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Why are you addicted?

I still don't really know...I should and I know there is a reason. I feel ya, crOOk. After rehabs and hundreds of hours of counseling...I fucking don't know. I don't really have any top-level risk factors (demographic, family, background, etc.), but I can't stop consistently for more than a few months. I feel like I am in hell sometimes.
 
A good straight to the point question really :) and one i cant answer lol.. i have come to the conclusion over the past years that i am not really addicted to one specific substance but more so addicted to being high/stoned.. i have had a no sobriety rule i have lived by since i was 15, the longest time i went without anything was 9 months while i was carrying my son, everything stopped dead until after he was born..and at that point i didnt mind, but they gave me T3s afterwards for post surgery pain relief and i went straight back to using anything and everything i could find to alter my mind..and not to escape my life as many people claim users are trying to do, but because i love being high..i started my love of pills with the mouth watering Dexidrine before it was so severely restricted, when my best friends script of those ended we started on opiates..
 
Because old habits die hard :\

It's really not serving any constructive purpose for me any more. No escapism, no special excitement, no vested social outlet... in fact it's probably one of the few things standing between me & my ability to begin enjoying life again.

which is probably why it's taking me so long to let go.
I am, though, and that's the main thing....
 
If a person was born with dysphoria and needs drugs to try and lower the amount of dysphoria that is felt, the following psychological warfare disinformation will be used against that person:



"You must get off drugs and see a professional psychiatrist doctor for SSRI Tricyclic mood stabilizer antipsychotic antidepressants that can help you"

"You are using an escape route and are not dealing and coping with life issues normally like i and most people do"

"You do not seem like you want to get better

"You must get to the root of the problem, and underlining issue"

"There are good reasons why some drugs are prohibited and others are used as prescriptions to help you"

"You will feel better once you are 'clean' and all withdrawal subsides, then you can live life. If not, doctors will help you with treatments"



All of the above statements are completely false and dark psychological warfare being waged.

This is a form of psychological warfare where the dark population and dark mainstream system will say things that are the exact opposite of reality, or reverse everything to opposites. The dark population and dark cabal establishment does not understand dysphoria at all, nor basic limited knowledge pharmacology and will do Disinfo PsyOps.

There are two primary responses that the programmed population has when reading what i wrote above or about this issue. the first is that they disbelieve it and say its not true. The second is that they agree but ultra-downplay and pretend its dozens of times less severe of an issue that it really is when 30,000 per year in the US alone commit suicide. They will consider what ever the TV tells them is a serious issue to be a serious issue, and other issues will be more like "yea, this is a problem in our imperfect system, there are pros and cons"rather than admitting its severe psychological warfare disinformation and being in love with death and torture. downplaying issues as if they are a little problem to be worked through, doing weak garbage factor.

In other words, the reaction to this issue even among people who agree with me is extremely weak and downplayed. This issue of prohibition and also giving depressions treatments that dont work and lie and say peer reviewed sciences says they work, is an issue as disgusting as the UN's child sex slave rings, staging of false flag operations and staging of mass war around the globe. This Torture is just as severe as danger and death because both destroy life and liberty.
 
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Tone303 said:
"You will feel better once you are 'clean' and all withdrawal subsides, then you can live life. [...]"
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Most people on here who actually managed to get off opioids claim they feel a lot better. Since it's a challenge for most addicts to focus on the negative aspects of their habit, it's probably not a good idea to tell them they're doing the right and only sane thing. Just my 2 cents, I might be wrong. After all this is harm reduction... I would advocate a responsible recreational use as well, but a lot of people here haven't managed to use drugs responsibly and slipped into hell on earth.
 
came by accident shortage of weed "here smoke this its just like weed only better ..now shoot it up better value for money" then it was too late, cant stand reality, guess its just who i am, i like being high or on, dont happen often enough for me tho, if it never ran out there would be no problem
 
Originally posted in The Lounge:

This is a post made in The Lounge, oh, I dunno, a week or so ago? Anyway, it has been suggested that I open a new thread for it as it didn't belong in the particular thread I posted it in but I didn't have a reason to go and do that; not in my eyes. It seems to fit here though.


It's a crazy story. You really don't think something like that can happen to you. It's the last thing you foresee.

I was walking one block to a venue where a friend's band was playing on a Friday night. People were out and about and it was fairly early on in the evening. I never thought twice about walking ONE block by myself in a semi-busy area.

This guy was parked in the back of a parking garage and yelled at me to see if I could help him with some directions. Being way too trusting back then I didn't think twice about it. I wanted to help him.

I had barely made it to his car when I got shoved in the back seat, threatened with a knife, tied up, and thrown under a blanket. I was driven to the middle of nowhere, had the ever living shit beaten out of me (among other things I won't disgust anyone with; also, the head injuries I sustained induced epilepsy within one week and this is something I still deal with to this day) and I personally believe left for dead in a ditch. He cut all of my hair off too. I never would have cut my hair short otherwise but I had to get it fixed. It was as short as your average guy's... He grabbed my pony tail and literally hacked it off at the base of my skull.

I never, ever carry my cell in my pocket but that night it was there and it was a razor so I guess he didn't see it. I was able to crawl out and walk several miles until I found service, call the guy I was seeing at the time, and get taken to the hospital whereupon I was swarmed by cops and doctors.

They never caught him and chances are he has probably done it to someone else. These kinds of perpetrators often escalate with each crime they commit too. This is definitely someone that has serial killer traits, and it terrifies me.

I'm not sure why I'm writing all this up but I only recently started talking about it so I find that it actually helps to do this sort of thing, even if it's for no one in particular. I used to have a hard time telling people for several reasons, the main one being that I never, ever want to bring anyone down with my hard-luck story. I don't like people feeling bad over me, especially loved ones. I still hold back with people I'm close to and don't talk about it, but everyone knows what happened anyway, even when I didn't go to the press or anything like that.

This girl's story is actually somewhat similar to mine: http://www.ketv.com/news/611603/detail.html

I would never wish this on anyone else but the fact that there are other people out there is kind of comforting in a weird way. At least someone understands. Also, I want people--women especially--to know that you can never, EVER be too careful. Unfortunately I find myself even being rude in order to ward off strangers that approach me, usually because they're just being nice, but it's something I feel that I have to do to keep myself safe. I also carry a gun with me now when I used to be completely against guns, especially while concealed.

Women on Bluelight take note to this; learn from my mistake. It's actually one of the main reasons I want to talk about this here, no matter how inappropriate it might be (especially in this thread, my apologies).

SOOOO YEAH. That's my story That is why I was so depressed back then. I made a complete 180 after all of this happened. I was so against drugs but after that I had heard they could make you feel a lot better about shit, so what did I do? I tried almost everything I could get my hands on within one month and was harboring a solid addiction within two months tops. At 16.

This is why I originally used drugs. It then became an actual excuse for me, and THEN it wasn't even really relative once I became a full blown addict and used substances to not only forget all of my experiences and issues but also to maintain the actual addiction.
 
Nothing is fun, and I refuse self sacrificial. That's all.

Crashing life on planet earth, baby. Hell yeah. My head is too messed up for a sane world.
 
i suppose the enitial reason istarted getting high was simply because it felt fucking incredible. I started out at age 12 smokin weed and cigarettes, By age 13 , i was driven by something deep inside to do ANYTHING i could to achieve an altered or numbed state of concienceness. weed and inhalents mostly at that age, with an occasional vicodin in there. After a while i had made so many sacrafices and bad choices to achieve my altered states that gradually, i relized that i was getting high to hide from on the disapointments in let downs in my life that was caused by my drug use(if that is not a vicious circle, i dont know what is). Im not a full on dope sick junkie, I hold a 9-5 job, and they have never drug tested me even though if the suspect me they will do so immediatly. But im way beond a light drinking, smoking occasionally, recreational drug user. I am the middle ground, not the worse case senario of drug use, but i would definatly say im an addict - to tabacco, caffiene, and weed mostly- and then booze, coke, pharm. ampthetamines, benzos, opiates, datura, and dxm on the side, the only things i can think of that i've never tried are crack, meth, and pcp. And i want to try meth and pcp, lol. In my 8 years of drug use ive done anything i could get my hands on that i thought could numb or discact me from the horrors of having to get out of bed in the morning and face the reality ive made for myself.
 
Wizzle said:
That's some heavy stuff UNH... How are you doing now?
Click to expand...

I am doing a lot better now than I was after the fact and up until I was about twenty. I still struggle with it though and it absolutely pisses me off when I feel like I let something that happened six years ago influence my life to this day.

When I meet people I don't tend to talk about it until I've become really close to them. I have a few quirks about me to this day that I attribute to what happened so I feel like I should eventually explain things, especially the epilepsy. I mean if I get to where I'm spending a lot of time with someone they obviously have to know why I have to take so much medicine and what to do if I should fall out [even though I haven't had a seizure in a while].
 
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