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Why do women judge their own looks?

The Wizard of the Creek said:
Don’t you judge me! One statement was made in The Lounge tongue in cheek, and the other was made in this forum.

PS. I meant both statements and stand them both!
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Ah. Fair enough. I didn’t realise someone had dragged a Lounge post into this thread. As The Lounge is anything goes it’s best it not be cross-quoted into this Forum as it may result in misunderstandings. However, I stand by my comment that anyone who would speak to their female partner like that is a pretty low kind of person. But since you were apparently joking I am not saying that’s you. @birdup.snaildown that was a bit sketchy inserting a Lounge post in here. The Lounge has very different rules, standards, and culture to here.
 
Atelier3 said:
that was a bit sketchy inserting a Lounge post in here
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It's not a Lounge thread. It's from @cduggles SLR thread.

Venting - Say something you can't say to their face

We had this thread before, but it got out of control. With my ineffable charm I have gotten permission from the mods to reopen. So here goes: It’s not something that it would be smart for me to let anyone know, because you have influence over my career, but you are such a petty jealous bitch...
www.bluelight.org www.bluelight.org
 
Ok. Still not helpful to the conversation here though. But points for being sensitive to that kind of language.

Also I was generalising to anyone who spoke to their partner like that. Not labelling The Wizard specifically. But point taken. Now can we get back on topic please?
 
Yeah it's a shitty attitude towards woman or men that probably stems down generations.. shame... I am usually all peace and love I think it's bed time for me I'm a drunkard 🤗❤️
 
It’s all such a matter of choice when it comes to what men want. I’ve had men that wanted me thinner when I was just starting college and I was pretty skinny. Then the last 2 men I’ve been with said that I might look better with more meat on my bones. I’ve been with men that really like women with soft, not huge, but not flat tummies.

We women know that we can have a flat tummy Monday but a belly protuberance 2 days later. A lot of it, for me, has to do with how well I’m hydrated and whether I’ve ingested too much sodium in the day(s) prior.

Other than health, the number one thing is really about how we, as women, feel about our bodies. At my advanced age, I’m more comfortable in my skin than I was 20 years ago. I would like to be more uninhibited while naked and during those activities that require my nakedness. I’ve used alcohol to get myself to the point where I feel truly uninhibited in bed. I need to work on getting there without drinking.
 
@ 🧙‍♂️

I kinda like shy girls, though. I get what you mean, but confidence isn't everything. What the OP said about stressing over and over again about how much she hates her appearance... that's definitely a turn off. But over-confidence can be a big a turn off for me too.
 
Shy as in insecure about body and or looks? I only ask out of interest no judgement 🙂
 
@iTry91

I don't think I've ever really thought about it too much, but - yeah - I like a bit of insecurity. Ideally women should walk an impossible tight rope between too fat and too skinny... they should also walk an impossible tight rope between too confident and not confident enough. At the intersection of these (and many other) impossible tightropes lies the perfect woman. Stay away: she's mine. ;)
 
A 'perfect' man for me would be a protector who would put an arm around me in inevitable hard times...not bothered bout looks in terms of a lifetime partner as long as you cut your nails lol and wash 😛
 
All i can add is that i blame mainstream media and social media for giving most woman that aren't picture perfect or model bodies for making them insecure, then there is also there past. Did they get bullied or pict on there whole life in school an after school because of there looks. I know i'm guilty of that cause i wasn't build like a "baksteen kakhuis" afrikaans saying for being well built and big and so on i went to gym, used AAS and got a body that most woman drooled about but that also just made me realize that most if not all was just worries about how i look and not who i am and at the same time people say it's whats on the inside that counts but no one or most won't even get to know the person on the inside if they don't even find you attractive on the outside, like a dbl edge sword scenario. My ex always had an issue about her C-section mark and stretch marks around her thighs and so on. And the more i use to try and tell her that its only normal to have those scars and you gave birth to 3 incredible children, you should be proud of. But nothing really got through and at the end it also killed our sex life. Cause every time we were gonna get intimate i already knew what was waiting for me (conversation wise) and at the end we broke apart.

I hope you get through to her or it turns out better but i know the feeling.
 
The perfect man for me would be smart and have a fab sense of humor. We’d have the same musical tastes. Looks are less important, though I will admit I don’t have the desire to date any guy under 5’10”, for purely selfish reasons. I like to wear high heels on occasion and I’d rather not tower over my guy. He’d be close to my age because that means we’d share the same or similar points in modern history to refer to.

He would be the kinda guy who puts on music while we have sex and he’d be amenable to me giving him a massage prior to lovemaking. I must add this as I’ve been with 2 different guys who really didn’t enjoy being touched and this was very odd and troubling to me. He’d have a dad bod preferably or he’d be on the fatter, rather than skinnier side of the bell curve.

Muscular legs, strong arms and pecs are all desirable. As is an open mind re: my body, whether he might favor girls that are thinner or thicker than I am. As long as we can get past that, he can accept my body full of abdominal surgical scars in excess of 25 or 30 total, and be willing to use candles for illumination rather than lightbulbs, I think I’d have, and make sure my guy had a fab time.
 
birdup.snaildown said:
@iTry91

I don't think I've ever really thought about it too much, but - yeah - I like a bit of insecurity. Ideally women should walk an impossible tight rope between too fat and too skinny... they should also walk an impossible tight rope between too confident and not confident enough. At the intersection of these (and many other) impossible tightropes lies the perfect woman. Stay away: she's mine. ;)
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I would not want to be with an insecure person (again), but I also think shy is the wrong word to use for women. Women aren't shy like men are. Arguably and in my opinion, both men and women can be reserved. Children tend to be shy though

Don't mind me, I'm just trying to take the fun out of your words ;) But seriously, there's nothing worse than hanging out with someone who talks about themselves all day. I consider myself an easygoing type but these people will drain the life out of you hehe
 
Gormur said:
nothing worse than hanging out with someone who talks about themselves all day
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Over-confident people talk about themselves more than reserved / under-confident people. Everything is a balance.
 
birdup.snaildown said:
Over-confident people talk about themselves more than reserved / under-confident people. Everything is a balance.
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Over-confident = insecure. They're self-absorbed and not confident or secure in the least. Reserved people just show less emotion, for whatever reason. Maybe they grew up shy or don't like to talk very much. It's not any kind of balance issue I know of

I'd consider myself reserved as I grew up shy and made friends with people who approached me. I'm still that way even though I can branch out and meet people if I push myself. I always know what to say because I taught myself what to do in certain situations, but I'm not what you'd call an outgoing person
 
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