Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
I made an acquaintance recently. I am sure soon we will be friends. They have said they are very thankful to have met me. We don't just hug but embrace. We stare in each other's eyes. Have spent hours together. I start to feel close to someone else again. I am sure we feel very similarly about each other and we seem to be on the same wavelength. We've both "opened up" and seem to not be repulsed by each other. I don't know why I try. I don't know what I get out of life either but in the years' past I have wished to shut my "heart" off to not love anymore. I do not like the grief and loss. I do not like missing someone you used to love forever. It is an incredibly uncomfortable feeling.
Question, why do I want this? What am I getting out of it?
There's probably no easy answers here. None of my questions will likely be answered without an absurd answer, but any input, even loosely connected, is appreciated. If I had to guess this is a placeholder or a charade to let me ignore how lonely I am. I don't know why my mind tries to deceive itself.
Question, why do I want this? What am I getting out of it?
There's probably no easy answers here. None of my questions will likely be answered without an absurd answer, but any input, even loosely connected, is appreciated. If I had to guess this is a placeholder or a charade to let me ignore how lonely I am. I don't know why my mind tries to deceive itself.