 90 days just because I decided that I could. Before I decided to live as my true self, making it 24 hours without some sort of drug was excruciating. Now I feel fine without them. It's night and day. I don't plan on being sober forever. I just wanted to prove to myself that I can. I plan on getting more dissociatives soon because I'd like to think about and process the current change in my life. I've made a rule though. When I get more, if I break into my lock box to get to them before it unlocks, then I have to toss the drugs. I did this break to remind me that being sober doesn't have to mean the end of the world. So I'm hoping I'll be able to keep it to once every couple of weeks/once a week at most

In terms of psychedelics, I basically only have done those in recent years when I have felt depressed and felt that I needed a change in perspective. I am currently tapering my mirtazapine so that I can take a psychedelic and think about living life as my true self. I'm still scared shitless despite starting to take the steps that I need to to be happy. I need a shift in perspective to help looking past the fear
 
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SuperPsych said:
As others have said, it depends on the drug. Mainly, I've gotten into the habit of using them because I'm not comfortable in my own skin when I'm sober, so I've used them as a way to cope. I also struggle with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder and ADHD. I've used different drugs as a means to cope with those, and I'll usually reach for a different drug depending on what I'm trying to medicate. A profound sense of boredom is a symptoms that I experience due to those disorders and I find that just about any drug eases that, except for marijuana. Marijuana leaves me panicked AND bored, unless I get the dose just right, which is very hard because it requires a very low dose and if I exceed it just a little bit, then I'm in for a hard time.

Over the last few years I've struggled with far too frequent dissociative use. I thought I was using it to treat my ADHD and Depression, and in sense I have been. However, for a long time I have thought that I was trans. I've fought the feeling for so many years. I've just been afraid to live as my true self out of fear. Unfortunately there's a large portion of society who think lesser of trans folk, and there are plenty of people who would like to see me dead solely because I am trans. It makes coming out and living as a woman incredibly scary. I recently decided during a 3,4-MD-PCP trip that I want to die with as few regrets as possible, and I don't want to die regretting that I didn't allow myself even a single moment of living as my true self. I don't want to be on my death bed feeling that I wasted my life and lived my entire life in fear. After that experience I recently started testosterone blockers and estrogen.

The reason I mention that is because since that day I have been sober. Almost 90 days just because I decided that I could. Before I decided to live as my true self, making it 24 hours without some sort of drug was excruciating. Now I feel fine without them. It's night and day. I don't plan on being sober forever. I just wanted to prove to myself that I can. I plan on getting more dissociatives soon because I'd like to think about and process the current change in my life. I've made a rule though. When I get more, if I break into my lock box to get to them before it unlocks, then I have to toss the drugs. I did this break to remind bg sober doesn't have to mean the end of the world. So I'm hoping I'll be able to keep it to once every couple of weeks/once a week at most

In terms of psychedelics, I basically only have done those in recent years when I have felt depressed and felt that I needed a change in perspective. I am currently tapering my mirtazapine so that I can take a psychedelic and think about living life as my true self. I'm still scared shitless despite starting to take the steps that I need to to be happy. I need a shift in perspective to help looking past the fear
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I can’t even begin to pretend to know what that feeling is like. I mean.. I know what it’s like to always feel uncomfortable in your own skin but not in the way that you’re talking.

Grab life by the balls and tuck the fuckers ;)(sorry, I’m being playful … zero offence intended. I’ll delete if you’d prefer me to ❤️)

Just be… YOU. Whatever that “looks” or means for you. I understand the safety issue is concerning. I’m sorry you’re struggling the way you are. No one should be scared to walk down the street because of what they’re wearing or how they look.

Congrats on the sobriety :) Ride it out for as long as you please. You seem to have an awareness of what is and isn’t good for you.

Be well ❤️
 
pixies+ said:
I can’t even begin to pretend to know what that feeling is like. I mean.. I know what it’s like to always feel uncomfortable in your own skin but not in the way that you’re talking.

Grab life by the balls and tuck the fuckers ;)(sorry, I’m being playful … zero offence intended. I’ll delete if you’d prefer me to ❤️)

Just be… YOU. Whatever that “looks” or means for you. I understand the safety issue is concerning. I’m sorry you’re struggling the way you are. No one should be scared to walk down the street because of what they’re wearing or how they look.

Congrats on the sobriety :) Ride it out for as long as you please. You seem to have an awareness of what is and isn’t good for you.

Be well ❤️
Click to expand...
I appreciate the kind words :)

And yeah a lot of the experience is a bit shitty in certain ways, but I get to experience a fairly unique perspective that a lot of people don't get to experience and there is something special in that. If society was more accepting then I honestly think that being trans would be a wholly beautiful experience (well, for the most part).

I'm determined to live life as best as I can. My only regret is not starting my transition sooner (which is a regret basically every trans person has). I'm currently 31 and started my transition right after my birthday. I wish I had gotten started in my 20's but hey, there are plenty of trans folk who didn't get started on their transition until they were in their 40's or 50's or even 60's. Sooner rather than later but later rather than never
 
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SuperPsych said:
I appreciate the kind words :)

And yeah a lot of the experience is a bit shitty in certain ways, but I get to experience a fairly unique perspective that a lot of people don't get to experience and there is something special in that. If society was more accepting then I honestly think that being trans would be a wholly beautiful experience (well, for the most part).

I'm determined to live life as best as I can. My only regret is not starting my transition sooner (which is a regret basically every trans person has). I'm currently 31 and started my transition right after my birthday. I wish I had gotten started in my 20's but hey, there are plenty of trans folk who didn't get started on their transition until they were in their 40's or 50's or even 60's. Sooner rather than later but later rather than never
Click to expand...
I appreciate every lesson I’ve learned.

I can’t pretend to have a large understanding of what it means to be so conflicted about “who” I am in the way that you, and so many struggle with.

But you have the right to walk this earth with your head held high just like any other person on this planet - safely.
❤️
 
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