Why can't I have any pleasant feeling from drugs anymore ?

[sinamonger]

Hello,

I wanted to start this thread because of a question I can't seem to find an answer to. Long story short, I have been on lexapro (escitalopram) for 1 year and a half. 10 months ago, I decided to stop taking it, due to weight problems (I went from 62 kilos to 104 kilos in one year and a half) as a side effect of escitalopram.
Since then, I can't have any pleasant feeling when taking drugs anymore. When on lexapro, I used to enjoy drinking all the time, it added something to the buzz and I had no hangover.

Now,when drinking alcohol, all I feel is blurred vision, sedation and horrible hangover, even after only a few beers. Benzo's only sedate me (well, never had euphoria from them, but at least a feeling of calm). Methoxetamine doesn't work either, same for DXM (+horrible side effect like i'm going to pass out, when coming down). I was thinking that it has done something to my serotonin, but I can't feel the mellow effect from opiates anymore either (even the itchies disappeared !). I used to dissociate like hell from cannabinoids like UR-144, and have mind-blowing experiences, like understanding everything, but now all I feel is my body buzzing. Dysphoria is what happens every-time I do drugs, I feel un at ease. What is happening ? Am I going to be "pleasure-less" for the rest of my life ?

The sad thing is because of that I am in a drug seeking behaviour that becomes dangerous, I am chasing the dragon as one could say everywhere, with disappointment each time. I don't know what drug to try anymore, or what to do to relax. Only working out helps a little bit.

I read somewhere that serotonin receptors can be damaged by SSRI's. If true, is it permanent ?

Thanks for reading me, I am sure that I am not the only one on earth experiencing this frustration...

 

[T. Calderone]

I had a similar experience from celexa only I'm on it again. You didn't say if you smoked weed, only the other stuff. I didn't have problems with everyday weed, opiates and drank beer with no bad effects. Then again, my break was caused by pregnancy so it was well after a year before resuming getting high activity. Were you on a high dose? I know there is a correlation with discontinuing SSRI's but I didn't think it would take this long.

 

[sinamonger]

Thanks for answering !
No, I don't usually smoke weed (love/hate relationship with it)... however, the only time I did it after quitting lexapro, I felt like shit at minimal dosage, and during the day after also.
I was on 10 mg a day during the first year, and 15mg a day during the last 6 months.
You said you took a one year break, and then everything was fine... well, it's pretty much the time I also have, and yet nothing changed.

Since you are back on citalopram, did the positive effects coming from drugs changed or not ? I might also consider going back on lexapro, if that's what it takes to feel well-being again...

 

[blight12]

Well its prob tolerance unless you try a new drug and it doesnt work like it should. Id say its a blessing. Once less reason to do drugs.

And yes came of SSRI's last year. They did make drinking better which was a common fact i saw before i started. Alcohol hardly does anything for me after the first 30 mins, except make me crave drugs and help anxiety, and depress me a little, benzos stopped working recently after 1 week to get off the daily booze.

Weed has also never worked for me like it does with other people, its always an instant paranoia trip, does to me similar to what mild salvia reports sound like. I wish i could have smoked instead of drank.

I am so over alcohol i wish I could never touch it again, all my other drug use is tied to it as well. Alas, I cannot. its difficult for somebody with occasional anxiety issues, does not desire SSRI or Benzo addiction and also has the desire for a social life. Being around drunk friends sober is the worst thing ever, and i need that social boost.

Kratom has been a lifesaver though, wow. A far better benzo replacement for me by far, just 3 days on 2 days off on the shitty benzos and booze has been stopped daily easily for 4 weeks now. (Still have on weekends though). And omg how much better you feel when you dont drink every day.

 

[T. Calderone]

Since you are back on citalopram, did the positive effects coming from drugs changed or not ? I might also consider going back on lexapro, if that's what it takes to feel well-being again...

The first break I put myself on due to necessity. Went back in little increments with no trouble but it was more than a year. But this time, I'm just drinking small amounts, not overdoing it and feeling good. No drugs as of yet cos of legal reasons, you know how that goes. I think if you wait a bit you will be okay. Plus keep working out, eating healthy and you'll get back to normal eventually. Give it some time.

 

[CloudyFluffy]

How many of hours of sleep are you getting each night?.

Clearly, something is wrong. It could be addiction?...

- Get your sleep right. Sleep at least 10 hours each night. Don't do benzos. In my opinion its nice to take antihistamines,melaion or something and get to sleep by 9:30pm and wake up fresh as a daisy in the morning.

I remember after using drugs I had a messed up sleep pattern for about the next 4 years of my life. I was a mess. And it was all down to my sleep.